Just Below Surface
by habamaniac
Summary: Dr. Romano is just misunderstood, isn't he? For all you 'Rocket' fans out there, he is still alive and kicking in this version.
1. Car Trouble

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the ER characters, etc.

Author's Note: As some of you may be in a pre-mourning phase as I am, I've been reminiscing about my favorite years of ER and decided that even if _they_ felt the need to emasculate and kill off one of _the_ best characters, there was still a story to tell about Dr. 'Rocket' Romano. Hopefully I do him justice.

**Chapter 1 – Car Trouble**

"Shit, not again!" Grace said. "Please start, please!" she implored of her tired old chevy. It was 20 below as she sat pleading inside the front seat of her crappy vehicle, in the parkade of County General. Finally conceding defeat, she got out, slammed the door in disgust and yelled obscenities at her car which had once again let her down in her hour of need.

"Useless piece of shit!" She yelled out.

"Now, now, Miss Hanson, that's no way to talk about the Chief of Staff."

Recognizing the voice, she spun around completely embarrassed and a little terrified. A little surprised he even knew who she was, responded, "Dr. Romano. I'm so, so sorry. I was talking to my car."

"Does it talk back?" He said sarcastically.

Grinning slightly, she replied, "No, I think it's DOA actually."

"Well then, my sympathies. Do you need a ride home?"

"Oh, no, that's okay. I'll take the EL."

"In this weather? You realize you're risking frostbite and hypothermia just walking a couple of blocks in this weather? My ER spies tell me you're a lot smarter than that. Come on, my car's over here."

She looked at him, unsure of what to do. It seemed weird to have Dr. 'Rocket' Romano offering her a ride home.

"It's got seat warmers."

"Sold!" She agreed and gladly climbed inside. "Wow, this is a beautiful car." As she noticed it was a Jaguar.

"I know. Nothing like yours, is it?"

"Hey now, I'm just a poor nurse, remember? You don't pay me enough to drive a car like this."

"You're paid a fair salary, Miss Hanson. If you don't like it, you are welcome to go elsewhere."

"Well right now I'm glad to be going home, riding in the lap of luxury." She was not going to bite at his comment. She had worked at County about six months, long enough to know he enjoyed provoking people into impulsive arguments which usually ended in him coming out as the winner.

"Where do you live?"

"It's not far, just take the 94 and exit near the lake. It's an apartment building over near the waterfront."

"How quaint."

"It's lovely, thank you."

They sat in silence for the next few minutes until they reached her street.

"Just over there, on the left, Dr. Romano. I can't thank you enough for the ride. I hope it didn't take you out of your way too much."

"Well I can't have you calling in sick, Hanson. God knows I've got enough slackers in the ER right now and we need all able bodies on deck."

"Thanks so much, Dr. Romano. Goodnight."


	2. Did I Say That Out Loud?

**Chapter 2 – Did I Say That Out Loud?**

Grace braved the elements, dressed like an Eskimo and rode the EL into work the next day. The weather was supposed to break soon, but she feared it could be a while before she could get her car started.

Romano was right. The ER was short staffed with several people away sick with the flu and some, as always, not sick at all, just MIA.

After seeing numerous patients and being on her feet for hours on end, Grace was desperate for a break, but with staffing so low, she knew it would be unlikely she'd get a rest during her shift. She went into the lounge to grab a quick coffee and ran into Carter.

"Hey, it's a real zoo out there today."

"You said it. Hey, Carter, any chance I could bum a ride home? My car's completely dead."

"Really, how'd you get here? Did you take the EL?"

"Yeah, but it's brutal. It was late, cold, and packed with sick people."

"Just like being here." He joked.

"Well, I got lucky last night, I caught a ride home with Romano."

Carter nearly spit out some of his coffee. "Say again?"

"He was walking past me in the parkade as I was cursing out my car, and took pity on me."

"And he didn't run you over? Now _that's_ a Christmas miracle."

"Well, I guess even he can be nice once and a while." They walked out of the lounge and back towards the admit desk.

"Look, I'm sorry Grace, but I have a benefit to go to after work for the Carter Family Foundation. I brought a change of clothes so I could go straight there. Maybe Luka can give you a ride?"

"No time for personal chit chat in the ER, Dr. Carter. Go forth and heal. They're backed up in chairs as we speak."

Carter walked away and ignored Romano. Grace tried to sneak away unnoticed, but Romano noticed everything.

"And you Nurse Hanson? Isn't there an enema waiting in exam 2 with your name on it?"

"Yes, Dr. Romano. I was just on my way."

After catching up to the steady stream of patients, Grace approached Luka to see about catching a ride home, but he too had plans.

"Sorry, Grace. Any other day but today."

"That's okay, I've suffered all day without a break, might as well suffer all the way home on the EL, too." She turned around and found herself standing face to face with Romano.

"Still trying to beguile your way into a ride home?" He said, not moving away from her, as part of his usual intimidation. "Try to keep your whining to a minimum around the patients, Grace."

As he turned away, she sneered at him, causing Carter to snicker. "Hard to believe that guy has a mother." He muttered.

"Probably raised by wolves." She whispered.

Much to their surprise a booming reply came from far down the hall. "I heard that! Don't forget who does the ER schedule people!"

"You've _got _to be kidding. How is that even possible?" she said in disbelief.

Four hours later and two hours past the time her shift was supposed to end, Grace bundled up to prepare for her journey home and walked down a few blocks to the EL station. Finally arriving home, she made herself a cup of hot chocolate and went to bed with the electric blanket on full blast.

During the next day few days at work, Grace labored through her shifts, with many staff away due to illness or an unwillingness to get out of bed during this cold snap. One day in particular, she heard one of the other nurses talking.

"Yeah, he sure has been down here a lot, more than usual." Chuny commented.

"I know. It's kind of creepy." Abby replied.

Grace piped up trying to engage in the latest gossip. "Something I should know about, girls?"

"Oh, it's just Romano." Abby answered. "He's been down here all week for some reason. Snooping around. I don't know, it's kind of weird, like he's looking for something."

"Or _someone_!" Lily chimed in.

"Well, we have had a lot of surgical consults lately." Grace offered.

"Not this often. He normally gets his underlings to come to the ER to do most of his dirty work. I've never seen him down here this often in all the years I've been here."

"I think he's covering for Dr. Anspaugh, so he's pulling double duty for a while." Grace added. Although she did wonder why there always seemed to be a reason for him to be in the ER lately. Although she never directly caught him looking at her, she felt at times as though she was being watched. Sometimes, when he was strutting around on one of his tirades, he would brush past her, intentionally making it seem as though she had initiated the contact.

"Hands to yourself, Hanson. I'd hate to have to think about filing sexual harassment charges."

"I was reaching for these charts when you backed into me, Dr. Romano." Grace said, trying to defend herself.

"Robert, are you bothering my nurses again?" Kerry quipped.

"Are you jealous because they don't try to feel you up, Kerry?"

"Speaking of sexual harassment, Robert, I need to speak to you about one of the residents." She said as they went into the lounge for some privacy.

Malik came over to the admit desk and whispered to Grace that the homeless guy who just died had Blackhawks tickets in his pocket.

"Malik, you can't keep those."

"Well _he_ sure can't use them."

"Someone could claim them."

"Yeah, right. Look if no one has by the time I'm off, I'm using them."

Somehow, once again, Dr. Romano had walked by at the opportune moment and overheard the conversation. He demanded Malik give him the tickets.

"Man, I'm never gonna get to go to a Blackhawks game!" He said as he walked away.

"Now here's a game I've never understood. A bunch of men skating around frozen sheet of water, chasing a little black piece of rubber."

"Hockey is the greatest game ever played, Dr. Romano." Grace chimed in.

"Do tell, Hanson. What's so appealing about it?"

"A bunch of ripped, sweaty men skating around, banging into each other. Then the testosterone gets pumping and they start taking shots at each other. It's very sexy."

"And when you put it like that it makes it even less appealing."

"Did you play any sports in college Dr. Romano?" She asked, trying to put him on the spot for a change.

"Only those that involved chasing women around."

"Looks like you didn't win any championships." She commented as she walked away.


	3. Game On

**Chapter 3 – Game On**

It had been a relatively slow Tuesday until the paramedics brought in a middle-aged man with a GSW. Grace had been the primary nurse on shift and was working with Dr. Malucci on the patient. Malucci was struggling and Grace insisted he call for an attending, but he refused, saying he had things under control. Clearly he did not, so Grace told Lily to continue bagging the patient while she ran down the hall looking for another doctor. The flu had swept through the ER staff and left them with a skeleton crew.

The first one she saw was Romano and she literally grabbed him, dragging him with her. "Dr. Romano! Come quickly. Trauma one!"

He quickly took over and although it was touch and go, he had been able to stabilize the patient. As they wheeled the patient up to the OR, Dr. Romano commented on how her quick action helped to save the patient's life. "Great work, Hanson. Nice to see not all the nurses around here aren't afraid to question a resident."

"I'm sure Dr. Malucci was doing his best, but…"

"You helped to save this man's life, Grace. Don't sell yourself short." As he walked away, Grace couldn't help wonder if he was indeed downstairs strictly to spend more time with her. _Ridiculous_, she told herself. Romano was too self indulgent to even think about another person, let alone a woman, to this extent.

As the end of her shift finally neared, Grace went into the lounge, to get one last pick me up cup of coffee. With her back turned to the door, she rolled her neck and arched her back to try to relief some of the stress of the day.

"Long day, Grace?" His voice, barking and loud surprised her, and she whipped around, hurting her neck further in the process.

"Ow! Yeah. Everyone's sick with the flu these days."

"Just a typical winter in Chicago. Happens every year."

"I know. It's as dependable as death and taxes."

"And ER staff calling in sick."

"Dr. Romano…"

"What is it, Grace?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You know, for that comment I made the other day."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Now she felt extremely uncomfortable and very anxious. If he indeed had forgotten about it, she now would have to remind him.

"When I joked with Carter, about you being raised by wolves." She said nervously.

He smiled, "Oh yes. How juvenile. Thank you so much for reminding me." He said, standing very close to her. He had a habit of getting in everyone's personal space, to try to intimidate them and it was a method that served him well. At 5'3" Grace was one of the few people Romano could actually stare _down_ at.

"I know, and I'm so sorry, really. It was a long shift and I was tired, but I know that's no excuse."

"But…"

"But I had no right to say it and I want you to know, I am sincerely sorry." Romano just stared back at her. "Okay?" She added, expecting some sort of response.

"Miss Hanson, you seem to be under some misguided impression that I give two hoots about something a subordinate would say to me. I can assure you that anything someone in your position has ever said to me, is the very _last_ thing I would ever think twice about."

"Really? Well thanks for sharing." She said, turning to leave and grabbing her coat. "Well since that's the case, _Dr. Romano_," she said, emphasizing his name, "then please feel free to go fuck yourself!" she said as she slammed the door behind her and stormed out of the ER.

As the cold air hit her, she was struck with the realization of what she had said and immediately chastised herself for saying it. _What was I thinking?_ He is still the Chief of Staff, after all, even if he is a little toad. Good God, this was surely career suicide!

She made her way to the EL, still beating herself up, wishing she could go back in time and take back what she had to Romano. _I'm a complete idiot,_ she thought. _I'm totally fired for sure. Why did she let him get to her like that?_

She turned around and walked a couple of blocks back with the thought of apologizing, but chickened out and changed direction again, going back towards the EL. As she struggled with her inner turmoil, she could hear a car honking its horn, but ignored it, as she was used to tuning out the sounds of the city. Insistent, the horn continued and she turned around to see what the commotion was about. A window opened and to her embarrassment, there was Dr. Romano in his seat-warming Jaguar.

"Still slumming, Grace?"

"Still pompous and pretentious, Dr. Romano?" Good lord. Had she really said that out loud? Too tired to care, apparently she had.

"Just me being me. I don't suppose you'd like a ride home from someone who was raised by wolves?" She closed her eyes as her comment came back to bite her in the ass. _Why was life so cruel to her today?_

Standing beside his car, she bent down to speak to him through the window. "I think we both know the answer to that, but on the off chance I haven't completely destroyed my professional career, I think I'd better take the EL."

"Don't be ridiculous. Get in!" He barked.

Being a loose cannon, she didn't know half the time if he was serious, sarcastic or just downright sadistic. She decided it best to shut up and get in.

"I don't suppose there's anything I can say..."

"Maybe I overestimated your skills in the ER, Grace? Maybe the stress of working here is too much for you? Not everyone's cut out for Emergency Medicine." He said sarcastically.

"No, I'm fine with the pace of the ER. We were short 3 nurses, one or was it two docs, and an orderly, thank you very much. I've been vomited on, bitten and haven't eaten in 16 hours, not to mention staying 2 hours past the end of my shift. Does that sound like someone who isn't dedicated to the job?"

"Maybe it's hormones?"

"Oh, you're such a _man_."

"See, you really _do_ think I was raised by wolves."

"Only sometimes." She conceded, smiling slightly. "So why do they call you '_Rocket'_ Romano anyway?"

He stared at her for a moment. "Isn't it obvious? They say I can go off at any moment. And because I'm the fastest surgeon at County, maybe even the entire Midwest." He said arrogantly.

She chuckled for a moment. "So it's because you have a tendency to go off prematurely…and finish quickly?"

_Damn she was quick,_ he thought. He shook his head in disbelief, "Are you always this appreciative to someone who saves you from the perils of frostbite?"

"No. I guess you just bring out the best in me." She said sarcastically. "I really do appreciate the ride."

Romano, not having had a relationship, let alone sex in a very long while, was enjoying the banter with Grace. He liked a woman who could give as good as he could, and was disappointed when the short ride to her place meant an end to their conversation.

"Well, thanks again. And I am sorry."

"I really don't think you mean that."

"Right again, Romano." She grinned as she shut the car door.


	4. You do the Crime

**Chapter 4 – You do the Crime…**

As much as she loved her job, Grace was in a particularly good mood in anticipation of leaving work and going home on this day. She was dead on her feet and was already thinking about a bubble bath and a large glass of wine waiting for her at home, not to mention a few hours of mindless television.

She noticed Romano had come down to the ER, but it wasn't like him to be raising havoc so late in the day, however his motive was soon revealed.

"I need a volunteer to help with surgical charts. It seems our chart abstractor has taken a last minute trip to Mexico for the holidays." Of course his request was met with dead silence and complete avoidance. "Don't everyone jump in at once. Come on people I can't wait all day! Hanson, you'll do. Upstairs in half an hour. Brenda will show you to my office. That's all people, back to work!"

"Son of a bitch!" Grace said under her breath.

"Man, Romano seems to have it in for you." Carter commented. "What did you do to piss him off?"

"I don't know. Well, that's not exactly true. I kind of told him to go fuck himself." Grace answered.

"You're _serious_? And you still have a job?"

"It was under extenuating circumstances, Carter. Come on, everyone in this place has wanted to tell him that."

"But none of us were stupid enough to say it out loud." He said, tapping her on the head with a file. "Have fun with those charts, Grace."

Grace finished her shift and slowly made her way up to Romano's office. Brenda smiled when she saw her coming and pointed towards his door. Grace knocked tentatively and waited for a reply.

"Enter." He barked.

She took a deep breath for courage and opened the door cautiously.

"Yes, yes, all the way in, that's the ticket." Pointing to a massive stack of files, he told her that he needed them all finished before she left. It was part of a huge research project with an impending deadline.

"You've got to be joking? I'll be here all night." She said, incredulously.

He said nothing and stared back at her blankly.

"Come over here and I'll show you what I need you to do." She walked over and sat down across from his desk. "No, over _here._" He said pointing beside him. She shot him a look and slowly came around the side of his desk, so she could see exactly what it was he wanted. He began pointing out the specifics of the job at hand and as she leaned over, her hair fell across his shoulders and brushed against his face.

It was exactly what he hoped would happen. Not only did he get to feel her soft, silky light brown hair against his skin, he was able to breathe in her intoxicating scent, and better yet, as the end to a perfect triple play, he was given a front row view of her ample female assets. He lingered a bit to enjoy the moment and as he stood up to leave, he allowed her to make herself comfortable in his chair. "Have a seat, Grace. It's still warm."

She ignored him and got down to business.

He put on his coat and as he turned to leave he looked back and said, "Oh, and if you're still here in the morning, I take my coffee with cream and I like those banana muffins they sell in the cafeteria. Try to get there early enough to get a fresh one right out of the oven."

Grace had assumed there would ultimately be a price for her scathing comment, but in a way, she was still glad she had said it. She finished the last chart around 4 a.m. and decided to catch a quick nap in one of the treatment rooms before her ER shift started at 7.

Around noon, Romano was paged to the ER for a consult on a woman who had been in a car accident and come in with a severely crushed femur. Grace was with another patient but it didn't take him long to track her down eventually. She was worried he might have more plans for her after her shift, and the thought of it nearly set off the waterworks. However, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her look stressed. Any punishment he could dole out, she could take.

"Hanson! My, my. Don't we look tired today?"

"It must have been the wild party I went to last night." She glared.

"I didn't see my coffee and muffin waiting for me in my office this morning."

"I gave them to Luka. I thought he was more deserving since he was up all night treating patients. They had several major traumas, you know."

"Well, that's what we pay him the big bucks for."

Grace suddenly felt light-headed. She swayed for a moment and then fell to the floor, hitting her head on an open cupboard before she landed.

"Grace? Grace!" Romano yelled. With no response, the staff immediately jumped into action to revive her. When she came to, she was on a bed in exam 1, hooked up to an EKG, bp cuff and had four staff buzzing around her.

"Grace, you fainted." Romano said.

"What?" She said groggily.

"Do you know where you are?" Carter asked.

"Unfortunately, yeah." She muttered, starting to get up and trying to take off the EKG leads.

"You're not going anywhere until we find out why you passed out." Romano said, actually sounding concerned.

"I'm fine. I don't need all this."

"Her bp is a bit low. Puls/ox is 98." Abby said. "EKG is normal, breath sounds are good bilaterally, pulse is strong." Carter added.

"See I'm fine. Just low blood sugar, that's all. I haven't eaten in a while."

"Has this ever happened before?"

"No. Can I go now, please? Before I die of embarrassment?"

"Let's get a CT, cbc, chem 7, lytes and urine."

"If you come at me with a Foley, Carter, you're a dead man."

"You did lose consciousness, Grace." He reminded her. "And you've got a bit of a nasty cut on your head."

"We need to be thorough, Grace. Can't have you suing us for malpractice. So, any chance you might be pregnant?" Romano demanded.

Grace shot him a look. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm _sure_." She glared.

"You're not seeing anyone?"

"No, not that's it's any of your business!"

Romano's pager went off. One of his patients was taking a turn for the worse in the recovery room. "Carter, let me know when you get the results back on her labs and CT." Romano barked as he left the room.

Carter dressed her wound as the staff dissipated, seeing Grace was out of imminent danger.

"Sorry, Carter."

"For what?"

"For all the drama."

"Hey, we're all just worried about you."

"I'm fine. Besides, I should get back to work before Romano docks me for the rest of my shift."

"I think he feels bad." Carter replied.

"I doubt that man is capable of feeling anything, except maybe a perverse pleasure orchestrating his manipulative little games."

"He seemed genuinely worried about you, Grace."

"Well, good. If I hadn't been up all night working for him, I'm sure I wouldn't have passed out."

"Maybe he wouldn't have felt the need to punish you if you hadn't said what you did?"

"Whose side are you on, Carter?"

"I'm not on a side. There, you're done." He smiled.

Grace finished the last couple of hours of her shift. After receiving the all clear on her labs from Carter, she took a cab home, thankful that the day was finally over.


	5. Elevator Music

**Chapter 5 – Elevator Music**

Grace enjoyed two glorious days off. She slept nearly all of the first day and did some Christmas shopping the day after. Most of her family lived in Detroit, so she needed to get their gifts shipped off before it was too late.

She felt rested and refreshed when she walked back into the hospital for her next shift. Convinced her fainting episode was a one off, she tried to put it out of her mind, and made a mental note to stop skipping meals. She arrived a few minutes early, so she could run upstairs before her shift started.

"Hold the elevator!" Grace yelled just in the nick of time as she saw the door beginning to close. "Thanks," she said as she approached the open door and then noticed Romano was standing inside.

"Going down, Grace?"

"No, up actually."

"Perfect, so am I."

She didn't say anything for a moment as the doors closed and she noticed they were going to the same floor. Suddenly the elevator lurched and she lost her footing, nearly falling down. They both held onto the railing until the elevator came to a full stop.

"I knew I should have taken the stairs." Grace said.

"Perfect!" He yelled. "I have a bowel perforation scheduled in 10 minutes." Romano grabbed the elevator phone and tore a strip off the poor soul on the other end. "So, what brings you up to my neck of the woods, Grace? Eager to do more of my charts?"

"Hardly. I was coming up to see Brenda. She found the earring I lost upstairs the other night."

"You know, if you were looking for an excuse to come back up and see me, you could have left something a little more personal behind in my office." He baited her.

She refused to answer him, and averted her eyes. She stared up at the speaker in the ceiling instead. Nervously fidgeting, she finally broke the silence. "The worst part is having to listen to this god awful elevator muzak."

"And here I thought you'd say it was being stuck in here with me."

"Well, that's already a given." She said, finally looking at him.

"How's your head? Have you had anymore fainting spells?" He said, reaching up to take a look at her wound as she backed away.

"No, I'm fine. But it's your fault I was so tired and dehydrated after being up all night doing your bloody charts."

"Some lessons are more painful to learn than others, Grace."

"Well, maybe, but it was still satisfying telling you to…well, you know. Next time I'll just _think_ it, instead of _saying_ it." She smiled at him.

"Next time? Like right now?"

"Yes, like right now." She grinned.

Romano approached her like a stealthy predator. As she backed up, he took hold of the elevator railing on either side of her, so he was nearly touching her from all angles. "So, Grace. When are you going to stop playing games and admit you want me?"

With a small jolt, the doors suddenly opened to the surgical floor. "Saved by the bell." He said, staring at her for one last moment before rushing off towards the OR. "Enjoy the reset of your day, Gracie."

After retrieving her earring from Brenda, she worked a fairly typical shift in the ER. She was enjoying a coffee and chatting with Luka in the lounge when Romano burst in.

"Hey Igor, Weaver's looking for you. Something about a sexual harassment charge." As Luka left, he shot Grace a supportive glance and instead of rushing away, she stayed seated, drinking her coffee, and continued to flip through a magazine. She refused to be intimidated by him and ignored her first reaction to leave. It was a rare occasion when Romano missed an opportunity at a snide comment and she knew he wasn't really in there for coffee.

"Catching up on the latest issue of Cosmo, Grace? I hear there are a lot of great stories in it about how to please a man."

"No, actually, it's a medical journal. I'm reading about a new study that shows how small-statured men constantly feel the need to antagonize others in a pathetic attempt to make themselves feel adequate. I'm sure you'll find it fascinating." She said, passing the magazine to him, as she stood up from the table. He stood in front of her, trying to make it difficult for her to get past him as she tried to leave. "I know what you're doing." She said, calling him out.

"Funny how you keep turning up wherever I am." He said, his piercing eyes staring straight into hers.

"I think you've got it the other way around." She corrected.

"You mean like a 69?"

Lydia came in for a coffee and Grace took her opportunity to leave. _God this man was infuriating_ she thought and tried to get him out of her head. Much to her chagrin, now all she could think about was the position Dr. Romano had suggested to her for the rest of her shift.

After Grace had left the lounge, Romano glanced at the magazine she had been reading. It was indeed this month's copy of Cosmo, open to an article about the top 10 ways to drive your man crazy in the bedroom. God, how he loved being right all the time.


	6. Surgery is Like

Author's note: I hope this isn't becoming a frustrating read. I have big plans for the next few chapters, so if you can be patient, all will be revealed. Thanks to all those who have taken time to review so far!

**Chapter 6 – Surgery is like…**

Later that week, Grace was called in for a couple of extra shifts on the surgical floor. She had started her career as an OR nurse before moving to Chicago, so they called her in from time to time whenever she was interested in making some extra cash. With Christmas on the way, she was eager to oblige. She was told she would be assisting Dr. Edson, but when she arrived, she found out she had been re-assigned to Dr. Romano.

As she entered the scrub room, she noticed he was already there. "Well, Grace. I knew you wouldn't pass up an opportunity to spend the entire day with me." He said, looking very satisfied with himself.

"You _know_ I was originally scheduled to work with Dale. I wouldn't be surprised if you orchestrated this whole thing." She said indignantly, as she began to scrub in.

"Methinks thou doth protest too much, Grace. You know surgery is like sex. Messy, fun and if done right can be quite satisfying."

After she finished scrubbing in, she felt a bit uneasy as she entered the OR. It had been a long time since she'd assisted in surgery, which only added to her anxiety about working all day with Romano. To her relief, he was pretty much all business inside the OR, although he did seem to ensure he was standing in close proximity to her all day long. She could feel the sexual tension, although she tried to ignore it. Somehow it seemed that each time she was aware of it, he would glance in her direction.

Just when the procedure was nearing an end and she began to breathe an inner sigh of relief, Romano found a way to shine the spotlight on her.

"Something or someone smells incredible in this OR today. Janet, are you wearing a new perfume?"

"No, Dr. Romano."

"Shirley, is it you?"

"No, not me either." She giggled, looking at Grace.

Grace knew her turn was coming. He took great pleasure in singling her out.

"Well then Perry, it must be you." They laughed, as Perry the anesthesiologist looked on shaking his head.

She screwed up the courage and tried to not let him get to her. "It's me, Dr. Romano."

"Well, well. Nurse Hanson. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to seduce me. What's the name of this captivating fragrance you're wearing?"

Grace stammered, feeling flustered. "I'm…I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?"

"It's from Revlon, I think."

"You think or you know?"

God he could be so annoying. "It's called Fire and Ice."

Grinning under his mask, he had once again won the game.

"Hmm, hot and cold. Sounds about right."

Grace rolled her eyes and said nothing, choosing to think things that would only get her in trouble if she spoke them aloud. Luckily for her, he couldn't read her mind.

After they'd finished, she took a shower before heading out. She was going to meet a few of the ER nurses over at Doc Magoo's. As she opened the door to the hall, she was not expecting to see Romano waiting outside and it startled her.

"God, you scared me! What are you doing lurking around the women's locker room?"

"I wanted to catch you before you left. All showered and squeaky clean?" Somehow the way he said it made it sound dirty.

"I take it there's a particular reason you're trying to irritate me? Make it quick, I have plans." She was still ticked off that he'd put her on the spot in the OR.

"I'm sensing a hostile tone in your voice, Grace."

"Well since you're so perceptive, why don't you tell me what I'm more like at the moment, fire or ice?"

He grinned, self-satisfied. "Each one, volatile in its own right."

"You can be such a bastard, you know that?"

"Well I _was_ going to tell you that I was very impressed with your work today. I wondered if you might be interested in working up here permanently? Just say the word and I can make it happen."

"No thanks, I prefer the ER. I'm only doing this for some extra Christmas money."

"Too bad. Well, just let me know anytime you want to pimp yourself out to us, we'd be happy to have you."

"See? That's exactly what I mean. If you weren't so irritating and infuriating to work with…"

"You sound frustrated, Grace. Maybe you just need to release all the tension that's pent up inside you?" He stared at her, longingly.

It was taking every ounce of self restraint not to strangle him right then and there. "If I change my mind about working in the OR, you'll be the first to know." She said. "By the way, seeing as you're the one responsible for the ER schedule at the moment, I'd like to know when you're going to stop punishing me and put me back on regular shifts."

"In the ER? There's no such thing. Why would I be punishing you?"

"You _know_ why. Until recently I actually had a life, but since a certain nurse said something to a certain Chief of Staff, I've been getting the most obscene shifts imaginable."

"Well, that is unfortunate. Perhaps another reason you should consider my offer to work up here exclusively?"

Deciding to take the game to the next level, Grace tried a different approach. Maybe the best defense was a good offense. She moved in close to him, and softened her stare.

"Now that you mention it, it has been a while since I've allowed myself the pleasure of a satisfying release." She reached over and traced his jaw line with her finger and leaned in close, as though she was about to kiss him. She then turned her head at the last minute to whisper in his ear. "Not a chance." She knew she had turned him completely inside out and as she walked away down the hall, she smiled knowing she had finally won a round with Romano.


	7. The Sins of the Past

**Chapter 7 – The Sins of the Past**

Grace was still thinking about her afternoon with Romano as she arrived at Doc Magoo's and how what she really wanted was a vodka, not a cup of coffee. Abby, Chuny and Susan were already there when she arrived.

"Sorry I'm late, girls."

"Complications with the procedure?" Abby asked.

"No, with Romano."

"I thought you were assisting Dale?"

"I was, until Romano changed the schedule. Arrogant bastard. I swear he has it in for me."

"My sympathies." Susan said empathetically. "But I actually think he likes you."

"Probably just wants a piece of ass." Chuny blurted out. "I'm sure he never gets any, probably one of the reasons he's always in a bad mood."

Grace shot her a look, "Well he certainly _likes_ driving me crazy. He's impossible to work with."

"Amen to that." Chuny agreed.

"Come on, Grace. Why else would he be spending so much time in the ER lately, especially when you're working? He hates it down there and he's always complaining about how it's a cesspool of humanity." Susan said ignoring Chuny.

"You're serious? He's been making my life difficult for weeks."

"Grace, don't you remember being back in fifth grade, when the boy who liked you the most used to pull your hair and call you names? It's the same thing, only he's a grown man and never learned to play nice with girls."

"I remember that boy. I ended up giving him a black eye." She grinned. "Anyway, let's not ruin our evening talking about him. What have I missed in the ER the past few days?"

"Well, Malucci almost got fired. _Again_." Abby said.

"What was it this time? More of the same?" Grace asked.

"Weaver caught him doing a candy striper in the back of an ambulance." Abby said.

"She told Dr. Feelgood one more indiscretion and he's finished." Susan added and they all laughed.

"He's a complete waste of space! How he ever passed med school I'll never know." Chuny said.

"I can't stand guys like him, reminds me of my ex-husband." Grace said, rolling her eyes.

"I didn't know you were divorced?" Abby commented.

"It's true. He's the main reason I moved here from Detroit. He was a plastic surgeon and they're just the way you imagine them to be, pretty on the outside, shallow on the inside. I can still picture him with his fake, botox smile. Dr. Steven Mancini."

"Wait a minute, I think I've heard of him. You were _married_ to that guy?" Susan said.

"I'm surprised you've heard of him? His practice is in Detroit." Grace replied.

"Well, he's got quite a reputation _outside_ of his practice. I remember hearing about a malpractice suit involving very inappropriate behavior with a few of his patients."

"The problem is, men admire guys like that. They're so busy high-fiving each other for getting laid, they don't give a shit that the loving wife is always the last to know."

Abby nodded sympathetically. "My ex is a real prize too."

Grace smiled supportively. "Oh, it was so humiliating! I came home early one day to find him screwing one of his patients on the living room sofa."

"What a pig." Chuny said.

"Well,_ she_ was the one in need of a good plastic surgeon by the time I was finished with her." After a brief pause, Grace added, "Kidding!" Although they didn't look completely convinced.

"Sometime I'll tell you about how Richard kept me from finishing med school, cheap bastard." Abby added as she got up to leave.

"Yeah, sorry to cut and run, but our break's just about over." Susan said.

"I'm sorry I was late. Next time we'll pick a day when we all have more time."

Just before she left, Susan pulled Grace aside. "Look, it's not like I'm his biggest fan, but I've been here long enough to know the only other person Romano's ever tried so hard to aggravate was Elizabeth Corday. I think she really broke his heart. Just think about it, Grace."

When they got back to County, it was an usually slow night and Susan and Abby were shooting the breeze with Carter and Luka at the admit desk. The topic turned to ex's and after reminiscing about the famous fencing duel between Luka and Carter, Susan and Abby gave them the lowdown on Grace. One thing that never changed in the ER was that there was no such thing as a secret.

"Wow, I didn't know she was divorced." Carter said. "It's too bad, she's really sweet."

"Neither did we, but the guy sounds like the world's biggest jerk." Susan said.

"I think she took it pretty hard. Apparently she walked in on him doing a patient on the sofa." Abby added grimacing.

"Well let's just hope it was scotch guarded." They turned around to see Romano had been lurking nearby and joined into the conversation. "Dr. Lewis. So nice to see you have nothing better to do with your time than gossip with the dynamic duo."

"It's been a slow night." Carter chimed in. "You have to take the time to enjoy it, because it never lasts."

"Probably just the calm before the storm." Abby added.

"Well, I suggest you all find something to do before I decide everybody's replaceable."

* * *

When Grace arrived for her shift the next day, Jerry told her there was a message for her saying that Dr. Romano wanted to see her up in his office. "He said it's important."

She wondered if her actions had landed her in trouble and braced for the next round in the battle. Romano usually recovered quickly and like a wounded animal, could turn just as swiftly on the attack. Arriving at his office, she knocked once and then went right inside.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Close the door. Have a seat."

"What is this about?"

"Please, sit down, Grace."

She sat down slowly as her mind raced.

"Upon careful consideration, I feel the need to apologize for my behavior the other day. I'm concerned it may have affected your decision to consider the position available in the OR."

She was completely caught off guard by his sudden candor.

"I've seen your work, both in the ER and now the OR and I would hate to think my actions have prevented this hospital from having the best staff where they're needed the most. If you reconsider, I can offer to stay out of your way."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch."

"Has something happened?"

"Oh, and starting next week I've put you back on your regular ER shifts."

"So you admit you were messing with me. Why the sudden change in heart?"

"Call it an early Christmas present."

He seemed so different from the Romano she had come to know so well. He was apologetic and his entire demeanor had changed.

"You're scaring me a bit. This isn't like you."

"I recognize that my level of intensity can get out of hand, from time to time."

"I'll say."

"And that sometimes I fall back into bad habits. I'm sure we all carry around old baggage with us, wouldn't you agree, Grace?"

"You mean my lecherous ex-husband…or are we talking about you?"

"Both. Well me, mostly."

"Are you referring to Elizabeth Corday? I've heard a few rumors." She added softly.

He looked at her and tilted his head slightly, just a subtle gesture to let her know she was right. He now seemed suddenly vulnerable. "You finally made me see how much I was getting to you. In the hall, when you leaned in and then turned and walked away, well, it nearly killed me."

"I didn't mean to…"

"Yes, you did. And it took being hit between the eyes to finally make me realize I should never have crossed the line with you. I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made in the past."

"For weeks, every conversation, every encounter has been a turbulent wave of conflict and tension." Grace argued.

"I don't do well with relationships, Grace. Especially with people who I actually like."

"So this wasn't about trying to see how much torment I could withstand before I went completely mad?"

"I am the way I am, Grace. I know most people don't like me. I don't care, I don't like most people. But I care about you, and what you think, and I would hate to drive you away from something that you love and that you're so damn good at."

She now felt guilty and debated whether she should let him off the hook completely. After all, he had seemed to make a sport of making her life difficult, and wondered if this sudden confession was truly sincere. Inwardly, she questioned his ulterior motives and tried to comprehend this complete change in his demeanor. She then thought about what Susan had said to her.

He reached across the desk to gently stroke her cheek, half expecting her to pull back, but she didn't. She looked into his eyes as though she was finally seeing him for the first time.

"I'm sorry, Grace."

Grace closed her eyes for a moment. "I don't know what to say." She said softly as he moved his hand away. She stood up and tried to process everything.

He got up from behind his desk and walked towards her. "Well, telling me you don't find me completely repulsive would be a good start." He said nervously.

She turned back to face him, smiling. "How about annoyingly intriguing?"

"I'll settle for that. At least for now." He looked at her for a moment and then throwing caution to the wind he pounced on the opportunity, as she stood mere inches away from him. He put his arm around her waist and pulled Grace firmly towards him, kissing her. It was a slow, warm, soft kiss that began to make her stir inside, as the kiss deepened.

She was taken off guard by his bold move, although she didn't fight it. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that she hadn't been kissed in a very long time, or because her feelings of irritation towards him had somehow manifested into adrenaline induced excitement.

As he explored her mouth lusciously with his tongue, he pushed her firmly up against his desk. Grace let out a soft moan, which seemed to increase his urgency to taste her soft, white skin. He began kissing her neck, moving up behind her ear. "Mmm, Grace. You smell incredible."

Suddenly realizing that everything was happening too fast, Grace broke free from his embrace. "Wow." Was all she could finally bring herself to say. Inwardly, she was reeling from what had just happened and could barely think straight. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Neither was I. I mean, I didn't plan this. Bringing you up here just to…" He said, trying to catch his breath.

"I know." After a brief moment of silence between them she added, "Well this is a bit awkward. I should probably get going. I'm late for my shift and I'm sure Weaver will be all over me when I get down there."

"I'm sure she will. You're practically irresistible."

As she closed the door behind her, Grace shook her head, mystified at having seen a completely unexpected layer to the notorious Chief of Staff.


	8. Appi Holidays

**Chapter 8 – Appi Holidays**

As luck would have it, Weaver was in the middle of a trauma and didn't notice Grace was late when she arrived in the ER. Still reeling from Romano's kiss, she was quickly swept up in the activity of the ER and had to put it to the back of her mind. It was only a week before Christmas which usually coincided with the ER becoming a chaotic mass of humanity.

A few hours into her shift, she began to feel ill. She was a bit nauseous and was experiencing some abdominal pain which continued to get worse. At first she thought she too had finally succumbed to the ER Christmas flu, but it became so bad that she doubled-over in pain. Carter was nearby and rushed to help her.

"Grace? Are you feeling faint again?"

"No. Abdominal pain." She said wincing. "It's pretty bad."

He soon had her on a gurney and began to examine her. "How long have you had it?"

"On and off for a few hours. It's been a lot worse the past half hour though. I thought at first it was the flu. Oh, God!" She exclaimed, holding her belly.

Carter grabbed Abby and ordered some tests. "Her temp's up." She confirmed.

"Lower, right quadrant pain. Are you nauseous?" Carter asked.

"Yes. Please don't say it, Carter." Grace pleaded.

"Abby let's get a cbc, I want to check her white count. I'd place bets that you'll be spending the night in the OR, Grace."

"Can you scrub in?"

"I don't know. I'll have to call for a consult first, but I'd like to get you up there sooner than later. We don't want it to burst."

A few minutes later Romano showed up for the consult. "Where's the fire, Carter? You people can't leave me alone for five minutes without paging me these days! I'm beginning to think the ER stands for everyone's retarded."

"Grace needs an appendectomy as soon as possible." Carter said seriously.

Romano stared back at him. "Well, let's see if the drugstore cowboy got it right. Where are her labs?" He demanded. He reviewed them and then turned to Grace. "How bad is the pain?"

"It's bad. Like a nine."

"Let's have a look." As he moved his hands onto her abdomen, she flinched.

"Did that hurt, or was it just the thought of me touching you?"

Grace shook her head, "Not you," She whispered as she rolled over in pain.

"That's good enough for me." He said. "I'm taking her up right now."

Just before they put her under, Romano looked down at her and touched her arm. "Don't worry, Grace. You won't feel a thing."

As Grace was slowly coming out of the anesthetic, Romano tried to wake her. "Grace. Grace, it's over. You need to wake up now."

She was mumbling and he couldn't make out what she was saying. He leaned down to try to hear her. Still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and not fully awake, she murmured, "Surgery is like sex…with Romano." As no one else was looking, he bent down and kissed her forehead softly and squeezed her hand. "Get some rest, Grace."

Grace slept through the night fairly well and Romano stopped by first thing the next morning to check on her.

"Still trying every means necessary to get my attention, Grace?"

She smiled and replied, "Well if I'd known _you_ were the only one on who could operate, I would have told them to let it burst."

"I saved it for you. It's in a jar in my office."

"No thanks. I prefer not knowing what I look like on the inside."

"Just as cute as on the outside." He said, giving her a wink. "Do you need any pain meds? We keep all the best drugs up here, you know."

"Motrin will do just fine, but come to think of it, I wouldn't mind some ice cream." She grinned. The thought of him fetching something for her was just too much to pass up.

"Anything else, Princess?"

"Yes." She said and then softened, "Thanks. I'm glad it was you."

During the course of the day, most of the ER staff had stopped by before or after their shift to see how she was doing. When Carter came up, he gave her chart a good going over.

"So, looks like we got you to the OR just in time. Romano noted that they removed your appendix with minutes to spare. Of course I'd never admit it to his face, but you're lucky you had County's best surgeon working on you, Grace."

"Correction, he's the best surgeon in the entire Midwest, or so he would tell you himself."

Carter leaned in a kissed her affectionately on the forehead. "Get better."

"Trolling for patients, Dr. Carter?" Romano said, entering the room.

"Just making sure our girl was in good hands."

"Oh that's rich, coming from a surgical drop out."

"I would have been a _great_ surgeon, if I'd _wanted_ it." He reminded.

"Yeah, well, coulda woulda shoulda Dr. Carter."

"Thank, John." Grace smiled and winked as he was leaving.

"Oh, so now it's John, is it?"

"I like _John_. He's _nice_ to me." Grace smiled.

"Well, I was the one who saved you from almost certain death."

"True. But you had to, you were the only surgeon available and besides, you took the Hippocratic Oath."

"My fingers were crossed." He said, pausing for a moment. "You can call me Robert."

"I guess I can handle that."

"Are you sure?"

"I've handled everything you've thrown at me so far."

"Touché."

"So, Carter mentioned it was a close call in there. He said I was damn lucky you were my surgeon."

"I can assure you luck had absolutely nothing to do with it. You did give us a bit of a scare though. Your bp dropped and we ran into a bit of trouble, so I'd like to run some additional tests."

"Do you think it's anything serious?"

"Let's wait to see if the tests show anything to be concerned about. It could just be your reaction to the anesthetic. You know another half an hour later and I'd have been on my way to the Philharmonic." He said rubbing his eyes.

"Which you gladly passed up because of me?"

"Anything for you, Grace." He smiled.

Grace lay still while Romano examined her incisions. "You look tired, are you okay?" She asked.

He shook his head, "You don't want to know."

"With Anspaugh away it can't be easy, being pulled in so many directions, not to mention all the elective surgeries you're still performing."

"Today was the day from hell, actually. We're already short nurses in the ER, not counting you, I'm dealing with one, maybe two sexual harassment charges against a resident and about half an hour ago a patient jumped out of a 4th storey window. Oh, and the icing on the cake is that Weaver left me swinging in the breeze by taking a last minute vacation."

"Just another typical day."

"Is that supposed to cheer me up?"

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help." She said genuinely.

"You help more than you know." He smiled.

"Don't you go soft on me now, Robert. I'll never be able to recognize you."

He approached her and looked straight into her eyes, "Grace, I will never go soft on you."

"You are completely unbelievable. Here I am, lying incapacitated and helpless, and you still manage to get a shot in."

"Helpless? That's a word I would _never _use to describe you, Grace."

"Well just you remember I can give as good as I get."

"I'm counting on it."

"I saved my jello from lunch. It's all yours if you stay and tell me about the chaos. I'm bored to tears up here."

"No can do Grace, I don't eat sugar."

"That's a lie. I've seen you raiding the vending machines."

"That was until Kerry, the nutrition Nazi, replaced all the candy bars with raisins and rice cakes."

"We keep a stash of junk food in the lounge behind a stack of old medical journals. The trick is staying one step ahead of her."

"The trick might be _not _calling her a bitch. For some reason she seems to take offense to that."

Grace laughed.

"So, I'll need to see you again in a week for a follow-up. Just set it up with Brenda."

"Will do." She said.

"Probably best to have a sponge bath for the next few days, you don't want to get those bandages wet. You'll be sure to let me know if you need any help with that?"

"I'm sure I can manage on my own, thank you."

"You can also thank me for making sure you get paid you for your full shift, even though you weren't able to finish, for obvious reasons."

"You're all heart."

"Let that be our little secret. I'll be back in the morning to sign you out. You need a ride home?"

"Carter offered to drive me."

"Does he have seat warmers?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll just have to take my chances. Look, you don't have to come in on a Saturday just to sign me out. I won't tell if you have one of the residents do it."

"You're my patient, Grace."

"I'll be fine, just make sure it's not Malucci. I should be back to work in a few days, but in case I don't see you before, Merry Christmas, Robert."

"Grace…"

"Dr. Romano, they need you downstairs." Shirley called from the doorway.

He squeezed her hand before leaving her beside. "Merry Christmas to you too, Grace."


	9. Should Old Acquaintance be Forgot

**Chapter 9 – Should Old Acquaintance be Forgot**

It was four days before Christmas when Grace was discharged. By Christmas Eve she was feeling much better and although still not 100%, she agreed to take a shift for another nurse who wanted to be home with her family for Christmas.

To her surprise, the staff had a cake waiting for her, in the shape of an appendix.

"You guys are crazy! Where do you even go to get something like this?" Grace asked.

"Roeser's on North Ave. They'll make anything into a cake." Malik said.

As they were eating cake and celebrating Christmas Eve, someone noticed Grace was standing under the mistletoe. Luka took the opportunity to capitalize, making a big production out of it, and the staff were all cheering and whistling just as Romano walked by.

"If you aren't seeing patients in the next 30 seconds you're all fired!" He bellowed.

As he walked away, murmurs of 'Scrooge' could be heard by all.

Romano stormed back upstairs to his office, angry that he'd lost his composure for purely personal reasons.

"Merry Christmas, Dr. Romano." Brenda offered as she left. "I'll see you after the new year."

He feigned a smile. "You too, Brenda. Enjoy your time off."

He entered his office, shut the door and threw the nearest object at the wall behind his desk. He was angry that Luka had kissed her, and more so because she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. As he replayed the image in his mind, he noticed a wrapped gift on his desk. As much as rule as the fact that he wasn't close enough with anyone to ever exchange gifts, he was indeed intrigued to find out who had left this on his desk.

The gift had a small tag on top which read, "Thanks for taking such good care of me. Happy Holidays, Grace xo."

He closed his eyes and fought back his emotion. In all his time at the hospital, no one had ever given him a gift, except for Brenda, which was more about job security than real sentiment.

He unwrapped the package and sat down, as he opened the box to reveal the gift inside. It was a gold plated stethoscope, engraved Dr. Robert 'Rocket' Romano.

He teared up a little as he took it from the box and laid it around his neck. The anger he'd felt earlier from watching Luka kissing Grace faded away and he held the gift she had chosen for him.

After sitting alone for a while, he decided to go back down to the ER to see if Grace was still there. It was well after midnight, the skeleton staff were thankfully not very busy and for once in a very long while, and the place seemed almost peaceful. With the lights dimmed for the night, Romano found it difficult at first to see Grace, but eventually spied her with a couple of kids who had come in earlier with food poisoning.

"Lousy place to spend the holidays." He whispered.

"Especially for kids. They should be home dreaming about waking up on Christmas morning and seeing all the presents under the tree."

"Well, that'll keep them from dipping into Grandma's homemade eggnog. You're not supposed to be back at work yet, Grace," He said, pulling her aside into a quiet corner.

"Lydia wanted to be home with her grand kids. I couldn't say no. Besides, I'd just be sitting at home in an empty apartment." After a slight pause, she added, "I see you're wearing it."

"It's perfect, thank you." He said softly.

"I feel bad about some of the things I've said to you, especially in light of the fact that you took such good care of me." She smiled. "Maybe I should come with a time delay so I can censor myself before I speak."

"You say what you think, Grace. Don't apologize for that. This world is already full of too many politically correct, bleeding hearts."

She smiled. "Well, I'm glad you like it." She turned to walk back to the kids.

"Grace," He held her back a moment. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. "Merry Christmas." He then pulled her in close for a more sensual kiss.

"Robert, we can't."

"No one can see us."

"Everyone can see us. They just aren't looking this way."

"Or maybe you're worried that Kovac might walk by?" He stood back with his arms crossed, looking upset.

"Oh you can't be serious? We were standing under the mistletoe, it's just a silly tradition."

"One you sure seemed to enjoy."

"You're being ridiculous. It was just a spur of the moment thing. It's not worth you getting all worked up about."

"Did it get you all worked up?"

"For God sakes, Robert. Just because I let you kiss me the other day doesn't mean…"

"Oh, you _let_ me kiss you? Well, you sure didn't give the slightest hint that you weren't enjoying it, Grace. In fact I seem to recall you moaning at one point."

"Please keep your voice down. You know, this is just like you to over react and turn something irrelevant into an argument. I hope you enjoy your gift, I've got to go check Mr. McBride's IV." Grace walked away quickly to attend to her patient. Even though she'd found a small chink in his thick exterior, he was still inherently exasperating. She was kept busy by patients for the next few hours and by the time she looked up at the clock it was nearly time to go home.

"Hey Grace, you want to get some breakfast?" Luka offered.

"Are you buying?" She said hopefully.

"Depends. How hungry are you?"

"After jello and ice cream for a few days I'm feeling pretty ravenous."

"Well, seeing as it's Christmas." He smiled.

They went across to Doc Magoo's with several others, most of whom were single and avoiding the inevitability of going home alone. Finally, just Susan and Grace were left finishing a cup of coffee.

"So, is Romano still driving you crazy?" Susan asked.

"Not exactly. Well, kind of."

"I heard he stayed by your bedside for quite a while after your surgery."

"Probably worried I might sue him for malpractice." Grace sniped.

"Shirley said he was doting on you, bringing you ice cream…"

"Shirley likes to gossip, Susan."

"Come on, Grace. There's something going on that you're not telling me."

"He kissed me." Grace confided.

"Get out of here!" Susan said. "See, I told you."

"Well, it was a bit of a shock. He called me up to his office to apologize for his behavior and then, well, the next thing I knew…But, in true Romano form, he's being a complete ass after he saw Luka kissing me under the mistletoe."

"He's jealous. I think that's kind of sweet."

"I don't know what to think. God, Susan. I wasn't really expecting this."

"Well, they say there's someone for everyone. Give the guy a break, Grace. It's Christmas." She said as they stood up to leave.

"Well, I'm going to give my car one more try before heading for the EL. Thanks for the chat, Susan."

"Anytime." She said smiling. "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, you to."

* * *

Grace walked to the parkade to see if there was any life left in her car, although it had now been sitting for couple of weeks. After half an hour and a few close calls, she finally gave up. She did feel bad the way she'd left things with Romano and decided to take a chance that he might still be in his office. She ran back to Magoo's to pick him up something to eat. He hadn't mentioned any holiday plans and to her knowledge he didn't have any family in town.

She knocked but there was no answer.

She knocked again. "Anyone home? It's Santa's little helper." She called out. After a moment or two, she turned and started walking away when his door opened. "So you are here. Screening your visitors?"

"Technically, I'm not here. If they find out downstairs they'll be paging me all day long. What's up?"

"Can I come in? I brought you some Christmas cheer." She said, holding up the brown bag from the restaurant.

He looked at her for a moment, and as he considered it, he looked down at his watch. "Did you just finish your shift?"

"No we were over at Doc Magoo's."

"We?"

"A bunch of us. Yes, Luka was there too. Are you going to let me in or was coming here a complete waste of my time?"

He opened the door and let her in.

"Wow, looks like you're planning to be here for the long haul?"

"I could stay all week and never get caught up."

"Aren't there any med students that can do some of the scut work?"

"The new victims don't start until January. We're still short a surgeon and Anspaugh won't be back until the New Year."

"But it's Christmas. You can't work up here all day by yourself."

"It's just another day, Grace."

"I had a feeling you might be up here all alone. It's not much but you have to eat." She said handing him the bag with a turkey sandwich inside.

"You can be very persuasive when you want to be."

"That's because you know I'm right."

"But _I'm_ always right."

"That's just the over-inflated Rocket Romano ego talking." She said, smiling.

He took the bag and placed it on his desk. "Come here." He said, pulling her towards him as he leaned back against his desk. He pulled her towards him and kissed her passionately.

"Mm, Robert." She said. "My incisions."

"Sorry, I forgot. You look so tempting."

"In my scrubs? You've got to be kidding?"

He kissed her again, but was more careful this time. "You could be wearing a biohazard suit and I'd still want to jump you."

He plunged his lips against hers, kissing her firmly and seductively. They began to devour each other and Romano's body began to betray him almost immediately. He carefully moved his hands up inside her scrub top, avoiding her incisions by caressing her back. His hands made their way around to her breasts, and he firmly squeezed them, as she let out a soft moan. She loved the feeling of his hands all over her body and every touch, every sensation, seemed to increase her desire for him.

She could feel his arousal growing, and his body pressing firmly against her excited her immensely. She slid her hands up inside his scrubs to explore his chest, inch by inch.

He pushed up her bra and wasted no time rolling her nipple into a stiff peak as he kissed her hungrily.

"Oh, God." She gasped.

With heavy breathing in between wet, electrifying kisses, Grace nearly forgot where she was as she began to feel completely swept away. Romano was suddenly aware that it had been ages since he had longed for a woman like this.

Instinctively, Grace pushed her hips into his and then reached down between his legs. She grabbed him firmly, and it was his turn to let out a moan. "Jesus, Grace." He whispered.

As he kissed her neck, Grace began to remove his scrub top, but Romano stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Grace, hold on."

"What?" She said, trying to catch her breath.

"We can't. You have to avoid strenuous activity for two weeks post-op."

"Says who?"

"Your surgeon."

"He probably doesn't know what he's taking about. If memory serves, he has a very large ego and sometimes he talks just to enjoy the sound of his own voice."

Ignoring her frustrated tone he added, "It's been a week since you had it out, so it's only a few more days." He said, pulling her back in for another soft, wet kiss.

"I almost think you're enjoying teasing me."

"You think I enjoy this frustration? It's hard to believe _I'm_ the voice of reason here."

"It is hard to believe. Well, at least it's hard." She said, giving his package a firm squeeze.

"In case you hadn't noticed, patience isn't something I'm very good at."

"Patience? You're preaching to the choir. You have no idea how long I've been…by myself." She looked at him pleadingly. She pulled him close and kissed him eagerly. She boldly ran her hands down inside his scrub pants, finally having free reign to feel him with her bare hands.

"Grace, you're killing me. It's all I can do right now not to knock everything off this desk, throw you onto it and screw your brains out."

"That may be the best idea you've had all day. And by the way, you are an unbelievable kisser."

"Better than Kovac?"

"Let it go, Robert. I'm not with Luka, I'm right here, and," she whispered into his ear, "I'm about to do very naughty things to you."

"Okay, that's enough, Grace. I can't take this." He said, moving away from her.

"You're serious?"

"You know I have no choice, Grace. We can't take the risk."

She knew he was right. "All right. You win."

He laughed sarcastically. "Somehow it doesn't feel like a victory."

"We'll just have to try to think about something else, that's all."

"Well that's easier said than done." He said, adjusting himself. He turned away from her, closed his eyes and tried to get her out of his head, if only for a moment.

She turned to look out the window, watching the snow fall. "You know, a year ago, I never would have imagined spending Christmas in Chicago. Last year at this time, I was sitting home with Steven, in our lavish condo without a care in the world."

"Do you miss him?"

"No. You probably think I'm lying, but I really don't. Not after what he did. It seems like a hundred years ago now, but I've moved on. I'm not one of those women who needs to be with someone, to feel complete and secure. All in all, he might have done me a favor. I've been on my own before and I really don't mind living alone, most of the time."

"I can understand that."

"Well, except when I'm forced to kill a spider. That's when I really miss having a man around." She smiled.

"So you do have a weakness."

"Sad but true. Spiders and surgeons." She said, winking at him.

He smiled back at her. "Is your family all back in Detroit?"

"Yeah. I do miss them, but, they can be very intense and after things were over with Steve, I just needed to get away from everyone and start fresh. I take it you've never been married."

"You know how insane the hours are. It makes it impossible to stay with anyone for long."

"That's why there are so many hospital romances, especially doctors and nurses." She smiled. "We're the only ones crazy enough to go down that road with each other. So, have you had many relationships here at County? "

He was suddenly quiet. "No."

"What about you and Elizabeth? I heard you were…"

"No we weren't." His entire demeanor changed and Grace could feel the chill begin to fill the room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dredge up painful memories."

"You didn't. But," He said, looking down at his watch, "I really need to get back to work. If that's even possible after you got me all hot and bothered."

"For now I guess it will just have to be a preview of things to come. Don't stay up here all day."

"That sounds like genuine concern for my well being."

"Don't get used to it. I'm just swept up in some of the holiday spirit."

He walked her to the door and kissed her softly one last time before she left.

Grace took the EL home but couldn't stop thinking about Romano's reaction to her question about Elizabeth. She knew she'd hit a raw nerve and was now more intrigued than ever to know what had really gone on between them. She made her way upstairs to her apartment and poured herself a glass of wine.

"Merry Christmas, Grace." She said, toasting herself.

She did her duty and called her family back in Detroit to wish them all a Merry Christmas. She was glad in a that she was able to hear their voices and spend a few moments talking to them all. But honestly, she was relieved not to be there, fielding questions about her love life or how sorry they were that she was alone. She was happy with her life and the direction it was going.

Pouring herself another glass of Château Calon-Ségur, she spent the evening watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ until she fell asleep on the couch.


	10. Getting to Know You

**Chapter 10 – Getting to Know You**

With Christmas over, it was back to work as usual. This included Romano's glimpse of humanity retreating back into the dark hole from which it had made a brief, but heartfelt appearance.

He and Weaver seemed to be butting heads on everything, from staffing to budgets to you name it and everyone thought it best to keep a low profile to avoid being the recipient of his ill temper.

Grace hadn't seen him for days. She thought he was deliberately avoiding her, either because of the post-op waiting period, or because she had reminded him about Elizabeth. She decided to back off and give him some space and figured when he was ready to talk he would, or not. You never really knew with Romano. She decided against booking her follow up appointment with him, and asked Carter to do it while they were on a shift.

"Romano should be doing this, Grace."

"Please, John? I don't want to go up there. Everyone knows he's been in a foul mood this week."

"And how is that different from any other?"

"Come on, Carter. I'm know everything's healing fine, but I'd like you to take a quick look. I trust you."

"Okay fine, but don't let Romano know. I don't need to go looking for ways to piss him off."

The pair were just coming out of an exam room as Romano walked by. They both had a guilty look on their faces as they walked away in separate directions. Romano pulled Grace aside after Carter walked away.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?"

"Not really."

"Consultation about a patient?"

"No. Never mind, it was nothing. So, you must have been busy this week? I haven't seen you around."

"We've been inundated with surgical patients. You'd never know it was Christmas with all the stabbings and GSWs, and I'm still up to my ass in charts.

"Well at least it's not a very tall pile." She joked.

"Enough to keep a nurse busy for a week." He countered.

"Well, just think. In a few days you'll have a fresh batch of young, over anxious students who'll be more than happy to do your bidding." She said.

"Actually, Weaver has a new intern who seems desperate to help with research."

"Poor bastard. I'm sure you'll find a way to keep him occupied. God knows it was the most exciting night of my life, up in your office, compiling surgical data." She said embellishing. "By the way, you have cookies in your desk that expired over a year ago."

"You went through my things? That's an invasion of privacy, Grace."

"Hey, you left me up there all night and I got bored. Don't worry, I didn't touch your rocket and besides, there wasn't anything very exciting in your desk."

"So you didn't find the blindfold and handcuffs?"

"Well if you'd stayed to help me with the charts, maybe we could've had some fun with those."

"If I'd stayed, you would have slapped me."

"I almost did anyway. Oh, and by the way. The condoms in the middle drawer expired two years ago." As soon as she said it, she regretted it, seeing the look on his face. "I'm sorry. I couldn't resist." She looked at her watch, "Well, my break's over. I'd better go."

"So you were on a break? With Carter, in the exam room?"

"Let it go, Robert. Carter's just a friend. It's nothing salacious I can assure you, but if you must know, I asked him to do my post-surgical follow-up."

"You were supposed to book that with me."

"Well, like you said, you've been busy. Besides, everything's fine, it's no big deal. Look, you've been unavailable for days, ever since I mentioned Elizabeth…"

He turned away.

"See? Exactly. It's okay for you to question me about Luka or Carter, or my ex."

Susan yelled from down the hall, "Dr. Romano, Grace, we need you. There's a trauma coming in, two minutes out. Multiple GSWs."

"I'll be right there, Susan. Look if you're expecting anything to happen between us, you can't just shut down whenever you it suits you." He looked at her but remained silent. "Or, on second thought, do whatever you want. You usually do anyway. Talk to me, don't talk to me. I don't need this to be so complicated that I need a crystal ball to figure out what mood you're in from moment to moment."

The paramedics brought in multiple GSW victims involving a young woman and her six year old daughter. From what the paramedics had told them, the father had tried to pull off a double murder suicide, except his neighbor had intercepted before he could finish the job. The staff raced to stabilize the mother and daughter, and both were rushed up to the OR.

A couple of hours later, Grace went upstairs to check on their status. It was tearing her up inside to think of the little girl, the same age as her niece, fighting for her life at the hands of her own father.

She was standing over the little girl, watching her in recovery after checking with the nurse on duty about her status. Suddenly overcome with emotion, Grace began to weep and she had to sit down to try to compose herself. After a few minutes, she felt hands around her shoulders.

"Hey. What's all this? She's going to be fine. The bullet missed her heart completely and there was very little damage. She was lucky." Romano whispered.

"Lucky? Her father just tried to murder her and her mother!" Grace said angrily.

"You know what I mean, Grace. Where is all this coming from?" He said softly, as he sat down beside her.

"My niece is six. It just makes me so angry to see something like this happen to an innocent child."

"And our job is to treat them as best we can. We did a good thing here, we saved them both."

"Doesn't it make you wonder? I mean, what's it all for if little girls can be shot by their parents or get leukemia or…"

"Or a brain tumor." He said.

"What?"

"A brain tumor. That's what killed Mark Greene. He was one of our best ER physicians and, now he's gone."

"I've heard some of the staff talk about him. I'm so sorry I never got the chance to meet him."

"He was 38. With a teenage daughter, a baby daughter, and a wife. Elizabeth was his wife." Now it was Grace's turn to be quiet and just listen. "She loved him, so much, but it didn't matter, because he just died anyway. He walked the halls here for years, doing his job, helping people, never knowing he was slowly dying. And with all the wonders of modern medicine, there was nothing they could do for him in the end."

"How devastating. I can't imagine how she found the strength to go on after that."

"Ella, their daughter. She was the light Lizzie needed to keep her going, day after day. But they moved back to England. It was too hard for her to work here, and live here. Too many memories."

Grace took hold of his hands. "Robert, I'm so, so sorry."

"Grace, Lizzie and I were never really anything, by her choice. Not that I didn't try, but she never returned my feelings."

"But you were in love with her?"

He nodded.

"Just because you weren't intimate doesn't mean it hurts any less to have your heart broken."

He turned and kissed Grace, softly on the lips. "I don't think about her anymore, Grace. I've moved on, I had to."

"I have too. Well, I'm trying, although sometimes it's harder than I thought. When you trust someone, so implicitly, with everything down to the very depths of your soul and they betray you, it's hard to take that chance again."

They stood up and Grace stroked the little girl's hand. As they walked out into the hallway, Romano asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I will."

"I know it's been a crazy week around here, but I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Yes?"

"There's a New Year's Eve benefit for the hospital tomorrow night. Are you interested in going?"

"Free drinks?"

"Of course."

"Then I guess you've got yourself a date."

"I'll pick you up after work. You off at 7?"

Grace nodded. "Yeah, but I'll have to go home and change first."

"Fine, I'll pick you up at 8, Gracie."


	11. No Turning Back

Author's note: I'm sorry for the delay, but 'tis the season of life being extremely busy! I didn't want to leave everyone hanging and frustrated by only posting one chapter this time, so I've included chapter 11 & 12. I've also done this because I'm leaving in a few days for a Caribbean Christmas holiday and might not be able to post again until the New Year. Maybe a taste of island paradise will inspire me for future chapters! Until then, I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and the best 2009 has to offer!

**Chapter 11 – No Turning Back **

With her car still showing no signs of life, Grace arranged for it to be towed to a mechanic, which meant she was relegated to taking the EL. However, with Abby arriving late to relieve Grace, she didn't want to chance the EL and took a cab home instead. She immediately jumped in the shower and in record time, had done her hair and makeup, just as she heard the doorbell ring. Still wearing a towel and not quite sure what dress to wear, she jumped when she heard the bell.

"Son of a bitch!" She yelled.

Romano, listening on her side of the door responded. "I know that's your favorite reaction whenever you hear my voice."

"No, I'm just not ready. I was late getting home." She yelled through the door.

"I can wait."

"Hold on a moment. I'm not dressed, I'm still in a towel." Romano closed his eyes and imagined for a moment. _Perfect timing,_ he thought.

When she finally opened the door, she was wearing a bathrobe.

"And here you got my hopes up to see you dressed in nothing but a towel."

"I'm still deciding what to wear. I'll be right back. It'll just take a few minutes."

"Take your time." He said, as he looked around the apartment.

"Oh, there's a bottle of wine on the table, if you want a drink." She yelled from the bedroom.

Noticing it was very good wine, he obliged by opening the bottle and pouring himself a glass.

After a few minutes, he added, "You've got good taste in wine, Grace. How are you making out in there?"

"See for yourself," she said, walking into the living room. Flying by the seat of her pants, Grace had impressed herself at how quickly she'd pulled it all together. She finally decided on a simple, but stunning black, strapless designer dress that her ex had given to her, just before they split. It was cut short which helped to show off her toned legs, and along with wickedly high heels, she knew by Romano's face she had outdone herself.

"Wow, speechless? I never thought I'd live to see the day."

"You look…beautiful, Grace." He said seriously, and took his time drinking in how lovely she looked.

"Well, after seeing you decked out in your tux, I knew I had to pull out the big guns." She smiled.

Seeing her standing there, her eyes sparkling, Romano couldn't help himself and leaned over to kiss her almost immediately. She was excited by the fact that he knew what he wanted and just seemed to take it. It had been a long time since she'd been with anyone and she was soon feeling swept away by Romano's passion. He slid his hand up the inside of her thigh as he devoured her with his wet, hot kisses.

"You know if I wasn't the Chief of Staff I would blow this thing off and have you out of that dress in record time."

"Someone sounds awfully sure of himself."

"This from the woman who had her hands down my scrub pants a few days ago?"

"True, but you shouldn't assume you won't have to work for it." She grinned.

"I thought you were past playing hard to get."

"Well I resisted playing your games, Robert."

"But only for so long. I think you enjoyed being pursued. Come on, Grace. Admit it."

"Your persistence paid off. I'll give you that. But for now, we'll just have to use a bit of self-restraint until later."

"I used it all up when you stopped by my office on Christmas Day. I hardly got any work done after you left."

"I couldn't seem to get you out of my head either." She confessed.

"That wasn't exactly the part of me you had the strongest effect on, Grace." He admitted.

"Yes, I remember." She grinned. "I'll get my coat."

He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a long, black jewelry box.

"I didn't have time to get you anything at Christmas." He said as he handed it to her.

Surprised, Grace took the box from him, opening it to reveal a gorgeous diamond tennis bracelet. "Oh, Robert. I can't! This is much too expensive."

Ignoring her comment, he replied. "Let me help you put it on."

"It's so beautiful, but it's really too much!" She protested, as she gazed upon the stunning gift.

"Too late. It looks perfect on you."

She leaned in and kissed him gently, stroking his cheek with her hand. "You shouldn't have done this, Robert. It's too extravagant." _And much too soon_, she thought.

"But you do like it, don't you?"

"Of course. It's just so unexpected, and saving me from a burst appendix was really all I needed for Christmas." She said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well I did offer it to you after surgery, but you didn't want it, so I had to get you this instead."

"You seem determined."

"Have you ever known me to change my mind?"

"That doesn't mean it can't be done. Besides, I like a challenge."

"Ever the eternal optimist." He said as they left her apartment.

Grace was a little nervous as they arrived at the gala. It suddenly seemed like a very public place to have a first date, so she asked him to get her a drink as soon as they arrived, hoping it would take the edge off her jitters. While he was at the bar, Grace ran into Carter and Susan.

"Thank God, a couple of familiar faces."She said with relief. "But I didn't know you two were…"

"We aren't." Carter smiled. "Susan was the only one as pathetic as me with no date on New Year's Eve."

"You look fantastic, Grace. That's some dress." Susan commented.

Carter nodded in agreement, a little too emphatically and Susan gave him a swat.

"Thanks. One of the last gifts I received from my ex. I think he got it from one of the fashion designers he did a look of work on."

"And your bracelet is stunning." Susan added, looking at it closely. "Don't tell me those are real diamonds?"

"Yes they are." Grace said humbly.

"Well I'm glad you got something nice from your divorce settlement."

"Actually this isn't from Steven. It was a Christmas present." She whispered to Susan and she just looked back at her inquisitively but didn't say anything.

"So are you here alone, Grace?" Carter asked.

She hesitated before answering. She hadn't thought they would run into anyone from the ER and wasn't quite sure how to address her new situation with Romano.

"No. I'm here on a date." She said, stalling and fidgeting, as Susan gave her a supportive smile.

"Do we have to guess or are you going to let us in on the big secret? I bet it's Luka. That was some kiss you two had on Christmas Eve." He grinned. Carter saw Romano walking towards them and he added, "Oh great. Don't look now, but here comes a sure fire way to ruin a great party."

"Susan, Carter." Romano said as he passed Grace her drink. "I didn't expect to see you two here. I hope someone's minding the store." Grace smiled at Carter nervously.

Carter, completely stunned was searching for words. "Uh, uh, well, the uh, Carter Family Foundation always supports this event every year." He turned to look at Susan who didn't share the same stunned look.

"Well, I hope that's just ginger ale. I'd hate to see you end up back in rehab, Dr. Carter." He said and then began to lead Grace away.

"Nice running into you. I'll talk to you later." Grace whispered.

"Okay, what the hell just happened and why are you not picking your jaw up off the floor like I am?" Carter said to Susan.

"I guess they're seeing each other."

"So, when did this happen and why didn't you let me in on it?"

"I wasn't even sure anything would happen. Look Carter, Grace has confided in me about a few things where Romano's concerned. All I can say is that they both seem to be drawn to one another. They both have pretty volatile personalities at times. Maybe they'll be good for each other?"

"I think you're completely nuts. Grace is, well, _nothing_ like Romano. And I know first hand that he's been driving her crazy for weeks. She can't stand him."

"I think she can hold her own. Besides, you know what they say, there's a fine line between love and hate."

Grace's initial trepidation subsided and she was enjoying the evening, not having had a real night out in ages. It felt a bit decadent to be out with Chicago's elite, and not since being married had she socialized in these types of circles.

Romano was finding it nearly impossible to pay attention to anyone or anything. All he could think about was Grace and all the things he wanted to do to her once he had her alone. She had turned on a switch inside him and it was all he could do to keeps his internal stirrings to a minimum.

As the countdown to midnight began, Romano pulled Grace out onto the balcony, just off the main ballroom. It was unseasonably warm for Chicago with only a slight breeze. "I want you all to myself at midnight." He confessed. As the New Year rang in, Romano pulled her close and passionately embraced her. She was in no rush to have the moment end anytime soon and surprisingly, it was Romano who came up for air first.

Breathing heavily, he said. "I'm having a hard time controlling myself, Grace."

"Maybe it's a lucky thing we're out in public."

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"Won't it be rude to leave right after midnight?"

"We've put in an appearance. I don't think anyone will notice if we leave."

Grace nodded in agreement and they left. The ride back to her apartment was quiet, with Romano looking over at her frequently and smiling.

"What is it?" She finally asked.

"You." He said simply.


	12. A Night to Remember

Author's note: Okay, here goes. It was a bit difficult trying to keep the Rocket in character in this chapter, so hopefully it works for everyone. Feedback is always appreciated!

Warning – Sexual Content

**Chapter 12 –A Night to Remember**

As they walked up the stairs to her apartment, Grace tried to hide a yawn.

"Well that's encouraging." He said sarcastically.

"Sorry, it's been a long day. I'll probably turn back into a pumpkin any minute now."

"Impossible. You're completely breathtaking, Gracie."

Arriving at door she stopped and commented, "How come I've never been to your place? Are you hiding some terrible secret?"

"You've heard the rumors. I'm an inhuman creature with no soul that ventures out of his hidden lair only to wreak havoc on the staff of Country General."

"I'm serious, Robert."

"Are you stalling?"

"No, just thinking."

"No thinking. Just lusting, and kissing, and touching, and…" He trailed off as he kissed her, pushing her into the apartment. He tossed his jacket and tie onto her couch and began to unbutton his shirt almost immediately. "Now, let's get you out of that dress."

"You seemed to like it earlier? It was a gift from Steven."

"Oh yeah? Then let's burn it. I'll buy you a new one."

She took his hand and led him into her bedroom.

"Mmm. Nice. Thank God it's not covered in pink pillows and flowers."

"Did you really think my bedroom would look like that?"

"I don't know. I've imagined you in bed so many times, but my fantasies usually centered around the fact you were naked, not the color of the sheets."

"You talk too much." She said, silencing him with a sensual kiss.

Finally, they were alone, with no interruptions, no distractions and no reason to not to give in to their hidden desires. As he kissed her hungrily, he wasted no time unzipping her dress. As it fell to the floor, he was rewarded with a tempting sight, as she stood before him in a black strapless bra and panties, stockings and heels.

He could feel himself get hard instantly as he pulled her roughly towards him, grabbing her breast. "I hope you don't work tomorrow. I may not let you leave this bedroom for at least a week."

"I work at 3. I guess we'll just have to make good use of our time." She said, kissing him hard as she thrust her tongue into his mouth.

His hands explored her body and took firm hold of her nearly perfect ass, holding her tightly against his hips. She grinned slightly, feeling him pressing against her, knowing the effect she had on him. As he continued to kiss her wantonly, he moved her against the wall and held her wrists up above her head, as she moaned softly. She tried to move, so she could help him remove the rest of his clothes, but he pushed back and held her firmly, which seemed to excite her even more.

He spun her around, so she was facing the wall. He relieved himself of his remaining clothes and pushed himself against her, breathing softly into her ear. "I want you, so much, Grace." He kissed the back of her neck and then snaked his arm around her waist, stopping briefly before making his way towards her warm, inner core.

"Oh, God!" She responded.

He pressed himself firmly against her as he removed her bra, giving him free access to her ample breasts. He turned her back around to face him and she continued to devour him with her mouth. She grabbed him firmly as she could feel herself becoming more and more desperate to have every inch of him.

"If you're having any second thoughts you'd better say so, Grace. I'm nearly at the point of no return."

Staring longingly into his eyes, she led him over to the bed, pulling him down on top of her. "I want this just as much as you do, Robert."

"Jesus, Grace. You're so beautiful." He said before plunging his hot mouth onto her breast. Her breath hitched in her throat as he traced her nipple with his soft, warm tongue.

He reached down and tore off her panties, and Grace felt a delicious sensation rush over her with every touch, every caress and she could barely contain her anticipation.

As they lay naked and warm, pressed against each other, they began to consume one another as though they would never get another chance. They kissed, as though they would never be satisfied. They were consumed with each other and her passion was urging him to continue on, anxious to pleasure her in every way imaginable. He yearned to taste every inch of her, until she cried out his name with uninhibited, carnal lust.

He was skilful in ways she could only have imagined, and she was overcome with waves of pure ecstasy as her body was helpless to resist his intense appetite for her. As they both gave into their need for sexual gratification, they moved together sensually, desperate to hold onto the moment with all its unwavering intensity.

With their needs finally fulfilled for the moment, he lay beside her, breathless and spent. "You're amazing, Grace. Sorry, I just had to say it."

She grinned, "That was very yummy."

He laughed. "That's something a woman's never said to me before."

"Maybe you've never been with the right woman."

"You're so beautiful, so wonderful."

"I'm not! I'm difficult and stubborn and I leave the lid off the toothpaste." She laughed.

Romano was suddenly serious. "I don't deserve you."

"We both deserve to be happy. Right at this moment, I'm euphoric. I feel like I've died and gone to heaven."

"Heaven? Don't you realize what you're getting into, hooking up with the devil?"

"I know that's not who you are."

"People will talk, they'll think you're completely nuts."

"Are you trying to blow me off?"

"I already did that, Gracie." He grinned. "Seriously? I just want you to know what you're in for. If we continue, this…"

"This? As in, dating?"

"As in, I'm falling head over heals for you and if you have any doubts about us, run, don't walk from me as fast as you can."

"Robert, I don't want to go anywhere. I'm happy exactly where I am, here with you." Before he could speak again, she silenced him by kissing him, full and passionately. They continued long into the night until neither one of them had the strength to do anything but sleep. As he rolled over the final time, Romano just lay there, looking over at Grace and wondering what he had ever done to be so lucky.


	13. Moving Forward

Warning – Sexual Content

**Chapter 13 – No Going Back**

Grace was the first to wake the next morning. Romano was lying with his chest to her back, still holding her in his arms. She smiled even before she was fully awake, recalling the events of the previous evening. She decided to slip out quietly and take a shower and was enjoying her first cup of coffee when he emerged from her bedroom.

"You're an early riser, considering you should be completely spent from recent physical activities."

She smiled, "Well, what can I say? I guess I have a lot of stamina."

He closed his eyes for a moment and grinned. "That's the understatement of the year."

"You managed to keep up pretty well."

"Gee, thanks."

"I made coffee but I'm afraid I'm not much of a cook. My ex insisted on having a personal chef and I kind of got out of the habit of cooking, especially now that it's just me."

"I can go pick us up something. What do you want?" He said as he took her in his arms and kissed her.

"I'm fine, I'm really not hungry."

"Well, I'm feeling rather ravenous."

She smiled. "Really, and what exactly did you have in mind?"

"Let me show you." He pulled her close and snaked his arms inside her bathrobe. With little effort, it fell to the floor and she shivered slightly as the cool air brushed over her.

"Ooh, it's cold."

"I have a cure for that." He said, kissing her desperately as his hands eagerly traced over the contours of her soft skin. The mere touch of his hands engulfed her in waves of warm, sensual pleasure, and awakened all her senses.

"Mmm. I like they way you think, Romano."

"God, I _love _it when you call me by my last name."

"You know what they call you in the ER don't you?"

"Spare me. They're just jealous of my amazing skill and devastatingly good looks."

"So, Dr. Romano, what's your prognosis for my condition? Any ideas on the best way for me to boost my body temperature?" She said, as she held onto him tightly.

"I think you're going to need a complete examination, Miss Hanson. One that involves a thorough going over, inch by inch. It could take hours."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him urgently. The intensity of her kiss revealed a burning desire to once again feel swept away by his unwavering desire. He picked her up, and as she held on with her legs wrapped tightly around him, he carried her back to the bedroom.

"Take me now, Robert." She begged seductively.

Before actually making it back to the scene of the crime, Romano pushed Grace up against the wall and thrust himself deep inside her, both of them unable to wait another moment before being consumed by their insatiable appetite.

"Oh, God! You feel so good inside me," She confessed. She was more than ready for another round with him and as she moved her hips in perfect rhythm with his, she drove him near the edge. He carried her back over to the bed and took immense pleasure in teasing her until neither one could hold back any longer.

They spent the next hour enjoying each other until Grace finally broke the moment. "Robert, I have to work at 3. At this rate, I'll be completely useless. I'm such an idiot for not changing shifts."

"You could call in sick."

"On New Year's Day? Weaver's already threatened us in advance."

"Well in a way, you are in need of medical attention. It could be detrimental to your physical well being if you do not receive an immediate examination of your entire anatomy." He said as he began to devour her neck with gentle kisses.

"I'm sure that would go over well with Weaver. _'Sorry, Kerry, but I won't make it in today because I'm desperately horny and the only course of treatment is an immediate orgasm'_."

"Well, it wouldn't just be one. You really shouldn't underestimate your potential, Grace."

"You do seem to find new ways to take me to unbelievable levels of satisfaction." She kissed him softly, allowing her mouth to tug gently on his bottom lip as she released him, "but…we both know I have to go in, Robert. Can you give me a ride? I'm still using the EL until my car's fixed."

"You seem to have gotten over your resistance to accepting rides from me."

"Well, now that I know you're all bark."

"I do bite, Gracie." He said, huskily, nibbling on her ear.

She picked up his keys from the table, "How about letting me drive? I've always wanted to get behind the wheel of a Jag."

Laughing, he replied, "Not a chance. I've seen the way you steer a gurney."

* * *

Grace was in the lounge, hanging up her coat when Carter arrived for his shift. "Grace. Just the person I was looking for."

"My shift's already started, Carter." She said, trying to avoid the inevitable conversation.

"So is mine. But," he said, pulling her aside, "this will take just a minute."

"Carter I know what you're going to say…"

"I'm just trying to look out for you, Grace."

"Well I'm a big girl and I don't need anyone's permission to go on a date."

"Hey, I'm not judging you, but it's just hard to believe…I mean, _Romano_ of all people?"

"He's not who people think he is, at least not with me."

"That's funny. I though he was the one who kept you up all night doing his charts to punish you, not to mention he's been driving you crazy for weeks."

"I don't know what to say, Carter. I really can't explain it. You'll just have to trust me."

"Be careful, Grace." He said sincerely.

"Kind of hard to do with affairs of the heart, especially where doctors and nurses are involved, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you that." She said, poking him in the stomach. "Can I ask a favor? Please don't say anything, at least not yet, until I see where this is going. I think you and Susan were the only ones from the ER who were there last night and I'd appreciate not having this same conversation with 20 other people."

"See? You know what they're going to say."

"And I don't care what they think, I just don't want to have to justify myself to everyone."

"Well, it's your decision, Grace. I guess I'll have to respect that."

"Yes you will." She grinned.

"However you do realize that gossip has a way of spreading like wildfire around this place. How long do you think it will be before this news hits the ER?"

"I don't know, but I'll take what I can get. Now why don't we talk about your love life? What about Susan, Abby…Malucci?"

"Oh you're going to pay for that one." He said, tickling her as they walked out of the lounge.


	14. Rocky Road

**Chapter 14 – Rocky Road**

As she left the hospital, she was very tired, but anxious to get home, hoping Romano had called. There was an ornate arrangement of flowers waiting for her just outside her apartment door and she whisked it inside. After searching for several minutes, she was unable to find a card and realized it must have fallen out in the delivery van. A little disappointed, she changed her clothes, poured herself a glass of wine, and decided to call him to thank him for the flowers.

She thought she was going to get his voicemail when he answered on the forth ring. "Romano!" He said brusquely.

"Well, hello to you too." She replied.

"Grace, is that you?"

"Uh, yeah. It only took one day for you to forget the sound of my voice."

"Sorry, I'm kind of in the middle of something. I'll have to call you back." and without time to respond, the phone call ended abruptly.

She was left holding the phone in disbelief, and confused at his reaction. _Maybe he had not sent the flowers, maybe they weren't even meant for her at all and had been delivered to the wrong apartment._ She walked over to them, took a deep breath to inhale their sweet bouquet and slowly sipped her wine.

Trying to get her mind off the odd phone call, she watched tv for a while, but it really didn't hold her attention. She paced the floor of her apartment and walked over to the window which looked out over the Chicago River. She had always felt grounded living somewhere where she could see the water. It usually helped to make her feel at peace with whatever life's stresses had thrown at her. However on this night, she felt anxious and apprehensive and began to question her instincts.

After a restless night of sleep, she woke early. With two days off, she had hoped to spend some of her free time with Romano, but she realized her plans were now up in the air. She moped around her apartment, hoping he would call or stop by. Chicago had been hit with a new wave of brutally cold weather, or she would have gone for a long walk to clear her head. Feeling cooped up only served to make her more agitated, with way too much time to think. By noon of the second day, she was driving herself crazy, wondering if she had made a monumental mistake and chastised herself for giving into temptation with the Chief of Staff.

Finally back at work, she ran into Romano when he came down to help with a trauma in the ER. She merely glanced in his direction as she assisted Chuny and Weaver who were working on a young man, who had been injured in a head on collision. Romano joined the trauma, focusing intently as he always did when he worked, until they got the patient stabilized. He then told Grace to help bring the boy up to the OR.

"You can't take my nurse, Robert. Call for an orderly, we have another trauma coming in." Weaver barked.

"If he codes on the elevator I need someone who can do more than sweep the floor, Kerry."

"Fine, then take Malik. We need Grace for the next trauma, and she's got more experience."

"Grace, bring the patient to the elevator." He ordered, pulling rank as he glared at Weaver. Grace looked up at her, shrugged and did as she was told. Once inside the elevator, she busied herself with the patient, hoping the ride would be quick and painless.

"I was going to call…" He began.

"It's fine." She replied, keeping her eyes on the patient. She couldn't bring herself to look at him for fear she would not be able to keep her emotions in check.

"It's not what you think."

She still refused to look up at him, choosing instead to busy herself writing the patient's vital signs on the chart.

"Whatever, you got what you wanted. I thought I was smarter than that, but I guess I'm always going to be a bad judge of character where men are concerned. At least now I'm clear on what this was really all about." She trailed off as the elevator doors opened. She passed the patient off to Shirley, and left quickly knowing Romano would be tied up for some time in the OR.

Romano, now pissed off and frustrated, worked quickly to save the patient. He was hoping to finish in time to get back downstairs to explain to Grace why he hadn't called her back.

As Grace's shift neared an end, she kept looking up at the clock. Jerry was talking to Luka about advice on buying a new car and trying to kill time, Grace struck up a conversation with them. "I hear you drive a pretty hot car, Luka."

"Yeah, I finally decided to buy myself a Christmas present I could really enjoy. My new toy makes up for having to deal with some of the bullshit around this place."

"You call that a toy?" She smiled.

Grace heard Romano coming down the hallway, yelling at an orderly who'd inadvertently gotten in his way. Hurt and angry, she decided to get back at him by flirting with Luka. She turned on the charm, stared into his eyes and began laughing and touching his arm, just as Romano was approaching. She knew Luka was fond of her and after the big Christmas Eve kiss, she didn't think he would need too much encouragement.

"So, Luka. What does a girl have to do to get on _your_ Christmas list?" She said raising her left eyebrow at him.

He laughed and leaned in a bit closer, looking deeply into her eyes. "You should let me take you for a drive sometime. I can show you what a real adrenaline rush it can be." He said cockily.

"Maybe…if you agree to let me drive. I'm off in ten minutes, why don't we take it for a spin." She said, kicking things into high gear.

"Hey greencard. You're behind on your charts." Romano snapped.

"I'm coming in tomorrow to finish them."

"Wrong answer. I need them by the end of the day."

"But yesterday you said…"

"Well I'm telling you I need them now. Did anyone bother to verify that there really are medical schools in Croatia?" Romano muttered as he walked away.

"I'm sorry, Grace. I guess we'll have to take a test drive another day." He said and then muttered some profanity in Croatian.

"I'm sorry too, but I'll take a raincheck." She returned his smile, but was genuinely sorry for being the reason Luka was being forced to work a double shift, to finish his charts.

"Hey Grace. Why don't you join us? We're heading over to Magoo's." Jerry offered. Grace agreed and as she went into the lounge to get her coat, Romano followed her.

"Not so fast, Jezebel."

"You're really unbelievable." She said, turning to leave, but he stepped in front of her, blocking the door. "I have to go, they're waiting for me. Please move, Robert."

"Okay, I know I didn't call you back, but you're acting like a pouty teenager for Christ sakes."

"I don't like being used, Robert. You were so rude on the phone and I feel like the world's biggest fool. The least you can do is let me leave with a small shred of dignity so I can try to forget this ever happened." She said angrily.

"I don't want to forget. Didn't you get my flowers?"

"Oh, were those were from you?" She said sarcastically. "There was no card."

"I know. I wanted to tell you in person, instead of on some impersonal piece of paper."

"Well impersonal is what you do best, isn't it?"

"That's not fair, Gracie. You know that's not how it is with you."

"No, I don't know how it is. How could I after you hung up the phone in my ear? But please, go ahead. Tell me what was so hell bent important that kept you from calling me? I'm sure it's just another one of the games you like to play."

"My sister is a heroine addict. She called me from a payphone begging for my help and when I finally got to her, she was barely clinging to life. She nearly died from an overdose and I've been overseeing her medical detox, trying to get her into a rehab center. I haven't slept in days and that, _Grace_, is why I couldn't call you back."

"Oh." She said softly. "I'm so sorry. I guess I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, but how could I have known? When I didn't hear from you I thought you were just…"

"Out for a good time?" He said, sounding hurt.

"Okay, I realize I must sound like such a bitch."

Romano stared back at her, noticeably not jumping in to refute it.

"Hey, at least I admit it, but there's no denying you are a bastard most of the time. Maybe that makes us a good pair?" She smiled coyly.

Romano continued to look into her eyes.

"Well say something, Robert. You scare me when you just look at me like that."

"Scare you or excite you?"

"Both. Not necessarily in that order."

He conceded a small smile. "So, you nearly swept the walking accent off his feet. Was that just for my benefit or were you serious?"

"Did it piss you off?"

"You know it did. I'm sure that's the main reason you did it."

"Come on, he's like the town bicycle. Nearly every nurse here has had a ride. Do you really think that's a road _I_ want to travel down?"

He grinned as he enjoyed her assessment of Kovac. "So you have a hot date at Magoo's?"

"Well, it was the best offer on the table."

"Until now."

"But they're all waiting. What will I say?"

"Tell them you're too tired to go out."

"That sounds lame."

"Then tell them you are insatiably horny and need to have your brains fucked out by the only man who can satisfy you." Grace was frozen for a moment as Robert stood there, his eyes boring into hers as he took her hand and placed it between his legs, so she could feel him, nearly completely hard at the mere thought.

She kissed him forcefully, pushing him up against the wall as he groaned, excited by her aggressive lead. "Mmm, Grace." He said breathlessly. They were making the most of their stolen moment in time when suddenly his pager sounded. "I don't believe this! You have _got_ to be kidding me!" He yelled, looking at her in disbelief. "I _will_ call you later. I _promise._" He said.

"By the way, the flowers were gorgeous." she said, giving his package a final squeeze.

"Christ, Gracie, are you trying to kill me?"

"It wouldn't be the worst way to go." She grinned evilly.

"I will call you."

"Yes you will."


	15. Are You In?

A.N. I know this one is very long, but I just couldn't find a good place to split it up. Here's hoping you enjoy the next part of the journey.

**Chapter 15 – Are You In?**

Over the next few weeks, Grace and Romano were in the throws of carnal lust and had beome increasingly creative at seeking out all the best corners of the hospital where they could indulge themselves. It was a close call one day when Grace nearly walked in on Malucci, whose own partner in crime must have just left moments before. Upon nearly being discovered, he looked a bit surprised to see Grace coming into the supply room, but she quickly came up with a plausible story and Malucci was none the wiser. They had been able to keep their budding relationship on the QT and no one other than Susan and Carter seemed to suspect a thing.

As Grace returned from her 'break', Jerry waved her over. "Hey, Grace. Some guy's been looking for you. He's in chairs, says he's a friend of yours." Jerry said smiling rather mischievously.

Abby smiled and turned to her. "_Some guy_? Sounds intriguing, Grace. Are you keeping your new boyfriend a secret from us?"

"I guess the cat's out of the bag, Abby. Let me guess, Jerry, he's tall dark and handsome?" Grace replied sarcastically.

"That's him. Real good looking guy. Kinda reminds me of Bon Jovi, except he's got darker hair. I take it you were expecting him?" Grace had been joking but turned slowly hoping somehow she was not about to lay eyes on the one person she knew who fit the description. She screwed up her courage and spun around to face him, and her heart sank as she saw the figure before her.

"Steven?"

"Grace, it's so good to see you. You look fantastic!" He said, grinning ear to ear as he moved towards her.

She immediately took a step backwards and clutched a patient's chart to her chest, to stop him from embracing her. "What on earth are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I thought you might be expecting me." He replied nervously, looking slightly confused.

"Expecting you, why would I be?" She replied angrily.

"I'm heading the team that's doing the Nelson boy's surgery."

"That's you? Really? I guess I didn't realize, I've been kind of busy lately." She shook her head in disbelief as her mind flooded back with painful memories of the last time she'd been face to face with her ex-husband.

"I'm sorry I had to be the one to spring it on you like this." He smiled and suddenly sensed several pairs of eyes on him as the ER staff all watched with keen interest as a chapter in Grace's personal life was about to unfold before their eyes.

Grace picked up on it too and could feel her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "I can't talk right now. I've got patients to see." She said, walking away quickly down the hallway, with Steven choosing to follow right on her heels.

A bit further away from prying eyes, he stopped her from going into an exam room. "I was hoping we would have a chance to talk, Grace." He smiled hopefully.

She looked up into his dark, smoldering eyes. His deep, soft, brown eyes that had swept her away on so many occasions, yet behind them hid all the lies and deceit that had destroyed their marriage and devastated her beyond belief.

"I can't do this, Steven."

He shot her his most charming gaze, "You won't even spare me a few minutes for a cup of coffee, Grace?"

Suddenly Carter appeared. "Grace can you find out what's taking social services so long to get down here? Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were with someone." He said, sensing the man she was talking to wasn't a patient.

"I'll go call them again, Carter." She said, welcoming the interruption.

"Grace, I was really hoping we could spend some time together while in I'm Chicago." He said quietly.

Grace looked up at Carter and then Steven, and walked back to the admit desk to call social services.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?" Carter said, extending his hand. "I'm Dr. John Carter."

"Dr. Mancini from the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit. I'm here to do Connor Nelson's surgery."

"Hmm. You're also Grace's ex-husband."

He wasn't sure how much Grace had told him about their relationship, but he guessed it couldn't be very flattering. "Yeah, I am. Listen, I'm not here to cause any trouble. I just wanted to stop by and catch up with Grace while I'm in town."

Carter shook his head, "Absolutely none of my business. Look, why don't we talk in here," He said, shuffling him into the lounge as several nurses were hovering around, trying to eavesdrop.

"County has a great reputation. I'm really looking forward to working with your staff to help Connor take a big step towards his recovery."

"I'm sure County's lucky to have you here to sharing your skill and expertise. So tell me, how is it you came be involved?"

Romano entered the lounge and quickly picked up on something between them. "Dr. Carter." He said, as he reached for a cup of coffee.

"Dr. Romano. I take you two must have already met?" Carter remarked.

"No, can't say we have. Hi, I'm Dr. Mancini." He said, reaching out to shake Romano's hand.

"Dr. Mancini, yes." Romano suddenly grinned as he recognized the name. "You're here to work with us on Connor Nelson. Well, Welcome to County Hospital. I've heard great things about you from Donald Anspaugh." He beamed.

Carter realized Romano had no idea this man was Grace's ex-husband and decided it best to leave quietly. "Well, I should get back out there. Nice meeting you, Dr. Mancini." He said, hesitating as he considered filling Romano in on his identity.

"Yeah, likewise, John."

As Romano completely ignored Carter and launched into the praises of not only himself, but the hospital, Carter smiled slightly to himself and left the room, deciding to let him figure it out on his own. _Poor, arrogant bastard,_ he thought to himself.

Outside, Grace was back at the admit desk, trying to fight off a barrage of questions.

"Wow, Grace. You never told me he was so gorgeous." Abby said, fanning herself with a file.

"Yeah, if you like the wolf in sheep's clothing type."

"Hey, who's that hot guy I saw you with earlier, Grace?" Chuny asked as she joined the crowd.

Grace rolled her eyes. "You don't want to know, trust me." She said and walked away.

"That's her ex." Abby offered.

"Really?" Chuny commented. "My God girl! Any man who looks as hot as that deserves a second chance. Maybe even a third or a forth!"

"Grace, Grace!" Carter tried to catch her before her next patient.

"Hey Carter. Can you believe my luck? I don't think this day couldn't get any worse." She said, going into the prescription medicine cabinet.

"Guess again."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure you want me to tell you? You have to promise not to kill the messenger."

"I have a bad feeling I'm going to find out anyway. Spill it."

"Well, it seems that your new boyfriend has no idea who your ex is. I just saw the two of them talking in the lounge."

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "This can't be happening."

"I was with Steven when Romano came in. In his usual charming way, he provided a completely self-serving introduction of himself and County, so I decided to leave before the fireworks started."

"This is unbelievable, Carter. Where are they now?"

"I don't know. I saw them walking down the hall. Probably on their way up to Romano's office."

"Do me a favor, cover for me?" She said, running towards the elevators. Frustrated, she continued to push the up button, wondering why it was that you could never get an elevator when you really needed on.

When she arrived at his office, Romano seemed to be alone. He smiled when he saw Grace approaching. "Hey you. Much as I'd love to lock us both inside and have you play naughty nurse, I have a department meeting to get to."

She ignored him and looked around his office, "Where is he?"

"Where is who?"

"Steven."

"Dr. Mancini?"

She looked at him dumbfounded. "Yes, yes, Steven. As in my ex, as in what the hell is he doing here?"

"_Mancini's_ your ex husband?" He shook his head. "Jesus, Grace. I had no idea. You never told me his last name, I always assumed it was Hanson."

"No, it isn't." She glared.

He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, "So, this must be a huge shock?"

"Try monumental. I guess I never expected to see him again and he just popped up out of nowhere. He said he's heading the team doing Connor Nelson's surgery?"

"And been given special privileges here at County to do the reconstructive portion of the boy's surgery."

Brenda suddenly interrupted, "Sorry Dr. Romano but Dr. Anspaugh's asking for you. They're waiting to start the meeting."

He looked down at his watch, "Damn it, I've got go, Grace. Find me later and we'll talk, okay?"

Grace went back to the ER but was having a hard time focusing. She called upstairs a few times, but Brenda told her Romano was still in his meeting. When her shift ended, she walked over to Doc Magoo's to sit and stew over a cup of coffee until she could finish talking to Romano.

As she walked in, she noticed Steven was sitting at the counter. She panicked and turned to leave but he caught a glimpse of her and ran after her. "Please, Grace. Just one cup of coffee? I promise to behave myself."

"That would be a first."

He looked at her pleadingly and stroked her arm softly. "Please, babe."

"Don't call me that." She snapped back. "I really don't think there's anything left to say, Steven. We both made choices and moved on with our lives."

"Two coffees." He said smiling, and the waitress was happy to oblige by filling two cups on the spot. "See? Now you have to stay."

She begrudgingly sat down and took a sip from the cup.

"You look fantastic, Grace. It's so good to see you."

"Life in Chicago agrees with me." She said, averting his eyes. She had a tendency in the past to get sucked in by their magical allure.

"I've missed you."

"Steven, stop, okay? I'm not doing this," She said standing up.

"I'm sorry, please don't go. I promise I won't say anything else to upset you."

"Last chance or I'm out of here."

He nodded.

"So, how's your sister? I always resented the fact that when we broke up it meant sacrificing my friendship with her."

"She's fine, same as always. She misses you too, and told me to make sure to say hello. The whole family misses, you Grace. They all loved you and they never wanted to have to sever ties with you. It took a lot for them to do it."

"Not much, just you."

"Okay, I guess I deserved that. Look, we both know what I did and how I've said I'm sorry a thousand times even though it won't change what happened. Can't we at least have a civil conversation?"

"I don't know, can we?"

"Grace..."

"Okay, fine. I'll be civil, but know that it's under duress."

He smiled, having missed her sense of humor. "So, you like it here?"

"Yeah, everyone's great. Except for missing my beloved Redwings. " She grinned.

He nodded, "I still have the season tickets. You missed them raising the banner. Man, it was amazing!"

"Thanks for reminding me. I had to watch it on tv."

"So...I met Dr. Carter. He seems nice, but that Romano's a real piece of work, isn't he? He was practically falling all over himself, trying to impress me. Seems pretty cocky.

"Pot, meet kettle."

Steven ignored her comment and smiled. "He even went so far as to say he could pull some strings to get me a permanent position here."

"You're not serious?"

"Don't worry, Detroit's my beat. I have no plans to relocate." He said as she looked relieved. "unless you'd be willing to give us another try."

She stood up immediately. "I knew it. I knew you couldn't keep your word, not even for five minutes. You really think I'd give you another chance after what you put me through?" She began to walk out of the diner.

"Grace, wait. You have to understand, I've changed. I'm not the same man who hurt you."

"You'll always be that man, Steven." He caught her arm and pulled her towards him, kissing her before she had a chance to react. She immediately pulled away and slapped him before running outside and back towards the ER. With tears in her eyes she avoided the emergency doors and went back in through the side door. She went upstairs to wait for Romano and Brenda let her wait inside his office. Sensing Grace was upset, she offered to get her some water.

"Thanks, Brenda. That would be great."

After a few minutes, he arrived and not a moment too soon. "From the look on your face, I take it you found him."

"I went to grab a coffee at Magoo's, but just my luck, he was there. The bastard had the audacity to ask me for another chance and when I told him to forget it, he kissed me."

Romano looked on, concerned that in his big play to get the hospital a boat load of free publicity might have inadvertently put his relationship with Grace in jeopardy.

"Well, he sure didn't waste any time." He said quietly.

"Don't worry, it wasn't memorable for either of us, except maybe the sting he's feeling from my right hand connecting with his jaw."

She moved towards him, and he took her in his arms, stroking her hair away from her face. She clung tightly to him as though he was her lifeline at the moment. She closed her eyes and let out a few sobs before pulling back and turning away.

"You don't need to do that with me, Grace."

She wiped her face before turning back to face him. "What do you mean?"

"Don't put on a brave face for my sake. Cry, scream, yell. It won't change how I feel about you."

"I'm fine." She lied. "Besides, he's not worth it anyway." She tried to hold it in, she hated crying in front of anyone, and would do almost anything to prove to herself and everyone else how strong she was. She had fought hard to get her life on track after her divorce and stand tall after being humiliated. Not to mention that it drove her crazy to see women who turned on the tears when the slightest thing went awry. She then directed her pain at Romano, becoming angry. "So, how could you not know? I mean, I've know I've told you about him. I must have mentioned his name?"

"You didn't, _believe me_, I would remember." He said emphatically.

"And when will this all be over? When is Connor's surgery?"

"Next Monday."

She made a non descript noise, roller her eyes and shook her head in disapproval. "Fine, then. I can just avoid him for a few days. It's not like he should be anywhere near the ER anyway."

"Grace…"

"I just can't believe he would think after everything, after all this time, that I would even consider taking him back."

"Grace, I finagled you on spot on the surgical team for Connor's operation. It was going to be a surprise, but I thought it might help springboard your career to be included in such a high profile case."

"No, Robert. I can't! Please, you can't ask me to. Not now."

"I had to pull a lot of strings to make this happen, Grace. I can't very well go to Donald and tell him you're not interested." He said quietly.

"Don't you think you should have consulted with me first? My God, what made you think I'd want to do this in the first place?"

"Well, with your experience working in that field, which by the way was something you _did _mention to me, as well as the years you spent in the Detroit Hospital OR, I actually thought you'd jump at the chance."

She shot him a look, but realized none of this was his fault. "You're right. I would have under other circumstances, and circumstances being what they are, I don't have a choice, do I? I'll just have to suck it up."

"I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think. You survived operating with me when you were vehemently against it."

"Mmm, right. I still think you're the one who switched the schedule that day."

"My not so subtle way to spend the day with you."

"I knew it!"

"Besides, I'll be in the OR for the entire surgery. I can keep the hot shot in check in case he tries anything…"

She finally managed a small smile. "I can only imagine how much fun _that _would be! She paused for a moment and added, "Okay, I guess I'm in. Thanks."

"For what? Making your life miserable?"

"No, for making me feel better about this…situation. At least a little bit." She said gesturing with her hand.

"I know a way I can make you feel _a lot_ better." He smiled, pulling her towards him.

"Actually, I'm feeling a bit drained after today. I think I'll just head home and take a bath."

"I don't like leaving you like this."

"I can handle it."

"But you don't have to do it alone."

She smiled and nodded, "I just need a bit of time on my own, okay?" She said as she turned to leave. He seemed reluctant to let her go of her hand and resisted as she pulled away from him.

"Grace…I love you."

She smiled as she gazed into his eyes. "You really do, don't you?" She said, kissing him desperately, holding onto him, needing him more than he could know. "I love you too, Robert. Although I feel like I should warn you that I can be more than a handful at the best of times and right now, I'm a bit of a mess."

She paced a bit, and then turned back to him. "When I married Steven, I thought I was utterly and completely in love with him. I gave him everything." She whispered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she added, "Afterwards, I tried to move on and I came to realize that the only sure way to get through it, to be safe, was to depend on myself. It was hard, I had never really been out on my own, and now I'm not sure if I can be completely…I mean I _want_ to. I _really_ want to be able to give myself that way again. The longing, desperate, unconditional, whole, perfect…"

"Gracie, nothing is ever perfect."

"Robert, I do love you. You need to know that. But I'm just not sure if I can give myself to someone that way again."

He looked at her intently. "You know, I spent the better part of my meeting thinking about beating him within an inch of his life. But then I realized I really should be thanking him. If he hadn't hurt you and betrayed you, completely destroyed what you had, then I never even would have met you, Grace."

"Funny old world, isn't it?"

"Let me take you home."

"Okay." She nodded, too tired to argue or to admit she really didn't want to be alone.


	16. Let the Games Begin

Chapter 16 – Let the Games Begin

All the members of the surgical team were being brought together to discuss Connor Nelson's upcoming procedure. The young boy had a myriad of difficulties ranging from heart and lung complications to several physical deformities. His plight had been brought to public attention in recent weeks as his family did not have health insurance to pay for the extensive surgeries he would require. His condition had reached a critical stage and without surgery, faced a grim prognosis.

As Grace wasn't scheduled to work that day, she arrived at the meeting in business attire, wearing a beautiful black suit jacket and skirt, and a stunning pink silk blouse. Dr. Anspaugh had told them there would be some press at the hospital due to the publicity surrounding the procedure and she'd taken extra time getting ready to ensure she looked her best. One could argue that she was also hoping to make a point with her ex, by showing him what he was missing.

When she arrived, she noticed Romano was already speaking to Dr. Anspaugh and several members of the surgical team. As Anspaugh was ready to begin the meeting, everyone began to take their seats and Steven motioned to her as he called out, "I saved a seat for you beside me, Grace. She felt obliged to smile and sit down, to avoid an awkward moment in front of everyone. As the meeting got underway, they dimmed the lights and began with a powerpoint presentation. Moments later, Grace felt a hand on her knee, as Steven slowly slid his hand up her thigh, and she let out a slight gasp.

A few people looked over in her direction, and Anspaugh hesitated before continuing on. Romano looked over intently, wondering what was going on as Grace tried to subtly move her chair a few inches away from Steven's. A few minutes later when he tried again, Grace was ready for him. She took hold of his fingers and began to bend them backwards, causing him to utter a small sound, which once again drew the attention of the others. He finally released his hand from Grace's leg and the meeting continued on without further incident.

As they wrapped up, Steven leaned over and whispered to Grace, "You look good enough to eat, Grace. Have lunch with me?"

As they arose from their seats, she replied, "I doubt that would be a good idea, Steven. Let's just get through the next few days with as little interaction as possible and preferably on a strictly professional basis. We have a very big job ahead of us and neither one of us needs any distractions."

Shirley, who was also assisting in the surgery, came over towards Grace and Steven, "Grace, you have to promise not to consume all of Dr. Mancini's time." She flirted.

Grace looked at them, and hid her first impulse to burst out laughing. While it was true, he was well-known for his above average surgical skills, not to mention his good looks which had certainly caught Shirley's attention, Grace knew all too well how much Steven enjoyed being the man of the hour. He lived to talk about his medical accomplishments to anyone who would listen, but with all she'd gone through, Grace would always see him first as a poor excuse for a husband before thinking of him as a top notch surgeon.

"Actually Grace and I have worked together before." He smiled. "We used to be married."

"I had no idea." Shirley commented.

"Yeah, small world." Grace managed a polite smile. "Excuse me." She added and walked away to grab a coffee.

Romano hovered nearby and as Grace chatted with several other staff, she didn't notice initially that he had decided to take his opportunity with Steven.

"Hey, Rockstar. Moment of your time?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Just so we're clear, upsetting my staff is not part of deal I agreed to when we signed up for this shindig. You're here for one reason and one reason only which means Grace is off limits to you. As long as you get that, we won't have a problem." He said.

Immediately becoming defensive, Steven replied, "Are you this over-protective of all your staff, or just the hot ones?"

"Grace is one of our best nurses, cowboy. Just stay away from her, you've done enough already." Romano quipped, looking at him with disdain. "The last thing she needs is you blowing into town, guns blazing, trying to make up for your past indiscretions and ease your so-called conscience. You had your chance with her and you blew it."

Steven smiled sarcastically, keeping his voice low as there were still quite a few people looming close by. "Let's get a few things straight, Romano. My relationship with Grace past or present, is none of your business and if you think your little big man on campus talk is going to send me running off with my tail between my legs, you're sadly mistaken. I'll be the judge of what Grace needs and on top of that, I won't let you screw up my chance to look like a hero in all this. I'm well aware of the publicity, just as much as you are and don't even begin to pretend you didn't get involved in this for the same reasons I did."

Grace looked over at them, noticing they seemed to be engaged in a very intense conversation. She thought it best to wander over in case they needed to be sent off to separate corners.

"Do I need to send you boys to bed without supper?"

"Only if you promise to give me a proper spanking first, Grace." Steven grinned.

"Watch your mouth, Mancini."

Continuing on as though they were alone, Steven added, "Your boss was just warning me to stay away from you. I wonder why he would think I wasn't looking out for your best interests? He sure seems to have changed his tune pretty quickly." Steven said sarcastically.

"Maybe he can see through your less than sincere façade, Steven? We both know you're not here out of the goodness of your heart. I'm sure you're counting the dollar signs as we speak or maybe you're vying for some new award to add to your collection?"

Romano interrupted, "Heck of a job you plastics docs have. You wait for the real surgeons to scout out the territory and send in the cavalry, then waltz in with a splash of lipstick and spackle, and call it a day."

Ignoring him, Steven replied, "Babe, you've got me all wrong," trying his best to sound genuine. "When Donald called me about possibly helping with this, I jumped at the chance to make a difference in this little boy's life. But if you're wondering how much money there is to be made here, I suggest you ask Romano why County was so hot to agree to all this. Then again, you might want to steer clear of this one. I'd hazard a guess he has a lot more than your professional interests at heart." He said and walked away.

Not wanting a scene, she stepped in front of Romano, as Steven walked back towards Anspaugh. "Don't pay any attention to him, Robert. He'll say anything to get me all riled up."

"Well, he's right about one thing. I did agree to this primarily to capitalize on the publicity it would bring to the hospital. It is an election year after all and as usual we're facing a huge budget cut, and just as importantly, I can't let Weaver think she's the only one who can leverage funding for this hospital. We've scheduled some photo ops with the Mayor and the Governor and if all goes well, we should stand to see a hefty influx of cash from all this."

"Well, at least you're honest about it and in the end, Connor will be the lucky one either way. But I know he's doing this solely for the sake of personal gains, all the while pretending that he's the humanitarian of the year."

As the team gathered outside to answer a few of the reporter's questions, Steven took centre stage, as he reveled in the attention, as Dr. Anspaugh and Romano stood just to his left.

"So, Dr. Mancini. Did your previous malpractice suit have any bearing on County Hospital agreeing for you to come here?"

"Uh, that case was settled out of court and has no relevance here." Steven answered.

"And are you looking forward to working closely again with your ex-wife?" A few faces seemed surprised at this revelation, as did Grace who didn't expect this to be public knowledge.

He smiled, "I have the utmost respect for Grace. We make a good team," he said, pulling her next to him.

"Miss Hanson, do you feel the same way?"

On the spot, Grace stammered a bit, not having any experience talking to the press. "Well, I…I'm sure we're all looking forward to working with such an experienced surgeon. County is a teaching hospital after all, and this is just another example of how they're able to provide a great opportunity for us to observe someone of his caliber. I've seen first hand some of the remarkable transformations he's performed in the past and of course we all want the best for Connor. Coming together and collaborating with so many skilled professionals will really make a difference in this boy's life, and I for one am very honored to be a part of it." She smiled and stepped back over to where the others were standing.

"Miss Hanson, what about your personal feelings towards your ex-husband? Won't that make for a lot of tension in the operating room?"

Dr. Anspaugh jumped in, "I think Miss Hanson has answered enough personal questions. Let's remember we're here for Connor, and I have every confidence that each member of this surgical team will perform with the utmost professionalism in and out of the OR." He said, looking at Grace and Steven.

After a few more questions relating to the surgical procedure, which Anspaugh answered, they all dissipated into the hallway.

"Well, gee that was fun." Romano quipped to Grace. "But as usual, you were quick on your feet. You turned what could have been a very awkward moment for the hospital into an opportunity to plug the great work we're doing here. You sure you weren't a politician in a previous life?"

"I've had to fake a few things in my day where he's concerned. I just tried to steer the conversation back to the topic at hand instead of making it about tabloid fodder."

"You never cease to impress me, Grace. We're a lot more alike than I thought."

She smiled. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Sounded like one to me."

"Are you scheduled for surgery later on? If not, I was hoping we could grab lunch."

He eyed her up and down, keeping his distance until they were completely alone, but wishing he could take her right then and there. "Great skirt." He commented, as he titled his head so he could check her out from behind. "No wonder botox boy made a move on you under the table."

Smiling, she replied, "I wanted to break his hand, but then I really would have had a lot to answer to."

Dr. Anspaugh approached them both, "Robert, Grace. I'd like to see you both in my office." He said, as though it was not up for discussion. "Ten minutes."

As they made their way upstairs on the elevator, Grace worried about his reaction.

"Don't worry, I can handle Anspaugh." He assured her.

"Do you think he wants to pull me off the team? Then again, it might not be a bad idea."

"Grace you deserve to be here. Neither he nor I would have considered it if you didn't

have the experience and the skill. There's no reason for him to change his mind now."

"But they might not have put me here without your 'gentle coaxing'."

They went inside Anspaugh's office and sat down, and noticed he looked less than pleased when he arrived.

"Not exactly the press conference I was expecting, but I must say, thanks to Grace here, at least we didn't come off any worse for it. You handled yourself very well and you represented County General in the utmost professional and positive manner."

"Thank you, Dr. Anspaugh. I must say, I was surprised they would even know about my previous marriage to Dr. Mancini and even more so that they would ask about it."

"They live to dig up dirt. Always trying to find a reason to slam the health care system." Romano added.

"Well, I was unaware of it myself." Anspaugh said. "To be honest, I probably would have turned down Robert's request to have you on the team if I'd known. Nothing personal, Grace, but I'm sure you can understand."

"Yes, completely. But I can assure you, Dr. Romano had no knowledge of my previous relationship with Dr. Mancini. I use my maiden name, Hanson, as you know."

"That brings up another concern, your relationship with Dr. Romano. I understand you two are seeing each other?"

At first, neither of them said a word, but just looked at each other.

"I know you were at the New Year's Eve benefit. Whatever's going on between you could provide additional copy for a slow news day. I'd prefer you keep this quiet, at least for the time being."

"Understood." Romano replied tersely and Grace nodded. "Now, what about Motown Mancini's malpractice suit? His prior indiscretions don't exactly help to keep our noses clean in all this."

"More of a misunderstanding from a few years ago, if I'm not mistaken, Grace?"

"I'm really not at liberty to say." She offered noncommittally. She knew it was best if she didn't go into the details. Obviously Anspaugh had his own ideas about Steven and if things went according to plan, he would be back to Detroit in a matter of days. No sense airing her dirty laundry.

Romano nearly jumped in to tell Anspaugh the truth, but Grace put her hand on his arm and he kept silent.

"Well, I'm sure it will all blow over once the surgery is over and all the press will have to worry about is how Connor is thriving after receiving the best care possible. Well, then. I guess we'll see you two shortly? Steven insisted I invite you as well, Grace. Reservations are at Tru for 1:00."

As they left and made their way into the elevator, Grace questioned Romano, "Don't tell me we're all having lunch together? Maybe this is my punishment for being very bad in a previous life?"

"Hey, why torture yourself when life'll do it for you?"

"Thanks for the good thoughts." She said sarcastically.

"Sorry, I know you prefer the erotic ones." He said, kissing her hungrily.


	17. Bon Appetit

**Chapter 17 – Bon Appetit**

Arriving at Tru, Grace was hit with an attack of nerves and had to force herself to go inside. The last thing she wanted to do was have lunch with her ex, her new man and Donald Anspaugh.

Never having been to this restaurant, she was struck immediately upon entering by the glamorous décor and wondered how an odd turn of events had landed her at this trendy place. Anspaugh and Mancini were already waiting when Grace arrived with Romano. As she was seated between Romano and her ex, she hoped for a quick and painless meal, but secretly expected the worst.

"Donald…Mancini." Romano said with a touch of annoyance in his voice as he looked down at Steven.

"Robert." Mancini said politely. "I'm so glad you could join us, Grace. I wanted you to have a chance to get to know my good friend Donald. We go way back." He said, smiling at Anspaugh.

"I've met Dr. Anspaugh before, Steven. But it's lovely to have a chance to see you outside of the hospital." She said, nodding at Anspaugh.

"Yes, yes. It's true, with all the meetings and administration work, I just don't get enough opportunities to spend the time with our staff as I would like." He smiled.

Romano chimed in, "So, you and Donald are old friends. Well, you know what they say, friends will help you move, good friends will help you move bodies."

"I've never lost a patient, Robert, so maybe you're more in need of some _'good friends'_ than I am."

"Well, _I've_ never been involved in a malpractice suit." He grinned smugly.

Grace jumped in to try to diffuse the conversation, "Dr. Anspaugh, what would you recommend? I just can't seem to decide." She said, pretending to pour over the menu. As he recommended his favorites to Grace, Romano and Mancini just stared at each other, neither one wanting to be the first to look away.

As the waiter was taking their drink order, Anspaugh's pager went off, "Sorry, it's the hospital, I'll have to check in." He said, excusing himself to go make the phone call.

"Look you two, I _will _leave if you can't be civil. Steven, I can't believe you put me in this position. You had Anspaugh invite me along, only because you knew I'd never agree to lunch with you otherwise."

"I thought I could help chat you up a bit to the old guy. You know, help your career along a little? Anspaugh barely knows you exist and I'm sure you don't plan to stay in the ER forever. You're way too good to waste your skills treating the dregs of society all day."

"I love my job here." Grace countered. "It's a refreshing change from those bleach blonde bimbos looking for instant self esteem from a new set of double d's."

"Those bimbos made it possible for you to enjoy the Mercedes, the condo and the beach house in Maui…"

"All superficial bullshit, Steven. Funny you didn't mention the fringe benefits _you_ enjoyed, you bastard. I'll never forget walking in on you and Bambi or Candy, or whatever the hell her name was."

"Her name was Randi."

Grace glared, "Yes, I remember now, very apropos. Of course she had to spell it with an i, because she couldn't remember the rest of the alphabet."

Romano smiled as he enjoyed listening to Grace put Mancini in his place, until suddenly his pager began beeping as well. He got up from the table to join Anspaugh to see what was going on at County.

"I hope it's not something to do with Connor." Grace said.

When they returned to the table it was only to give their excuses. "Grace, Steven, I'm sorry but we have to get back to the hospital. Apparently two rival gangs have started an all out war and they're anticipating at least five of them have severe gun shot wounds." Anspaugh reported.

"Do you need me to come back with you?" Grace offered.

"Thanks, Grace, but it happened right before the shift change, so Kerry was able to keep a few extra nurses on. So please, go ahead and have your lunch. I'll make arrangements to pick up the tab on our way out, and Steven, I'll see you later on." He smiled.

Trying not to break their promise to Anspaugh to divulge their romance, Grace looked up at Romano who simply nodded and added, "Try to enjoy your lunch, Grace." Before shooting Mancini one last threatening stare. He hated the idea of leaving the two of them alone, but had no choice in the matter.

After they left, she said, "I think I should go too. They might need an extra set of hands after all."

"I'm sure they've got it covered. I'm actually kind of glad we finally have a chance to be alone, so we can talk. There's so much I want to say, Grace. "

"I think that ship has sailed, Steven." She said, beginning to rise from her seat.

As he took her arm, he pleaded with her not to leave. "Look, we're here anyway. Worst case scenario, you get a free lunch. Best case, if I get out of line you get the pleasure of throwing wine in my face. Come on, how can you resist such a tempting offer?" He said charmingly.

She took a deep breath and sighed, grinning slightly, "Okay, fine. I'll stay. But only because I ordered the red, and it would go so nicely with your pristine white shirt."

"Still quick as a wink. I miss that."

"Somehow I doubt it. You used to say my sharp tongue was my Achilles heel."

"Only because I was jealous of how quickly you could wound me with it. Grace, I know I hurt you and I know nothing I can ever say will change that, but you have to believe that I was a different person back then. It took having to live without you to make me realize how much I gave up. "

The waiter brought them their glasses of red wine and took their lunch order.

"Cheers, Grace. You didn't deserve what I did to you, and for that, I'll be eternally sorry."

"Hmm. I'm sure you are, Steven. Not about what you did, but very, _very _sorry you got caught."

"No, that's not true. You and I were a team. You were a part of my life, my business, _my bed_. Gracie, I can't tell you how alone I felt after you'd gone. "

"I'm sure you found a way to stay warm at night."

"But none of them were _you, _babe. You're so right, it was all superficial bullshit and at the end of the day, it didn't mean anything to me. I used to lie awake at night wishing I could take back what I did and that you were still there with me. I must have picked up the phone a thousand times, wanting to call you."

She stared at him, scrutinizing his demeanor. "I'm not really sure you're being sincere, but on the off chance that you are, I'm glad you finally figured out what's important to you, Steven. You're getting a bit old to still be sowing your wild oats and I hope for your sake you do realize what you chose to throw away."

"That's why I really wish you'd consider giving me another chance. Please, Grace. I know I can earn your trust again and show you I'm not the shallow guy who broke your heart for a few meaningless rolls in the hay."

"Well, I know I'm not the same person. I'm so much happier living here in Chicago. I've got a new life, a great apartment, a new job and more recently, began dating again."

"You're seeing someone? Right, of course you would be. Foolish of me to think otherwise. Probably one of the ER docs no doubt?"

"I'd rather not get into that with you."

He became quiet and finally added, "So, you really like working in the ER?"

"I like the variety, it's always a new adventure every day. I've done a few shifts up in the OR, but it's not my first choice."

"It's not? Hmm? I'm kind of surprised to hear you say that."

"Really, why is that?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we going to be part of a monumental surgical procedure in a couple of days? I have to wonder why you're on this team if your heart doesn't really belong to surgery?"

She tried to back peddle a little, "Well it's true, I didn't ask to be part of it, but when I was recommended by…well, asked to be considered for a spot on the team, I realized what an opportunity it was, to be part of something like this. I don't really know what my long term plans are, and I thought it would be good to keep my options open."

"You're not telling me the full story, Grace."

"You're accusing _me_ of lying? That's a switch."

He thought for a moment as he stared at her and sipped his wine. "I bet Romano submitted your name. Am I right? "

"I don't really recall who it was." She said evasively. "I've worked with several of the surgeons at County…" Her cheeks began to give her away, ever so slightly, as they began to turn a slight rosy color.

"Wait a minute, is he? No, couldn't be. Grace Elaine Hanson are you _dating_ Dr. Romano?"

"I can't imagine why you'd think that, Steven." She protested, taking a large sip of wine.

"But you're not answering the question and now that I think about it, it all makes perfect sense. He practically threw down the gauntlet, warning me to stay away from you."

She glared at him, "Fine, it's true. But you have to promise me you won't say anything. We're trying to be very discreet and it could cause problems for me at the hospital if the gossip mongers get a hold of this. Please Steven." She implored.

"Okay, Gracie, calm down. I promise not to tell a soul. Cross my heart." He smiled impishly.

"I mean it, Steven. Anspaugh warned us specifically to keep this under wraps while the press are here, covering Connor's surgery. They've already taken a shot at our past history to try to create a scandal, and we don't need to give them any more ammunition."

"I give you my word, Grace." Somehow, she didn't look too reassured. "I won't let you down again." He said emphatically, as he reached across the table and caressed her hand.

As their food arrived in several courses, Grace gradually let herself relax a bit and enjoy her exquisite lunch, as the waiter continued to refill her wine glass. It seemed strange to be having lunch with her ex again, but familiar at the same time.

By the time dessert arrived, Grace looked down at her watch and realized they'd spent over 2 hours having lunch and chatting. She suddenly became flustered, wanting to leave as her thoughts turned back to Robert which brought with them a slight pang of guilt.

"I'd really better be getting home." She said finally.

"You know, this reminds me a little of that place on Maui. Remember? The night the chef accidentally set that guy's toupee on fire when he came out to prepare the cherries jubilee."

She began to giggle, suddenly reminded of the memory. "You were laughing so hard I thought you wouldn't be able to stop long enough to help douse the flames."

"Hey, ultimately they did the guy a favor. It was the worst toupee I'd ever seen. You know it's so easy talking to you, Gracie. It feels just like old times."

"Don't pretend to be sentimental, Steven. I know you too well for that."

"People can change, Grace. But I do thank you for giving me a chance, and staying for lunch." He said genuinely. "I didn't realize how much I missed just talking."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but this wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be."

"Thanks…I think." He smiled.

"You know what I mean. It was a welcome relief not to spend all our time fighting. I can't remember the last time we ate a civilized meal together."

"Way too long." He said, gazing longingly into her eyes.

"It's taken a while to get to this point, but I guess I don't dream about driving over you with my car as much as I used to." She smiled evilly.

As they walked outside, there was a cool chill in the air and few flakes of snow had begun to fall, as Grace pulled her coat tightly around her.

"You must need a ride. You rode over with Romano, didn't you? "

"I can take the EL or a cab."

"It's kind of cold to be walking. I can give you a ride. "

"No, I can manage, thanks." She said, as her cell phone began to ring. She reached into her purse to retrieve it, but before she knew it, Steven had planted his lips softly against hers. Although she pull away from him, between the ringing phone and being caught off guard, she was somewhat slow to break free from his embrace.

She shook her head and glared at him as she answered her phone, "Grace speaking."

When she hung up, she blasted him for his romantic overture, "Still not playing by the rules of fair engagement? I should have known you'd try something like this."

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. You look so damn good, baby. And that perfume…I just couldn't help myself. Please don't be mad."

"Steven..."

"I know. I blew my chance with you. I'd be lying if I said I'm glad you're seeing someone, but I do want you to be happy, Grace."

"I don't have time to talk about this, I have to get back to the hospital. Weaver said they could use another pair of hands, although I doubt I'm in a position to be of much help after several glasses of wine."

"Come on," He said, giving the valet his ticket, "This way's much faster."

Realizing it made more sense not to fight him, she let him drop her off at County. When she entered the ER, Kerry looked relieved to see her arrive so quickly. "Grace, thank God! Throw on some scrubs, trauma two could use a hand. They'll be sending the next kid up to the OR, you can follow them and scrub in."

"Kerry," she whispered, pulling her aside, "I had a few drinks at lunch. I don't think I should be doing this."

"How many did you have?"

"Three glasses in two hours. Big glasses."

"We're desperate here, Grace. Go do a quick breathalyzer and let me know what your level is."

"I don't know about this, Kerry."

"Grace, we've got 5 criticals down here, plus 2 already up in the OR. They're still bringing in more wounded and Mercy's stopped taking traumas. If you're able to work, we really need you."

Grace ran off to check and came back a few minutes later with the results for Weaver.

"It's 0.07."

"Close, but technically safe enough to drive a car. Can you do it?"

Realizing the situation was dire, Grace nodded and ran into trauma two, and right into the middle of all the chaos.

After several hours, things had finally died down and she went upstairs to see if Romano was still in surgery. He was just finishing up the final patient, so she couldn't see he was smiling under his mask when he noticed her through the glass.

"How'd you make out in there?" She asked when he entered the hallway.

"Saved two, lost one. I'm not sure how Anspaugh made out."

"I'm sorry. You must be beat, it's been such a long day." She said, stroking his arm, as they made their way into the surgical lounge for a bit more privacy.

"Looks like they called you into battle after all." He said, noticing she was in scrubs.

"Yeah, just as we were finishing lunch."

"So you went from one war zone into another."

"It wasn't that bad actually."

"Really?" He said, sounding disappointed. "Having a chance to finally get you alone, I thought for sure he would have tried something."

She hesitated for a moment before replying. "He knows it's over…and, now, unfortunately he also knows about us."

"You told him?"

"No, he figured it out. I'm sorry, Robert. I know the timing is awful. I made him promise to keep quiet."

"And you of all people still trust his promises?"

"Only because I'm out of other options. Look, it's only a few more days and then we'll be rid of him."

"I think the word you're looking for is eradicate." He said sarcastically.

"You're not exactly objective where's he's concerned."

"I'm objective, I object to everything about him."

"I'm sure the feeling's mutual. You really won him over with your endearing charm."

"I don't like the way he's been sniffing around you or the way Anspaugh thinks the sun rises and sets up his ass."

"You have nothing to worry about." She said, pulling him into a long, slow kiss.

"Well, forgive me if I don't share your naïve optimism."

"Maybe I'm trying to convince myself. I know how much this means to you and I'm so sorry that my relationship with Steven has made everything so complicated."

"None of this is your fault." He said, holding her close and kissing her neck. "Besides, what doesn't kill you..."

"Leaves you maimed, depressed and with and incredibly large debt to the hospital?"


	18. Where Your Loyalties Lie

A.N. Thank you all so much for your reviews. I really appreciate the feedback!

**Chapter 18 – Where Your Loyalties Lie**

While still in the surgical lounge, Grace heard herself being paged on the hospital intercom. She used the phone in the lounge to call the ER, only to find that Weaver needed her downstairs immediately.

"I wonder what's got Kerry's knickers in a twist?" She said. "I'm sure it won't take long. Meet me down in the ER lounge after your shower and we can go back to my place." She grinned as she walked out the door.

As she arrived in the ER, Weaver, looking serious, pulled Grace into the lounge.

"What's wrong Kerry?"

"Grace, I need to take a blood sample."

"What for?"

"The patient you worked on in trauma one, the last one you worked on."

"The boy who died?"

"Yes. It seems he was given the wrong dose of epi."

"That's impossible."

"I'm sorry, Grace, but this is not a request."

"What are you saying? You think I screwed up and you're accusing me of being intoxicated? You and I both know that's not true."

"They found an empty vial of epi in the trauma room."

"The vial couldn't be empty, Kerry. That's three times the dosage! Carter asked for 5mg and that's what I gave him."

"That's right, Carter asked for 5 and that's what's noted on the chart, but the vial in the trauma room was empty. Here, see for yourself."

"Look, Kerry, I don't know what's going on, but this is crazy."

"I'm going to need a sample of your blood, Grace."

"Where's Carter? He'll back me up. And Chuny, she was there too."

"Chuny is the one who found the vial, Grace. Carter said he didn't see you actually inject the epi, so he couldn't confirm how much was in the syringe."

Shooting Weaver a look of daggers, Grace held out her arm. "Fine. Do whatever you need to do, but it won't change anything. The autopsy will prove I didn't do anything wrong."

"Unfortunately an autopsy won't help us in this case. Levels of epinephrine increase rapidly after death making post mortem evaluation impossible."

Weaver took a sample of Grace's blood and asked her to wait while they ran a rush tox screen. As she sat there, she replayed the events of the trauma in her mind and each time came up with the same conclusion. She did not give the patient an overdose. She clearly remembered giving him 5 mg and placing the rest of the vial back on the counter. Didn't she?

* * *

Upstairs, Romano had finished showering and had just left the locker room when he ran into Mancini. "My, my, Mancini. I haven't seen you in what, 4 or 5 annoying-free hours? What the hell are you doing back here today?"

"Always a pleasure running into you, Robert. I gave Grace a ride back here after lunch. They called her and asked her to come in to lend a hand."

"By the way, just in case you haven't already guessed, I'm revoking my previous offer of a position here."

Mancini laughed, "I was never interested in coming here permanently. It's true, I had other motives in addition to being a bit of a hero, but now that everything's going according to plan, life should be back to normal in short order."

"Just so you know, Grace is counting the minutes until you leave, Mancini. Tick tock."

"Is that what she told you? She always did have a hard time letting go, feeling that sense of obligation. It's too bad you had to run off and miss lunch. Grace and I had the best time, reminiscing for hours. It was just like old times, complete with a kiss that almost knocked me right off my feet."

"You're full of shit, Mancini."

"Hey, if you don't believe me, go ahead and ask her yourself. Grace was never able to resist me for long. That's why she had to move away from Detroit. She knew her willpower would wane and eventually she'd end up back in my bed. One thing we could always count on was the most unbelievable, mind-blowing sex. Even if everything else was falling apart."

Romano came close to Mancini and stared intensely into his eyes and replied in a low, threatening voice. "I'm not buying for one minute that Grace would willingly touch you, and if you think that your delusional fantasies are in any way, shape or form going to get a rise out of me, you're even more obtuse than I thought."

"What she possibly sees in you is beyond me, although I should probably let you in on a little secret. Grace is certainly no saint and she's not beyond doing favors to advance her career. How do you think she ended up with me in the first place? In fact, she's so good at manipulating men, you probably thought it was your idea to put her on the surgical team."

Romano had a sudden flashback of Grace flirting with Kovac when she had been angry at him for not calling her.

Shirley approached them, and pulled Romano aside. She told him that Weaver was having a meeting down in the ER that required his immediate attention.

"Lucky for you we'll have to continue this conversation later, but let's get one thing straight, cowboy. This is _my_ hospital and I'll run it the way I see fit. Any decision to put Grace on or off the team was entirely up to me."

"And our little pal Donald. Don't forget you needed his influence with the advisory committee on this. But hey, thanks for the chat, Robert." Mancini grinned at Romano, knowing that his lies had at the very least, planted a seed or two of doubt in his mind.

"Yeah, well, don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure." He barked, storming off towards the elevator.

* * *

Back in the ER, Kerry returned with Carter and both had a somber look on their face.

"Grace, your BAC level was 95."

"It can't be. When I checked it, it was within acceptable limits."

"Maybe you hadn't metabolized all the alcohol from lunch when you tested it."

Grace turned to Carter, "I wasn't drunk and I'm not the only one who was in the trauma room. Someone else could have emptied this vial."

"That's a bit of a stretch, don't you think? You really think someone tried to frame you?" Carter replied

"It's the only explanation!"

"Grace, I know I shouldn't have asked you to work. I shouldn't have put you in this situation."

Romano walked in, obviously still hot from his recent encounter with Grace's ex.

"What the hell's going on in here? Looks almost like an intervention. Dr. Carter did you fall off the wagon?"

Weaver jumped in and explained to Romano why they were there.

"So let me get this straight. You asked Grace to work a trauma knowing she'd been drinking?"

"She took a breathalyzer, Robert. Technically she blew under the limit."

"Really? Did you see the test?"

Grace looked at him incredulously, as though he was accusing her of lying.

"I trust Grace, Robert."

"Mmm hmm. Well, that's just great, Kerry. So you can't actually verify she was sober and now we find out that Grace is indeed intoxicated. Thanks to the incompetence of this ER a 15 year old boy is now in the morgue."

Defending herself, Grace yelled, "Look, I'm not now, nor was I drunk earlier this afternoon, and…I _didn't_ inject him with the entire vial of epi! I would never have agreed to work if I hadn't been fit to perform my job."

"We were drowning in patients and I practically begged Grace to help out. She was just doing what she thought was in the best interest of this hospital." Weaver said.

"Well, all evidence to the contrary, Kerry. This is completely unacceptable not to mention this hospital will undoubtedly be faced with a lawsuit. I'm sure the family will want a little more than, 'gee sorry, a drunk nurse over-medicated your son and killed him'."

"I didn't give him an overdose!" Grace reminded harshly.

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"Did I ask for a nurse's opinion? I don't think so, because, quite frankly, it's never happened."

"His injuries were severe. We probably wouldn't have been able to save him anyway." Carter added.

"Not much of a consolation knowing we did everything possible to ensure he never stood a chance."

"We were only successful in stabilizing his leg wound before he went into v-fib, Dr. Romano." Carter said.

"Yes, it was a screaming success if the desired outcome was death. Kerry, as the ER attending, I'll need you to write up an official reprimand for Grace's gross incompetence."

"You can't do that!" Grace protested.

"Watch me." He said coldly.

"Robert, I think we should talk privately about how we're going to handle this." Kerry said.

"Well, I guess I can't trust a lesbian to do a man's job. If you don't have the stones to write her up, I will. Oh, and effective immediately Grace, you're on suspension."

"You're looking for a scapegoat, but I'm not the one to blame." Grace said emphatically.

"It was your responsibility to be fit to work, Grace. You didn't do your job, so maybe it's only fitting that you do the honors? You want to go tell the parents why their son is dead?"

"Bastard!" She yelled. Grace stormed out of the lounge, and ran outside, into the ambulance bay.

Carter glared at Romano before running out after her, "Grace! Grace!" He yelled as she kept walking away."Grace!" He called as he finally caught up to her, grabbing her arm to get her to stop.

"Thanks for backing me up in there." She said harshly.

"I couldn't lie, Grace. I didn't see how much you gave him."

"I wasn't drunk. I took a breathalyzer before I even started and it was 0.07."

"You know that is pretty close. Borderline."

"Fine, you don't believe me either? Then we have nothing left to say." She said pulling away from him and continuing on.

"Grace, I didn't say you were unfit in there. You seemed as sharp and as capable as always and I'll put that in the report. I've worked with you long enough to know your level of competency. I'm sure you'll only end up with a small suspension and probationary period."

"Not to mention an M & M. Well, that's just great. All this, for trying to help."

"I'm sorry, Grace. You know I'll do whatever I can to help. Are you going to be okay?"

She looked up at him, as the tears welled up in her eyes.

"I know it couldn't have been easy. Having him tear into you like that."

"No, it wasn't. To be honest, it was the last thing I was expecting." She cried, wiping her face.

"Grace, I'm so sorry." Carter said, holding her.

"You sound like a broken record, Carter."

"I'm off in an hour, do you want a ride home?"

"No, thanks. I don't think I could bear to hang around this place for another hour."

"Call me later, okay?"

Grace nodded and made her way to the EL platform.


	19. Divorce Makes Strange Bedfellows

**Chapter 19 – Divorce Makes Strange Bedfellows**

It was painfully familiar, although it had been a long time since Grace had felt so betrayed and alone. Arguably not the smartest course of action, but feeling as though she had nothing left to lose, Grace poured herself the first of several large drinks and continued on until she was finally interrupted by a knock at the door. With _'Death on Two Legs'_ by Queen blaring loudly in the background, she could barely hear it. She swayed over to answer the door and had to steady herself as she pulled on the handle.

"Rocket Romano!" She called out as she saw him standing in front of her.

"You're drunk, Grace."

"You finally got it right, this time! I'd have to say I'm definitely on my way to enjoying a really good buzz. But they say it's dangerous to drink alone, so I guess I should offer you one?"

"I think you've had enough for both of us." He softened a little. He helped her sit down on the couch and turned down the music. "You shut your phone off, Grace."

"You mean incompetent nurse, don't you?"

"Now, now, Gracie, vodka doesn't become you."

"You humiliated me, Robert. ME! Not Malucci or one of the interns, for Christ sakes, ME! I thought I meant something to you. I thought…"

"Grace, just hear me out, please." He said, trying to hold her as she pulled away.

"Please what? I trusted you. I've been completely vulnerable with you in every imaginable way and you just ripped me to shreds today, Robert."

"I admit it was not my finest hour. It was a long day and I didn't…"

"You didn't what? Didn't mean to do what you _always_ do and tear someone apart to make yourself feel better? We all try to save lives in there, Robert. We are all on the same side or don't you get that?"

"Yes, I do."

"You're spiteful and mean. And not just by accident, Robert. You're mean, just for the sake of it. I've seen that in you before, but I never thought you'd do it to me, especially in front of the ER staff. You need to go. I need you to leave, now. And here, take the bracelet."

"You're not thinking straight, Gracie."

"No. No more, 'Gracie'. I'm just an inept nurse that you won't have to work with ever again."

"What the _hell _are you babbling on about?"

"I told Weaver I quit, and to add insult to injury, she didn't even fight me on it. In light of the 'situation' she told me the cause of death would be attributed to the patient's extensive injuries and they would leave it at that, without further incident. So you see, problem solved." She sniped.

"Well, that was probably the dumbest thing you've ever done."

"No, it wasn't. It was believing in us." She said, as she pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door. She leaned against the back of the door for support and slowly slumped down until she was sitting on the floor of her apartment. As she quietly sobbed, she was suddenly startled a few minutes later by another knock at the door.

As she stood to answer it, she barked out, "Did you forget something, Romano? Another sarcastic word of wisdom for the newly unemployed?" but was surprised to find it was Steven standing before her.

"I heard about what happened today, Grace. I was worried about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay." He stared at her, and with tears streaming down her face, he immediately took her in his arms and hugged her tightly.

As they went inside her apartment, an inebriated Grace told her ex all the gory details of what had happened to land her in such a state.

"I knew he was a son of a bitch, Grace! I spent the afternoon with you and I know you weren't drunk, not even close. If it will help you, I can certainly attest to that."

"I don't even know how all this happened. In the blink of an eye my whole life just blew up in my face. The hardest part is trying to understand what made him go off on me the way he did. He's never been like that, with me." She added quietly.

"You have to fight this! You can't just give up and let them win."

"What choice do I have? Connor's surgery is the day after tomorrow. Weaver agreed that if I go quietly, they can whitewash this if the press gets wind of my leaving. I can't risk the hospital or the Nelsons having to deal with a scandal."

"It's still not right. Let me talk to him. I'm not intimidated by his holier than thou attitude."

"No, Steven. Please don't. It's the last thing I want."

"If that's true, then come back with me to Detroit. We can have another chance together. Remember how great we used to be? Besides, there'll be nothing left here for you now."

Grace took a large sip of her vodka and tonic, closed her eyes and thought for a moment. She couldn't go back. It would be an even bigger fiasco than what she was facing here. She wasn't the same woman who'd left Detroit to start a new life after a difficult divorce, and she was still sober enough to realize it was not the time to be making a decision like this anyway. As they talked, the night became morning until they woke up on the couch together.

"Oh, God." She uttered. "Now I remember why I don't do this anymore." She winced, as her head throbbed and a wave of nausea took over.

"Your couch is definitely not meant for sleeping." He said rubbing his sore back. "Do you want some coffee? I'll make a pot if you show me where you keep everything." Steven offered.

"No, I don't think I could keep it down. I'm such an idiot. If I'd had half a mind I would have at least brought home a banana bag with me." She laughed a little as she tried to make light of the facet that her life felt like a complete disaster.

"I could run by County and pick one up for you."

"I'm kidding. It's probably only right that I atone for my sins anyway. It'll keep me from making this mistake again. Listen, Steven thanks for coming over, but I need to take a shower and get my head together, so…"

"You're kicking me out?"

"Yeah, I am. I just need to sort things out, but I do appreciate the company. Who would've thought that you of all people would be there for me in my hour of need?"

"I'm glad you felt you could confide in me, Grace. Makes me feel a little less guilty that I wasn't there for you before, when I should've been. But you're right, I need to get going. I have to stop by the hospital anyway."

"Good luck with the big day. I'm sure it'll be a great success."

As they said their goodbyes in the hall, Steven hugged Grace. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Thanks again for last night."

Unbeknownst to them, Romano had been on his way to see Grace, hoping that in the light of day, he could somehow apologize for hurting her. As he watched them from down the hall, he assumed they had spent the night together and his fears only seemed to be confirmed as he watched Grace cling tightly to Mancini before he kissed her cheek and walked away.


	20. The Hardest Word to Say

A.N. I'm so sorry for the delaying in posting. I've been really under the weather the past couple of weeks, but I'll do my best to get the next chapter up much sooner! Thanks for your patience.

**Chapter 20 – The Hardest Word to Say**

As her hangover wound down, snippets of her conversation with Romano came flooding back to her. She was in disbelief thinking about how much had changed in the span of a day and feeling sorry for herself, decided to take a walk down by the river. It usually made her feel better and she hoped today wouldn't be any different. She unexpectedly ran into Carter on his way to work.

"Hey."

"Hey, you. So, are the rumors true?"

"Yeah, I quit."

"Really? I don't believe it. You can't let Romano get to you."

"It's complicated, John."

"Far be it from me to say I told you so."

Grace just glared at him.

"I'm sorry, Grace. But you can't leave. You're too good for us to lose you. Can't you work this out somehow?"

"I don't think so. Things were said, too many things. Anyway today's a new day. I'm fine."

"I don't think you are. You look like hell."

"Thanks a lot!" She said, swatting him on the arm. "Well if I'm not now, I will be. Listen, thanks for being there, Carter. I'm really going to miss you." She said as they hugged each other.

"Call me if you need a reference. Are you really sure about this?"

Grace nodded and Carter began walking towards the hospital, but stopped and called back to her. "Look, I've got some time before my shift starts and I don't like leaving you like this. Let me buy you a coffee."

Grace welcomed the gesture and after she'd vented to him about her situation and filled him in on the details, they went their separate ways. As Carter walked towards the hospital, he became more incensed and promptly marched up to Romano's office once he arrived at the hospital.

"Dr. Carter, and to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" He said sarcastically.

Slamming the door, Carter approached Romano. "You pompous little prick! Grace quit because of you!"

"She did nothing of the sort."

"You treated her with a complete lack of respect and you humiliated her. I should smash your face in!" He said, gripping Romano's lab coat and holding a fist near his face.

"I'm still the Chief of Staff, Carter. Do you really want to be fired for insubordination and sued for assault? Not to mention potentially fracturing your valuable suturing hand?"

"You're right, you're not worth it!" Carter yelled and took a step back. "How could you do that to her, hmm? You know she had it bad for you? I have absolutely _no_ idea why, but for some unknown reason, she thought very highly of you. Your opinion mattered to her and then you go and destroy her like that? I hope you can sleep at night you fucking asshole!" Carter stormed out of the room before he lost all composure.

Romano knew it was true, all of it. He knew he had done irreparable damage to his relationship with the woman he held most dear in the world. And even he could not understand why. It had just been his way, his habit of lashing out when things went wrong. As long as there was someone to blame, it somehow seemed easier to deal with. With the earlier events of the day coupled with his petty jealousies, which were fueled by his encounter with Mancini, he had let himself begin to doubt what he had with Grace; the woman who had never done anything but make him feel so incredibly alive.

Soon it was Weaver who was knocking on his door. "Robert, it's Kerry."

He rolled his eyes as he told her to come in.

"There's been a development with what went on here yesterday with Grace."

"Yeah, she quit. Tell me something I don't know. You just missed Carter in here reading me the riot act." He barked.

"One of the housekeeping staff found a vial of epi in the trauma room. It looks like it got pushed behind some supplies on the counter and it's nearly full. It appears there's been a single dose removed from it…I think we might have made a terrible mistake blaming Grace for overmedicating that patient."

He looked at her in disbelief. "You're telling me _this_ is the epi vial she used?"

"It must be. She was adamant that she had only given him 5 mg and I believe this is the vial she used."

"So where the hell did the other one come from?"

"After further discussion with some of the overnight staff, Haleh told me they dropped an empty one during an early morning trauma. That must have been the one Chuny found and assumed incorrectly it was the vial Grace used."

Romano was furious. "Assumed incorrectly? Do you know what we've done here, Kerry? We've just ruined a girl's nursing career and even worse…"

"Her career isn't ruined, Robert, and technically she was still intoxicated."

"And probably still more fit than any one of the residents after a 36 hour shift! Jesus Christ, Kerry!" He said throwing a chart across the room. "This entire incident need never have happened!"

"Calm down, Robert. I haven't filed the paperwork from her resignation yet. We still have time to offer her position back. However, as Chief of Staff, that decision is up to you."

"Oh, and you think she'll take the offer, after the way she's been treated?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who lambasted her and hung her out to dry. That's all on your head, Robert." Kerry's pager went off, "I've got to run, it's the ER. Let me know what you want to do with this before the end of the day otherwise I'll send the paperwork up to human resources."

Sitting alone after Weaver closed the door, he wondered how he could ever begin to repair the damage that had been done. He needed to get to her, to try to make her understand, if it wasn't already too late.

He wasted no time driving to Grace's apartment and was relieved when she answered the door. Looking tired, she stood in the doorway, but didn't offer to let him inside.

"I don't have anything more to say to you." She said calmly.

"Well, I sure as hell do. It's important. Please let me in?"

"What's the point, Robert?"

"I have some news that I need to discuss with you right away."

Begrudgingly, she let him in and listened quietly as he explained about the missing vial.

"So I was subjected to being humiliated and berated, all because of a mix up?" She said so angry, her hands started to shake.

"Grace, you need to understand my state of mind when I walked into that meeting yesterday."

"Do I? _I_ need to understand that you can overreact and fly off the handle and treat people with a complete lack of respect…what, all because you had a bad day? I guess your ego knows no bounds."

"It's not that black and white. Mancini had just…"

Grace cut him off, "Now you're trying to blame this on Steven? We all have choices to make, Robert. Why don't you just admit it was easier for you and Weaver to jump to conclusions than do a full investigation of what really happened? Weaver is one thing, that damn bitch practically got on her knees, begging me to work, but you…you didn't trust me when I told you what happened, and you didn't believe in me." She said with a deep sadness in her eyes.

It was killing him to see that look directed at him. He reached over to touch her and she pulled away.

"If you're here to offer me my job back, don't bother."

"Connor's surgery is tomorrow. You could still be a part of it."

"No, I can't, because in the state of mind I'm in right now, I _know_ I'm not fit to do my job. I realize that I wouldn't be focused on Connor and that is what being a good nurse is about. Stepping back and admitting when the patient's life may be at risk and putting their needs ahead of our own."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not just talking about what happened yesterday?"

"I had an interesting chat with Carter today. Do you remember Christmas Eve, a few years ago? You were at a party and Dr. Benton was operating on a patient without an attending."

"What?"

"I'm sure you must remember, but if not, I'll be happy to remind you. You came back from a party after your beloved Elizabeth had stood you up and you walked into the OR with a blood alcohol level of .12."

He was quiet for a moment. "Grace, that was a completely different set of circumstances and there was a lot more to it than that."

"I'll bet there was, especially for the Chief of Staff or were you just the Chief of Surgery back then? Just how drunk are _you_ allowed to be when you're performing surgery?"

"But I didn't operate."

"Only because Benton stopped you."

"This has nothing to do with us, here and now Grace."

"It shouldn't, but it does in a strange way. Knowing that you were in a much worse position makes the way you treated me even more tough to take."

"I still love you, Grace."

She laughed a little and shook her head, "You know I can't figure out what it is about me, that lends itself to men telling me they love me and then turning around and doing the complete opposite. Steven _'loved'_ me so much that he lied and cheated on me. You say you love me, but when I needed you the most, you completely let me down. I was the one person who loved and accepted you in every way and if this is what _love_ is, I think I'm better off without it."

"Fine, forget about me for a minute. You're not thinking about all this in the long-term."

"It's true, I may be running away from my responsibilities at County, but I'm not interested in playing political games to try to further my career. I was happy being an ER nurse and really proud of my work, but I just can't go back there and be reminded of…everything."

"So there's nothing I can say to change your mind?"

She simply shook her head.

"I am sorry, Grace." Romano said, turning to leave. "I hope you two will be happy together."

She looked at him somewhat bewildered as he walked down the hall, confused at his final comment.


	21. Between the Head and the Heart

**Chapter 21 – Between the Head and the Heart**

The next day, Grace stayed in bed until mid-afternoon. Ignoring phone messages from Susan, Carter and Abby, as well as several apologetic ones from Chuny, Grace didn't feel much like talking to anyone. She wondered how the surgery was progressing, but wasn't curious enough to venture down to County to find out.

It was well into the evening when her phone rang again, waking her up. "Grace, it's me. I just wanted to let you know we just finished and everything went well. Looks like Connor's well on his way to making a full recovery." Steven said.

Grace's eyes lit up, "That's wonderful news! I'm so glad to hear it, I knew he was in good hands." She glanced over at the clock to see what time it was. "It's pretty late, did you run into any trouble?"

"It just took a bit longer than we'd hoped, but nothing we couldn't handle."

"And what about Robert?"

"He was his usual charming self."

"You know what I mean, did you two get into it?"

"It was all business, Grace. But we missed you in there."

"I'm sure no one even batted an eye. County has some great nurses and any one of them could have filled in."

"No, they couldn't, Grace. You're one in a million."

Ignoring him as she sensed his compliment rang somewhat hollow, she changed the subject, "So, I guess you'll be leaving tomorrow?"

"I'm on a late afternoon flight. I'll be checking on Connor in the morning and if all's well, I'll leave him in County's capable hands from here on. I was hoping we could get together for lunch before I go."

Grace hesitated.

"Come on, it's the last time you'll ever have to lay eyes on me."

"Actually there is something I'd like to talk to you about." She added.

"My rental had engine trouble so I had to take a cab today. Why don't you swing by the hospital and pick me up around one, and then I can get you to drop me at the airport after lunch. If it's not too much trouble?"

"Fine. Meet me at Doc Magoo's across from the ER and we'll leave from there." Grace was worried she might run into some of the ER staff, but it was safer than waiting for him inside the hospital.

She rolled over and turned on the late news just in time to catch a quick story update on Connor and struggled with wanting to call Romano. Regardless of what had gone on, she admired his surgical skills and knew that a great deal of the success of the day belonged to him. After typing and deleting several drafts, she finally decided to send him an email.

_'I saw you on the evening news and wanted to congratulate you and the team on your great success. I'm so glad to hear Connor's doing well and hope you'll give everyone my best wishes.'_

* * *

Steven got held up in the hospital and was late arriving for lunch, so they decided to eat at Magoo's to avoid him missing his plane. Once they'd ordered, Grace had a few questions for her ex. She couldn't get Romano's comment out of her mind and was bothered by a nagging feeling that Steven knew more than he was letting on.

She stared at him intently across the booth and began firing away. "I know you ran into Robert the other day, after we came back from lunch at Tru. What did you say to him?"

"Nothing much." He shrugged.

She eyed him carefully trying to determine if he was lying to her. Since arriving in Chicago he'd tried on several occasions to show her he had changed, but she didn't want to get taken in by him again. Her gut instinct told her he was lying.

"I don't buy it. You must have said something to push his buttons."

"Why, because it's not like him to berate his own staff? We both know he looks forward to it."

"But not with me. This was different, it was personal." She said, digging in her heels.

"Babe, you need to let it go. You're so much better off without him. Don't upset yourself by dredging all this up."

"You told him about the kiss, didn't you? What exactly did you say?" She demanded.

"You know, just the truth. That we kissed."

"The truth is that _you _kissed me, while I was distracted by my phone ringing."

"Semantics." He grinned. "You did kiss me back, babe."

"You're completely delusional, Steven! So that's why he was so pissed off when he came into my meeting with Weaver."

"You can't blame _me_ for the way he treated you, Grace, he did that all by himself. It just goes to prove you two couldn't have been very solid if it only took the mention of one little kiss to turn everything upside down. He should have had more faith in you than that."

"You knew exactly how he'd react! The two of you have been in a pissing contest ever since you arrived."

"I just wanted to ruffle his feathers a little, but come on, Grace. I couldn't have known he'd run straight to a disciplinary review and tear you apart. Even _I'm_ not that calculating."

"He never would have been so callous if you hadn't filled his head with jealousy and doubt about us!"

"Romano is what he is, Grace. You and I both know he's not the warm fuzzy type, but I suppose it's easier for you to blame me, than to admit he acted the same way he would have, with or without my little revelation."

Grace stared at Mancini and mulled over his last comment as she tossed the bill at him. "I need to get out of here. I will take great satisfaction dumping you at the airport so I can be sure you get you the hell out of my life once and for all."

"Think about it, Grace. You know I'm right." He said as they walked out of the diner and towards her car.

Susan and Abby had run out into the ambulance bay to wait for the paramedics, and saw the two of them walking together towards Grace's car. Susan called out to Grace, but they were too far away to hear anything over the sound of the approaching ambulance's sirens.

Once the patient had been stabilized, Susan and Abby were talking to Carter about Grace, just as Romano came out of trauma two.

"It's too bad about Grace leaving. She was one of our best nurses." Susan said.

"And a good friend." Carter added. "Have you spoken to her since…?"

"I left her a couple of messages but she hasn't called me back yet. You know I just saw her leaving Doc Magoo's with her ex-husband." Susan said.

"Really?" Carter commented. "I hope she's not planning to go back to Detroit with him."

"I can't believe how good looking he is." Abby added. "Too bad all the hot ones are dogs."

"Some days I think they're all dogs." Susan replied.

As they turned around, they finally noticed Romano standing there, and it was obvious he'd overheard their conversation. They all looked intently at each other, although no one spoke a word. Abby, Carter and Susan each grabbed a chart and took off for the nearest patient, leaving Romano standing alone near the admit desk as everyone else in the vicinity avoided making eye contact with him. While few knew about his personal relationship with Grace, they all knew Romano was the reason she'd quit.

He went back upstairs to his office and checked his email for the first time in days. With hundreds of unread messages, he glanced down the list until his eye caught sight of Grace's name and opened her email immediately. He was surprised she'd bothered to communicate with him after the way they'd left things and reading it made him feel even worse. In spite of everything, she'd opted to take the high road and reach out with a kind word, when he felt he really didn't deserve it.

* * *

Grace seethed quietly as she drove her ex to the airport. She kept running over the week's events in her mind trying to decide if what Steven had said to her had any merit. Just as he had done with Romano, Mancini had managed to plant a seed of doubt in her mind and even though he was on his way back to Detroit, he was certain he had caused enough trouble to break them up. _My work here is done,_ he thought smugly as he waved goodbye to Grace as she sped off without looking back.


	22. The Wheels Keep Turning

A.N. For those of you still hanging in, I hope this chapter won't disappoint. It's a love it or hate it chapter, but I hope you'll continue along with me to the end. The feedback has been great and it keeps me going, so please feel free to let me know if you think I'm on the right track.

**Chapter 22 – The Wheels Keep Turning**

After flip flopping back and forth, wondering if she should set the record straight with Romano about the so-called Mancini kiss, Grace finally decided against it. Call it pride, stubbornness or sheer stupidity, Grace decided that even if Romano had bought into Steven's story, it didn't warrant his harsh reaction. She felt Romano should have known Steven was lying and she simply couldn't erase the sound of his voice as he tore into her, while he questioned her medical fitness and blamed her for the patient's death.

The next day, Romano received a call from Mercy Hospital, looking for a reference on Grace. After overhearing Susan's comment, he had assumed she would move back to Detroit, and was somewhat surprised she was staying in Chicago. He gave her a glowing recommendation, but declined to give a reason as to why she'd left.

Grace started her new job later the same week and settled in fairly quickly. She missed her friends at County, but most of all, she missed Robert. She missed his sarcasm, his rants at the interns and of course, his touch. But each time she remembered how loving he had been, a rush of painful memories flooded back when she thought about the night it all fell apart.

Now working in the same hospital where her own doctor ran a weekly clinic, Grace finally followed up with the tests Romano had recommended after her appendectomy.

"Grace, nice to see you." Her doctor said.

"Sorry it took me so long to follow up with you, it's been pretty busy."

"The life of an ER nurse." The doctor said, smiling.

"So, what's up? You don't usually bring me back in unless you found something. Is it serious?" Grace asked.

"All your metabolic tests came back normal, so I have no concerns about your low blood pressure during the surgery. I think it's safe to say you just didn't respond well to the anesthetic. Your bp tends to be on the low side, but it's still within the normal range."

"Great, so is that it?"

"There was something else."

"But you said I was fine."

"Don't get me wrong, you're healthy, Grace. But I would hazard a guess by your reaction you're not aware that you're pregnant."

Her initial reaction was to laugh. "Yeah, right. We both know that's impossible."

Her doctor was silent.

"I can't have kids, I have too much scar tissue. There's no way I can be pregnant. Run the test again."

"The test is accurate, Grace. We ran blood and urine. I thought you'd be happy to hear the news."

"No, it's wrong. It's just not possible…Oh God!" She said and ran to the adjacent bathroom to vomit. _This can't be happening! _She thought to herself. Grace hadn't worried too much about using contraceptives. They'd told her years ago that pregnancy was as likely as being struck by lightening and after being married for years without so much as a skipped period, she never expected this. As she began counting the weeks in her head, she realized she had missed her last cycle, but assumed it was due to stress. She composed herself and returned to her doctor.

"Are you okay, Grace? I've got a prescription here for you for prenatal vitamins and I want to see you back in a month. I'll go ahead and schedule an ultrasound in a couple of weeks to see how far along you are."

Her mind was reeling as she tried to figure out what to do next. She knew she had to tell him he was going to be a father. Her emotions the past couple of weeks had been all over the map, and she had tried not to think about all the what ifs. She was trying to move on with a new job and new life, without him. Feeling completely alone, she was desperate to share the news with someone to elicit some much needed support, but she couldn't take a chance telling any of her old friends at County until she'd first spoken to Romano.

Since the day of the doctor's appointment, her morning sickness had kicked into high gear and she decided to wait until it had subsided a little, before contacting him. This was also in part because she was having trouble screwing up the courage to call him, so she chickened out and left him a voicemail on his office phone, when she was fairly sure he wouldn't be there to answer. She couldn't bring herself to talk to him directly, at least not yet.

Romano was beyond surprised and initially thrilled when he got her message, but it was tempered with reserve as he wondered why he was hearing from her now. He called her back and left her a message, telling her to page him whenever she was free.

As she was leaving for work the next day, she paged him and asked him to meet her on the path by the river, across from County. Grace stood nervously as she looked out over the water and was overcome with another wave of nausea. She sipped on a bottle of ginger ale and was thankful for the cool breeze, which seemed to help the feeling to pass. When she finally saw him approaching, she immediately sat down on the nearest bench, suddenly feeling too weak to stand.

Trying not to get his hopes up, he smiled cautiously and tried to give her a hug. "I'm so glad you called, Grace."

"Sit down, Robert. Please." She replied, with almost no emotion in her voice.

"Is there something wrong, you didn't sound like yourself when you called? Did your test results come back?" He said, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Yes, they ran the tests and something did come back positive. Something I never expected in a million years."

"What is it? You have me worried sick."

"Robert I came to tell you something, something I feel is only fair for you to know." He looked into her eyes and she could feel herself melting inside.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." He said quietly.

She turned away, a tear giving way from the corner of her eye. He took her hand and gently turned her face back towards him.

"Please tell me what it is, Grace. You look so pale."

"I'm pregnant."

Silent initially, he was completely stunned by her news. "You're pregnant?"

She nodded, unable to speak and hanging by a thread as she waited for his reaction.

"But I thought that was impossible?"

"I know, I thought so too. But here I am. Here we are." She said, averting her eyes as her hands started to shake.

"Is it mine?" He challenged.

The words tore into her as she looked up at him. "Did you really just say that?"

"I think it's only fair for me to know if the munchkin has my DNA or Mancini's."

"Of course it's _yours_!" She yelled. "I can't _believe_ you actually think I slept with him and hey, newsflash, _you_ were the one I was in love with!"

Her use of the past tense didn't go unnoticed. "I know he spent the night with you. I saw him leaving your apartment, the morning after you quit."

Looking confused, she replied, "You saw him? Oh for God sakes, Robert. He slept on the couch…I knew this was a mistake. I never should have called you!" She added, rising from the bench and turning away from him.

"Hey! You don't get to just walk away again!"

"Watch me." She replied.

Grabbing her arm, he stared directly into her eyes and asked her the pressing question. "So you didn't sleep with him?"

"No…and I didn't kiss him either, I pushed him away. You believed all his lies, because you didn't have enough faith in me to trust what _I_ was telling you."

He closed his eyes, knowing she was right and replied softly, "I was afraid of losing you."

"Well you did anyway. Look, I just came here to tell you, I don't expect anything. But in the end, you'll have to decide what you really believe." She said quietly.

"I know I fucked up, royally. I did, I admit it. But I love you, Grace. I miss you and I want you, and I beat myself up thinking about what I had with you. This is a sign that we that we deserve a second chance."

"This doesn't change anything." She reminded him, still hurt from the thought that Steven's biting words held true.

"It changes everything." He replied bluntly.

"We're obviously not compatible, you don't trust me, I _can't _trust you and we're both moving on."

"No. I won't let you walk out of my life again, do you hear me?" Finally breaking down, tears were running down her face as Romano took her into his arms, and held her tightly. "I know nothing about 'us' has been easy, but that's why we need to keep trying, until we get it right. We can make up for what we've done to each other and give this kid a fighting chance. Please, Grace. Won't you give us another chance?"

Wiping her cheek, she cleared her throat and pulled herself together, putting on a brave face. "I have to get to work, Robert. I have an appointment for an ultrasound next week, if you want to come."

"Just tell me when and where. Gracie…"

"Just give me some time, okay?" She finally had the nerve to look back up at him and couldn't help but smile back at him. Hopeful, he returned her gesture and stroked her cheek.

"Are you feeling okay? Are you taking vitamins? Are you…?"

"I'm okay. I know what to do."

"Of course you do."

"The appointment's at Mercy on Wednesday. 8 am, 6th floor. Look, if you want, I can ask for an in-utero paternity test."

"I believe you Grace."

"Okay, so, I'll meet you there, unless you aren't able to make it."

"Are you sure you don't want a ride? What if your car…"

"It's fine, Robert." She said and sat back down on the bench for a moment and ran her hands through her hair. She felt emotionally drained and nauseous again. "I guess it's kind of a relief to have finally told you. To be honest, I was a bit terrified about how you'd react."

"How did you think I would take the news?" He sounded defensive.

"Come on, you don't exactly exude parental qualities. Neither do I for that matter, and I know you never planned on having kids."

"I'm glad you called me, Gracie. What made you do it?"

She smiled, "It was the right thing to do. But just so you know, I debated tossing you into the river when you starting acting like a jerk about the whole thing."

He grinned, knowing her sarcasm was a positive sign. "It's great to see you, Grace."

"I look like absolute crap."

"Not to me."

After a few silent moments, Grace added. "I'm scared, Robert."

He looked at her with more tenderness and warmth than she'd ever seen from him before. "Don't be, Grace. You know Rocket Romano never lets anything happen to pretty girls like you."


	23. Seeing is Believing

**Chapter 23 – Seeing is Believing**

The following week at the ultrasound appointment, Grace was waiting in the exam room, growing more nervous by the minute as Romano had still not arrived. She was a little anxious to begin with, and with each passing moment she couldn't help but wonder if he would actually show up. The technician came in and smiled, and was about to start when Grace interrupted. "Can we wait a few more minutes? The baby's father hasn't arrived yet."

"I'm sorry, but we're booked solid. I really need to begin." She said apologetically.

"That's okay, the sooner we start, the better. I feel like I'm going to float away." Grace joked, feeling ready to burst after drinking 8 glasses of water. She lay back as the tech poured the cold gel onto her abdomen and tried to concentrate on enjoying the moment, getting to see her baby for the first time.

As the technician put the probe onto Grace's abdomen, they both heard a commotion outside in the hall. Grace looked up and smiled, recognizing Romano's voice. He burst into the room and walked over to Grace.

"Sorry, I got held up in the ER with an MVA."

"It's okay, we haven't started yet." She smiled. "Besides, I'm used to you making an entrance."

"Nurse Ratched and her cronies out there seemed reluctant to let me come in. They threatened to call security until I told them I was County's Chief of Staff and could have them all fired with one phone call."

"How many of them did you bring to tears?"

"Just one or two." He said.

"Let's get started, shall we?" The technician said.

Grace whispered, "Thanks for coming."

He reached down to hold her hand as they watched the screen intently and Grace held her breath hoping for good news.

After a few moments, the technician spoke up. "Everything looks good. I just need to finish up my measurements, so it will just be another minute or two. Of course you can both see the heart beating here. It's a good, strong beat. Next time you'll be far enough along to determine the sex."

"I can hardly believe this, it's so incredible to see such a tiny little person moving inside me!"

"Hearing the heartbeat is one thing, but seeing it…" He said wistfully.

"Seeing it makes it real." She replied. Romano was so quiet, Grace wasn't sure what he was thinking. She turned and spoke to the technician. "It's such a relief to know the baby's healthy."

Once they were alone, Grace turned back to Romano. "Well, I'd better get dressed and you need to get back to County."

"I have a few minutes. Are you off to work or do you need a ride home?"

"I'm off for a few days. I took the EL, my car's in the shop again. That piece of shit has been way more trouble than it's worth." She said.

"That's just what you said the night we met in the parkade."

"Some things never change, I'm still on the lookout for backup transportation." She said as she stood up. She had to steady herself by holding onto the exam table after suddenly feeling woozy.

"You don't look well enough to get home on your own."

"It's just this damn morning sickness. Some days it lasts until late afternoon. Best diet I've ever been on." She joked.

"Grace, let me take you home."

"Robert, you don't have to."

"I know I don't _have_ to. Just let me do _something_ and stop being so stubborn."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Okay, truth? I would love a ride home. Do you have time for me to pick up some ginger ale on the way?"

"Maybe I should bring you with me back to County? You might need an IV. How dehydrated are you?"

"I just need some sleep." She yawned.

He eyed her suspiciously, but took solace in the fact that he could get her home safely now, and come back after his shift to check on her.

When he came back much later in the day, he was concerned when it took her so long to answer the door.

"You look awful," He said, sounding worried.

"Well at least I look the way I feel. You don't have that IV with you by chance, do you?"

"Actually I do, but I really think you need to be admitted."

"I don't think I can face all their questions right now. Please, can't you just give me the IV here?" She pleaded and he knew he couldn't say no to her.

"Well, I'm not leaving until you make a drastic improvement in your condition or I will throw you over my shoulder and take you with me to the ER."

She got back into bed and he hooked up the IV.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, it's not my forte."

"Is that the sound of a surgeon finally admitting there's something a nurse can do better?" She quipped.

She finally dosed off after managing to eat a piece of toast, and Romano stayed with her. Once she was in a deeper sleep, he lay beside her and stroked her hair. He was filled with exuberance and sadness all at the same time. The woman he loved was having his child, but he could only watch from a distance, although he did take it as a positive sign that she had allowed him to help her.

Later on, he got up to check the IV and changed over to a second bag. He watched her sleeping peacefully and hoped she wouldn't have to go through more discomfort. He fell asleep thinking about how incredible it had been, seeing their baby on the ultrasound.

When Grace woke up the next morning, Romano had just finished tying off the IV. "You're still here. Is that a bad sign?"

"You look a lot better. How do you feel?"

"Much improved. I think the IV really did the trick."

"You went through two litres."

"Really? I guess I didn't realize how dehydrated I was."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really. I've never really been one for breakfast."

As they both struggled with the awkwardness of the situation, Grace was the first to break the silence. "Listen, Robert, thank you for everything. You've been so great about all this and I'm sorry I've been so much trouble. I know you must have had to cancel patients to be with me, but don't worry, I have no intention of calling you every five minutes for pickles and ice cream. I refuse to become one of _those_ women."

"Are you nuts?"

"Pardon?"

"I _am_ the one who put you in this condition not to mention all the stress you've been under has probably made you feel even worse these past weeks. You aren't a burden to me, Grace."

"Well, you know I don't like admitting when I need help, let alone taking it when it's offered, even if it is for my own good. But I didn't want to risk the baby's health over my own stubborn stupidity."

"Smart move."

"I just…"

"What is it?"

"I know it freaked you out, yesterday. Seeing the baby and I just feel so guilty about all this." She turned away, "You probably blame me for not being more careful."

"You didn't do this alone, Grace and about yesterday… it's not what you think. Over the years I've seen thousands of scans, but this was different. Our baby is what you and I did right together."

She turned back and smiled and glanced down at her watch, "Well, you'd better be on your way. I'm sure you've got some interns you need to scare the pants off of."

"Gracie…"

"I'll be fine, I've got the morning talk shows, followed by the soaps, and the Blackhawks are on at 6. Besides, if I get really bored I could always read one of the thoughtful books my mother bought me for Christmas – _'Smart Women, Foolish Choices'_,_ 'How to Stop Dating Losers'_, oh and this one's my favorite,_ 'Divorced, Desperate and Dating'._" She smiled, pointing to the stack of books on her coffee table.

He grinned, "Proving that mother doesn't always know best."

"I know her heart's in the right place, but believe me, it wasn't just a failed marriage I was anxious to leave behind in Detroit." As the words left her lips, she was sorry she'd mentioned the topic at all.

"Grace, I want you to come stay with me. At least until you're past the first trimester."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Robert. Let's just take things slow."

"What if something happens to you? You're here all alone and you don't have any family living in Chicago."

"You're just a pager call away."

"That's not good enough. Look it's my baby too, I want to make sure you both receive the best care possible."

"We will. I'll see to it."

"I know you will, but you don't have to do this alone. Let me be part of it. I have enough regret already. Besides, knowing who sired you, you have to expect this won't be an easy pregnancy."

She grinned, "You're probably right, Romano. Look, I'll think about it. But you're going to be late, now go. Malucci must be due for a reprimand or some intern must be running around waiting to do some scut work. You can fill me in tomorrow."

"No, later today. I'll swing by after my shift to check on you."

"But…"

"Case closed. The Rocket has spoken." He said and she conceded a smile. He leaned in to kiss her on the forehead as he was leaving, but stopped short, "You may want to think about having a shower! You smell awful!"

He stopped back at Grace's about 8. She had managed a shower, but was back to severe vomiting and had been able to keep little down since the morning.

"You need to come with me and I'm not taking no for an answer."

"The infamous Rocket Romano bachelor pad. I can only imagine."

"Well it beats living down here with the vagrants and crackheads".

"They're only around at night, most of them sleep during the day. I feel perfectly safe here."

"Which is another good reason for you to stay with me. I won't take a chance on you getting mugged, or worse."

She made another dash to the bathroom. When she emerged, looking pale and worn out, she finally conceded. "Okay, you win. I put together a few things earlier today, just in case." He smiled, knowing she did not really intend to fight him on this, although she had tried to put on a convincing show.

"Can you make it downstairs or do you want me to carry you?"

"No, I can manage. I just need a couple of plastic bags. I don't want to puke all over your Jag."

"Nice. Come on."

After a fairly short ride without need of the bags, they arrived at his building, complete with all the comforts you could imagine.

They made their way up to the penthouse, to Robert's apartment.

"The Penthouse? I'm impressed."

"I don't apologize for enjoying the fruits of my labor, Grace. I used to live in a Brownstone, but I moved here after my dog Gretel died last year."

"Oh I'm sorry, Robert. I never knew you had a dog. Look, I'm not knocking it, believe me. A girl could get used to this place pretty fast." She felt another wave of nausea rush over her, just as they went inside and she managed to spare the white carpet by bolting into a small bathroom near the front door.

He took her bag into the master bedroom and after she had recovered, she made her way around the massive suite in search of him. When she found him, she protested immediately. "I can't put you out of your own bed, Robert."

He glared at her, "Grace, you'll stay where I tell you to stay. Besides, it's big enough for two in case I need to be here with you when you're really sick."

Too tired to fight, she conceded. "You're the boss."

"Glad to see you remember something from the old days."

"This place is amazing," She commented as she made her way through each room.

"Come on, I think we should get you into bed."

"Same old Robert."

"That's right, Grace. I lured you here in between your bouts of vomiting and dehydration with the sole intention of having my way with you."

She chuckled, and was relieved they were making headway from the tension she'd felt the day she told him about the baby. She missed him and being with him, although she didn't feel quite ready to tell him just yet. Romano was thrilled he'd managed to convince her to come and stay with him and hoped he could make amends. He had no intention of blowing his chance at redemption.

She changed and crawled into bed, while Romano got her something to drink.

"God, this bed is unbelievable. All those nights at my place and you never once brought me here. How come?"

"Your place was closer. If you recall, we seemed to have a certain sense of urgency to get to the nearest bedroom."

"Hence the reason I'm in this condition and now, ironically, sex is the last thing on my mind. Mother nature has a perverse sense of humor when it comes to hormones. Nonetheless, you might not get your bed back for a while. I feel like I could sleep for a week."

After a moment she added, "Will you lay here with me for a while?"

"Sure, anything you want." He said, surprised that she had asked him to stay. "From that window, you can see County and the river." He said.

"This is a beautiful place, Robert. I'm feeling very spoiled right now."

"Good. I want you to be spoiled. You're carrying the child of the finest surgeon in the entire midwest. Only the best for you, Grace."

"Let's hope it doesn't have your ego."

"I hope she looks exactly like you, you're so beautiful."

"Robert…"

"What is it, Grace?"

She wanted to say it, to tell him, but she just couldn't. She was afraid and wondered if he was doing this out of a sense of obligation or for all the right reasons.

"Nothing. I forgot what I was going to say."


	24. When the Walls Came Down

AN – I know it's been a while since I've updated this story and I fully deserve my forty lashings. In the beginning it was due to the fact that my very old pc became infected with a virulent virus and after several unsuccessful attempts to eradicate it, I finally threw in the towel and bought myself a new one. Next came my heavy workload, followed by extensive homework from my night courses, and then it was the little matter of the build up to the end of the show we've all come to know and love (sigh…) and it's never easy saying goodbye to an old friend. Thanks again for reading & for your patience!

**Chapter 24 – When the Walls Came Down**

It didn't take long for Grace to get used to Romano's penthouse suite and all the luxuries that went with it. She especially enjoyed the large Jacuzzi tub that made her feel like a queen whenever she bathed in it.

Days quickly turned into weeks and Grace was now over the worst of the morning sickness. She only had the occasional wave of nausea when she smelled something pungent and had started to noticeably gain weight. It seemed like overnight none of her clothes fit her and Romano chuckled as he came upon her trying to do up her jeans one morning.

"I'm glad this is so amusing to you. You did this to me, you know? I'm blaming you for the fact that I have no waistline anymore."

"Guilty as charged."

"I'm running out of clothes that fit." As she struggled in vain to button her jeans to no avail, she added, "Damn it!"

"Well, pregnancy usually has that affect."

Grace suddenly turned serious and stared out the bedroom window. "You know, now that I'm feeling so much better, the baby's fine and obviously growing by the day along with my belly…I guess it's time for me to move back home."

He was quiet, secretly hoping this day would not come, certainly not so soon. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible. "Is that what you want?"

Turning back towards him, she said, "You've put your life on hold for me these past weeks, Robert. I don't want you to resent the fact that my being here has made you change how you live your life. You're used to living alone, I'm sure you're desperate to have your own space again and I think I've put you out of your bed long enough."

"I haven't asked you to leave."

"No, but you wouldn't would you?"

"Okay, fine, I wouldn't. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't think you should go. I thought you liked staying here, with me." He said, walking towards her and standing so that she would be forced to look him in the eye.

"I do, I have. You've been amazing but…"

"Then why think about leaving? I've kind of enjoyed watching your waistline grow," he smiled, stroking her hair. "That…and knowing you'll be here when I come home. I don't want you to go, Grace." He said, pulling her towards him. He caressed her slightly protruding belly and kissed her gently. He had been restraining himself from any sexual advances since Grace had moved in with him, but he could hold back no more and decided it was time to take action.

Grace, feeling the effects of the second trimester's surge of hormones, embraced the kiss. She had forgotten how wonderful it felt to be enveloped by his mouth, his body pressing against hers and the way her own body responded instinctively to his touch. He widened the kiss and she encouraged him, as her tongue met his own with a deep sense of urgency. As they became more passionate in their embrace, Grace let out an audible moan, and it soon began to feel as though they'd never been apart.

As they both enjoyed each other with reckless abandon, it was clear that even though they'd been through the emotional wringer, all differences aside, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. As he frantically explored her body as though for the first time, Romano reacted to the pregnancy's affect on her breast size and grinned, as if very satisfied with himself. Grace let him guide her towards the bed and he carefully laid her down. As they fumbled with buttons and zippers, each could not deny the intense passion with which they both wanted and needed this. Grace felt like she was on fire, as though every touch and caress was intensified and Romano could think about little else in the moment aside from the fact that he was about to have what he'd longed for, for so long.

He was eager to taste every inch of her and once again, feel the sensuous rapture that to him, was pure heaven. As Grace pulled him down on top of her, she could feel his firm arousal, and quickly took matters into her own hands, literally, as he let out a lusty groan.

They stopped momentarily, breathless, and sat up so Romano could help her remove her tank top. He gazed longingly at her, while Grace took the opportunity to rid him of his shirt as well, and ran her fingers over his warm, smooth skin. Desperate to retrace her steps with her lips, she leaned in and seized one of his nipples in her mouth, teasing him with her tongue, while he ran his fingers through her hair.

She stopped briefly to look up at him for a moment before making her way back to his hot, inviting mouth to begin another round of long, deep, juicy encounters.

The more Grace responded, allowing herself to get completely lost in pure, physical pleasure, the harder Romano could feel himself becoming. She had nearly forgotten how he made her feel like she was the most desirable woman in the world and with each kiss, he was closer to completely consuming her with his ravenous lust.

Grace knew she could drive him wild with desire and she wanted so much to please him in every way. The wait had been too long for both of them and it was about to erupt in waves of sexual ecstasy.

Romano kissed her stomach, knowing it drove her insane and took his time to enjoy every inch of her soft skin near her navel. His hand slid up the inside of her thigh and Grace began to arch her back, urging him to continue. Taking her cue, he began covering the inside of her thighs with small, sensual kisses. She could feel his warm breath precariously near her core and she continued to breathe heavily in anticipation. He was enjoying teasing her and he knew that in doing so, she was going to have the most incredible orgasm of her life.

To be so close and not achieve satisfaction was too much for Grace and she cried out, begging Romano to take her. Succumbing to their previously unfulfilled and long awaited desire had brought them both to a level of unequalled euphoric indulgence.

Finding their way back to the gratifying pleasure of sexual familiarity, they became intoxicated from a mere taste of this once forbidden fruit, as their appetite for each other proved to be insatiable.

Grace was somewhat embarrassed when she finally rolled over, post-coital. She had never been so free and uninhibited in all her life and was suddenly very self conscious. Romano was still enjoying the moment, reeling from the pleasure they had finally given into and confident that they were now back on track.

"I can't believe how much I needed that." She grinned, still a bit breathless.

"I think I could get used to being ravaged by a hormone-crazed woman every day."

"Who says it would be every day?"

"I've heard about the second trimester, Grace. Once a day might not be enough for a hot thing like you."

"There are other ways to get a release, Robert."

"Anything that uses batteries wouldn't be as much fun as I am." He said, rolling over as he began to devour her once more. "I'll never get enough of you, Grace." He allowed the kiss to linger while he pulled her back on top of him.

"We'll just see about that." She challenged, as they began round two.

As they recovered from the latest erotic interlude, Grace rolled over and turned to Romano. "Robert, do you think the only reason this happened is because of the baby?"

"Sometimes the end justifies the means. Does it matter how we got here?"

"I just don't want you to feel obligated, trapped…"

"Have you ever known me to do something I didn't want to do?"

"I suppose, but…Look, Robert, there's something I need to tell you…I've been putting it off, but I can't in good conscience keep quiet any longer. Even though it might change the way you feel about me, I have to get this off my chest."

He looked at her intently, giving her his full attention as his mind raced in anticipation of what she was about to say.

Grace couldn't look him in the eye and rolled onto her back to gaze up at the ceiling instead. "When I was in my first year of college, I got pregnant, even though we had been careful. The relationship wasn't really that serious and we were both so young, me especially. He was finishing his forth year and had just been given a full scholarship to Oxford, due to leave the same week we got the news. We both felt we were way too young to take on a baby, so…" she paused, taking in a deep breath and turning back to face him, "We decided the best option for both of us was to end the pregnancy." Romano said nothing, as he processed what she was saying.

Grace continued on. "The procedure didn't go well and I was left with a lot of scar tissue which is the reason I was told I could never conceive again. I've always been a believer in Karma and for a long time I felt I was being punished for doing such a thing. The whole experience was much harder to deal with than I ever could have imagined, but I just don't know how I could have possibly raised a child by myself, when I still had so much growing up to do."

He eyed her for a moment and thought carefully before responding. "You never talked about this as an option for us. I've often wondered if you considered it. You could have done it and I never would have known, but you didn't."

"I couldn't, I wouldn't! The thought never even crossed my mind. My life's in a completely different place now." She said, looking deeply into his eyes. "After getting over the initial shock, I was too ecstatic at having a second chance, and even though we weren't together, the way I feel about you, Robert…" she said, as a tear rolled down from the corner of her eye.

"How do you feel, Grace?"

Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at him, "You really have to ask? Being with you just now…Robert, it was the world." She took a deep breath and continued on, finally saying what she'd been too afraid to tell him, for so long. "I can't imagine having this baby with anyone else. Try as I may, I can never seem to get you out of my mind for very long and truth be told, I love coming home to you every day. You challenge me on many levels, you make me laugh, and yes, sometimes you drive me absolutely crazy. But I've never felt about anyone the way I feel when I'm with you, and it scares me to think about how agonizing it was when we weren't together." Having the courage to be completely vulnerable, she completely poured her heart out to him for the first time. "Oh, God Robert, do you think I'm a despicable person for doing it? Does it change things, now that you know?"

He shook his head no and took her hands in his. He looked intensely into her eyes and stroked her hair. "You're a beautiful, incredible, sexy, strong, stubborn woman who's made me feel more alive than I could've ever imagined. It's no secret I have trouble communicating these types of feelings but until I met you, I wasn't sure I was cut out for couplehood. How can I ever think of you any other way, when I know you made the right choice for us?"

She closed her eyes and reveled in the security she felt, just lying there in his arms, until she drifted off to sleep. When she awoke a while later, she reached over to find the other side of the bed empty, and quickly remembered it was a work day. Romano's shift started much earlier than hers, and she still had a time to laze around underneath the sheets for a while longer. Feeling happier than she could ever remember, her mind drifted to thoughts of her future, living together as a family and how not long ago, she could have never dreamed of something so perfect. Not wanting this blissful feeling to end, she finally dragged herself get out of bed to get ready for her own shift at Mercy. After having missed quite a few days due to morning sickness, she was back working part time hours and glad of the fact that Romano's penthouse was within walking distance to her job.

* * *

When she returned home later that evening, Romano was banging around the kitchen, a telltale sign that he'd had a bad shift.

"Rough day?" Grace asked cautiously as she closed the door and walked towards him.

"Well at least it wasn't all bad." He said, embracing her with a kiss that nearly took her out at the knees.

"Mmm, I see someone's still feeling the lingering effects of this morning's extra curricular activities."

"It really was the only bright part of my day."

"What happened? Did Kerry have another Mussolini moment or did Dr. Dave do another med student in the suture room?"

"Several ER nurses quit with no notice."

"Hmm, I see…and you prefer the satisfaction you get from firing them. What did you do to make them quit?"

"Oh, so immediately you assume it's my fault?"

"It usually is, Robert…speaking from experience." She added impishly. He responded by swatting her ass affectionately.

"Well, I'm afraid I can't take the credit this time. Seems a new private clinic is opening up and they've been lured away by the scent of young doctors and big paychecks."

"That does sound enticing. So, what are you going to do? You could lose a few more before the dust settles."

"The prognosis definitely isn't good."

"I don't suppose…"

"What?"

She eyed him, hoping he would put two and two together. "Can't you guess?"

"I'm too tired to guess, Grace."

"Well, it's not as though I'm exactly loyal to Mercy."

"You're not serious? You'd come back to County?"

"It could work."

"Huh, I never thought you'd even consider it."

"I could be persuaded, perhaps…" She said coyly.

"Don't look at me like that with those eyes. You know I can't say no. Still, we need the bodies and it would be great working with you again." He said, pulling her close and kissing her neck.

"Would it?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

"Memories of the forth floor supply room," He said closing his eyes as he reminisced.

"I think I preferred the one on the sixth floor. It had more ambiance."

"You mean a firm gurney and a locking door."

She grinned, "Not to mention the trapeze."

"Which is probably what landed you in this condition."

"And without question the most fun I've ever had in a supply room."

Romano pushed her up against the counter and kissed her firmly, as he felt the urgent need to relive the earlier events of the day. Interrupted by the phone, Grace pulled away from him to see if the call was important.

"Would I have to promise to behave in the ER?"

Realizing it was her mother whom she was not in the mood to talk to, Grace decided to ignore the call.

"You'll need to be the same as you've always been, or it would arouse suspicion."

"Not ready to tell the world about us yet, Grace?"

"I think that's a wise approach, don't you?"

"I'm on board with whatever you want."

"That's it? Simple as that?"

"It is when you're the Chief of Staff. Besides, they still talk about how great it was to work with you. In fact, I heard a few of the ER misfits muttering your name this afternoon."

"Really? How sweet. But I'd hazard a guess that isn't all you heard them talking about?"

"Well they were also singing the praises of their fearless leader."

"It is comforting to know the Romano ego is still alive and well. Do they still blame you for the fact that I quit?"

"They blame me for everything that goes wrong in their miserable little lives. Having you back might just buff them up a bit."

"Well I do I miss working with everyone…well, almost."

"Careful."

"I meant Malucci…and Edson." She said, winking. "He's such a weasel."

"So, when can you start?"


	25. Old Friends

Chapter 25 – Old Friends

A few days later, Grace turned up in the ER to a round of smiling faces, however, it didn't take long for the rumor mill to run amok as they had all noticed a change in her appearance since she'd left.

Malucci, never the consummate gentleman, was the first to make a direct comment the first opportunity he had. "Wow, you're knocked up, eh Hanson? I guess that means you're straight after all. After all the times you turned me down, I thought for sure you were batting for the other team. So, who's the lucky guy?"

Grace, foolishly thinking her scrubs could hide most of her weight gain stood a little stunned at first. "Well Malucci, anyone but you makes this a real blessing. Excuse me." She said, walking away as Abby high-fived her. Malucci just shrugged and smiled to himself. He enjoyed stirring the pot whenever possible.

A few hours into Carter's shift after a few traumas had been sent up to the OR, things quieted down giving him a chance to welcome Grace back properly. "Grace! I'm so glad you're back. Everyone missed you." He said as he gave her a warm hug.

"Thanks, I missed you too." She grinned. "It's really great to be back."

"So?" He said, raising his eyebrows and looking towards her mid-section.

"So."

"You've been busy?" He added, continuing to stare down at her belly.

Grace smiled, "I guess it's not much of a secret? I thought my scrubs would hide it for a while. Yes, I'm about 22 weeks along…and that's all I'm telling you John."

Pulling her aside for privacy, he added, "It's Romano's, isn't it?"

She nodded. "Please don't say anything, Carter. I just want to work out my last couple of months and go quietly on mat leave."

"Quiet doesn't live here, Grace. You've only been back a few hours and your curious co-workers are already speculating about who the father is. The majority seem to think it's your ex."

"Well, they can wonder all they like, but it's really none of their business." She said defensively.

"Don't worry, I won't say a word. I know you don't need the added pressure of people finding out about your past relationship with Romano. Congratulations, I think." He said hugging her.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"I am a bit surprised to see you back here. Won't it be awkward, running into him all the time? I thought that's why you opted to work at Mercy. Unless…wait a minute, does he even know? You did tell him, didn't you?"

"Of course I told him, Carter. Give me a little credit here."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, but this is just a lot to take in. I really wished you would've called me. I was worried about you."

"I'm sorry, John. At first I was just in complete shock and then I had to try to figure out what I was going to do next. I guess I needed to do that without the advice from well-meaning but sometimes judgmental friends." She grinned.

"I know you don't mean me. I'm never well-meaning." He grinned. "So did you, figure everything out?"

Grace avoided eye contact before answering. "Yeah, um, we did."

"We?"

"We're living together, Carter."

"Really?" He sounded annoyed. "Just like that?"

"No, of course not. It's not a decision I made lightly. He asked me to come and stay with him when I was really ill with morning sickness. I was in pretty bad shape and that was the only reason I agreed. But then, as the weeks went by, we managed to find our way back to each other. Look John, I know it's hard for you to believe, but he's different when he's with me. He's a good man and for better or worse, he's the father of my baby and we're trying to make a life together. I'm very happy these days and I really hoped you'd be happy for me too." She searched his eyes for a glimmer of understanding.

"You don't play fair, do you, Grace? You know I want you to be happy."

"Well I am."

"Well…okay then."

"You don't sound completely convinced."

"You're really sure about this?"

"Yes, John. So, are we good?"

"You know I can't say no to you, Grace."

"Well, if someone we both know had said no to me, I might not be standing here in the family way." She said and they both laughed. Grace was relieved to have cleared the air with Carter and that she could rely on his friendship and support.

Nosiness aside, Grace was glad to be back in familiar territory. The nurses were extremely supportive and didn't waste any time before they started planning a baby shower for her. While they offered an overabundance of advice on motherhood, she knew they genuinely cared about her wellbeing and it meant so much to know she had good friends in her corner. It helped to alleviate some of her fears about taking on such a huge responsibility, especially with her family living miles away.

* * *

As the weeks passed, her waddle became more pronounced and as she approached 32 weeks, there was no denying she was in the homestretch. Standing behind the admit desk one day, she looked up to see a face she recognized from a photo in the lounge and her heart sank immediately.

"Elizabeth?"

"You know my name? How lovely…Grace, is it?" She said, bending down to read her name tag as she smiled politely.

"What are you doing here? I mean, uh, it's great to meet you. I've heard so much about you from everyone here." Grace tried her best not to stammer, but her mind was in overdrive and her brain was becoming slightly disconnected from her mouth. "I, uh, thought you were in London?"

Elizabeth could hardly contain her excitement. "I'm here for a job interview. God this place is a sight for sore eyes! I can't believe everything looks exactly as I left it." She beamed, looking around the ER.

Grace's worst fear had come true. Corday was the one woman Romano was completely mesmerized by and Grace was suddenly gripped with fear that now, back at County, his obsession with her would begin again.

Corday could see that Grace was a little distracted and touched her arm gently to get her full attention. Coming out of her out of her fog momentarily, she heard Corday add, "Sorry, but I'm running a bit late. Tell everyone I'll come back down and catch up afterwards. Is Dr. Romano's office still on the 4th floor?"

"Yes, forth." Grace said blankly as Corday rushed off towards the elevator.

Grace barely made it into the ladies room in time to vomit. She knew her relationship with Romano could be in jeopardy with Corday back at County, and it hit home even more so when she realized he hadn't mentioned a thing about her coming back to Chicago.

Grace's shift ended before Corday had a chance to return to the ER to reminisce with old friends. Grace made her way home, managing to hold on until the privacy of the penthouse before breaking down, while she hopelessly tried to convince herself that her entire life was not falling apart right before her eyes. She managed to pull herself together before Romano came home, stubborn as always, she didn't want him to see she had been crying.

When he arrived home later that evening, he greeted her cheerfully, kissing her and stroking her baby bump. "Princess Grace!"

"Something's got you in a good mood. Let me guess." She said, staring at him intently, folding her arms across her chest.

He was surprised at her strange demeanor. "What's wrong with coming home in a good mood?"

"Elizabeth Corday."

"You heard? Yes, Lizzie is back. I interviewed her today."

"And you didn't think the need to tell me?"

"What for? You don't work in the OR, and besides, you knew I was trying to hire another surgeon."

"Don't play coy, Robert. You know this is a big deal. Elizabeth is the woman who consumed you when she worked at County."

"And she fell in love with Peter Benton and Mark Greene…"

"But now she's back."

"So?"

"So you're saying this has absolutely no affect on you whatsoever?"

"You have nothing to worry about, although seeing this side of you is quite a turn on, Gracie."

Grace looked completely unconvinced.

"Look, it's a moot point anyway. You know she never felt the same way about me so there's no reason to go prenatal on me."

"And what if she did return your feelings?"

"Never happen. Besides, that was a lifetime ago, Grace. I'm in love with you and we're having a baby together." He snaked his arms around her waist and kissed her reassuringly.

"I'm worried this will stir up old feelings for you."

"You're cute when you're jealous."

"I'm serious, Robert!"

"Look, I don't have feelings for Elizabeth Corday. What more do you want me to say?" He barked.

"You really expect me to believe that?"

He stared back at her, frustrated at not being able to alleviate her fears and wasn't completely sure he was being truly honest with himself about the prospect of having Corday back at County.

He brought his voice down to a softer level. "Grace, this won't change anything between us. You need to believe that."

"I just wish she hadn't come back, not now anyway."

"Well, I won't lie and say I'm not sorry to have her back on staff. She was the best surgeon County ever had, well, other than me of course."

"What about Benton?"

"Oh, yes, Dr. Benton. He wasn't as good as me either. Come here." He said, sitting on the couch. "Have I ever given you a reason to think I'd cheat on you?"

"You _know_ this is different. The hands of fate are offering you a second chance to ignite the burning fire of unrequited love."

He rubbed her back and kissed the nape of her neck. "Gracie, you're way off base. I'm not your ex-husband and you don't need to worry about history repeating itself."

He was saying all the right things, but it still didn't change her feelings of insecurity coupled with a hormone induced emotional roller coaster ride. She tossed and turned most of the night and finally decided to get up and try a cup of tea, hoping it would relax her. As she paced and worried and sipped her tea, she couldn't help wonder why happiness in life, always seemed to be so fleeting. Past history reminded her that no matter how wonderful things could feel in the moment, ultimately they didn't seem to last. Her college boyfriend, her ex-husband and now Robert and the baby, and feeling as though she had absolutely no control over the situation only served to fuel her anxiety. As Grace gazed out the window into the night, the lights of Chicago illuminating the skyline, her baby gave her a firm kick to remind her that he or she was awake too, and more than ready for a fight.


	26. Dodging Bullets

AN – I know it's been ages and once again, sorry! If only there were more hours in the day…well, you get the picture. Thank you all so very much for the reviews, you've all been so kind! I promise to get the next chapter up soon.

**Chapter 26 – Dodging Bullets**

"Grace? Grace!" _That voice will haunt me, _she thought, as she could hear Elizabeth approaching her from behind. Initially pretending she couldn't hear her, Grace finally turned around to acknowledge her.

"Oh, Dr. Corday. It's so nice to see you." She lied.

"I'm looking for Mr. Silverman, the rule out MI?"

"He already went up to the Cath lab. Dr. Edson was here a few minutes ago and took him up."

"Lovely. I wish someone would've bothered to tell _me_! That's the second time this week Edson's high-jacked one of my patients.

"I'm sorry you had to waste your time coming all the way down here, Dr. Corday." Grace replied.

"Oh, never mind, it's not your fault. I suppose I'll have to take it up with Romano. Dale can deal with the wrath of Rocket's red glare." Corday said as she sent Grace a knowing glance, "But I'm sure I don't have to tell _you_."

"Excuse me?" Grace asked anxiously.

Corday looked at and winked. "It's okay, dear. I _know_."

"You _know_? I don't understand, Dr. Corday?" She blurted out, as her cheeks became warm.

"About you and Romano." She said matter-of-factly.

"Me and…"

"One of County's _worst_ kept secrets." Pausing, she added, "Are you okay, Grace? You look a bit flushed?" Grace was silent for a moment, suddenly unable to breathe as Corday continued. "I know all about him blasting you with that acerbic tongue of his. Shirley told me you quit after he accused you of killing a patient, humiliating you in front of several colleagues."

With a hint of relief, Grace finally managed a quick breath. "Dr. Corday, that's all ancient history as far as I'm concerned."

"I doubt there's an ER nurse here who hasn't endured the ordeal of one of Robert's tirades. It gives his ego a boost to come down here and flaunt his authority, even better if he brings someone to tears in the process."

Grace could feel her head spinning, but managed to keep her composure.

"He is the Chief of Staff and this hospital's best surgeon, and I really do feel indebted to him for offering me my job back. However, that man has an elephantine ego and believe me, on more than one occasion I've wanted to beat the living daylights out of that bombastic little…"

Grinning slightly, Grace replied, "I think I get the picture. So, you're telling me this because?"

"Grace, I don't want you to be under any undue stress in your condition." She said, placing her hand gently on Grace's arm. "I know all too well how infuriating that man can be. If you ever feel as though he's crossing the line with you, I want you to feel you can come to me. You just let _me_ handle him."

"Let _you_ handle him?"

"Look, I know Kerry runs the ER, but you can't always depend on her. She may just leave you swinging in the breeze when you least expect it. You're probably not aware of this, but Robert and I have a long history at County." She smiled. "He knows better than to step out of line with me and it's a rare occasion when I can't defuse him during an outburst and bring him down to something of a dull roar." She added, somewhat cockily.

"I really don't think it will be an issue…"

"Well, one can only hope, but..."

"And I can take care of myself, Dr. Corday."

"Just promise me you'll remember our little chat, Grace." Corday smiled.

"I'll definitely take it under consideration, Dr. Corday." Grace nodded slowly, thinking to herself that her beloved was definitely not the only one at County with a rather high opinion of himself.

"Brilliant! So, is this your first baby?" Corday grinned.

"Yes it is."

"How lovely. You and your husband must be thrilled."

"I'm not married, Dr. Corday."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I just assumed…well then…"

Grace, now taking pleasure in Corday's turn in the hot seat, didn't rush to bail her out.

"Well, you look…very healthy, Grace." Corday finally added awkwardly. "You must be very excited to be getting near the end. I remember those last few weeks, I couldn't _wait_ for it to be over. I was completely knackered!"

"Not me. I really love being pregnant. The first trimester was pretty rough, but I'm feeling so good right now. It's the thought of the impending delivery that scares me more than anything."

"I have one word for you – epidural!"

"I'm hoping to get through it without any meds, but we'll see." Grace replied, becoming increasingly uncomfortable discussing this with Corday.

"Elizabeth!" Susan said enthusiastically as she approached them. "I heard you were back, it's so good to see you!" She smiled as she hugged her old friend.

"Thanks Susan, it's good to be back. Except for dealing with Edson who's still treating me like I'm an intern." They then shared a laugh muttering 'weasel' in unison under their breath.

"You look great! How've you been?"

"Me? Same as always. How's Ella?"

"She's fabulous." Corday beamed. "I can't believe how quickly she's growing up. Rachel's doing well too."

"Do you have any pictures?" Susan gushed.

"Oh, not with me, but I'll stop by later and show you one from Ella's last birthday. She looks so much like Mark."

Susan looked empathetically at Corday and tried to lighten the mood, "Tall, skinny and bald? I hope not!"

Grace offered a few words, "I'm so sorry about Dr. Greene. I've heard so many great things about him and I really wish I would have had the opportunity to meet him."

"You're so kind. Thank you, Grace. It's certainly not been easy, and I could never have imagined how difficult it would be raising a child on my own, but I think I'm doing okay under the circumstances." Looking directly at Grace, she added, "Oh dear, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"No worries at all. I won't be raising the baby on my own." Grace replied without providing any further information and took the opportunity to go check on a patient.

Turning back to Susan, Corday added, "I take it her child's paternity is a closely guarded secret…someone who works here, perhaps?" Susan merely shrugged, pretending to be disinterested. "I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable, but it seemed like everything I said rubbed her the wrong way. I kept getting a bit of a weird vibe from her."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Elizabeth. It's probably just hormones." Susan added reassuringly.

"Well, I'd better be getting back upstairs before Edson absconds with any more of my patients."

After Corday left the ER, Susan gave Grace a sympathetic glance and motioned her to join her in the lounge. "How are you holding up?"

"Depends on the day, sometimes the hour. Right now, not so hot."

Susan put her arm around Grace's shoulder and after having tried so hard to keep her troubles to herself, Grace was well overdue for an honest talk with someone who understood what she was going through; carrying Romano's baby and dealing with the return of Corday.

"I'm trying, really trying, not to think about her…about _them_, but she just keeps popping up in the ER every time I turn around! This is supposed to be such a wonderful time in my life but all I can think about is whether he's falling in love with her all over again…or if he ever really stopped."

"He loves you, Grace. You have to believe that." Susan said reassuringly.

"I do. Well I did, before she came back. Now he's with her almost every day. God, Susan, she's this brilliant surgeon with her proper British accent, not to mention being a gorgeous red head, and here I am…looking like the good year blimp."

"Grace, you always look beautiful and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I've never known you to be insecure, this just isn't like you. Besides, you can't keep comparing yourself to Elizabeth. You'll just make yourself crazy."

"I'm trying not to hate her, you know…just _because_, but I nearly lost it when she actually suggested that I should come to _her_ if Romano gives me a hard time. Promised to _handle_ him for me."

"You're kidding?" Susan chuckled. "I'm sorry for laughing, but it is pretty ironic. God, if she only knew!"

"Well, I wasn't exactly thrilled at continuing the conversation, needless to say. Susan, do you think he ever really got over her?"

"Stop worrying so much. It's not good for you or the baby." Susan replied, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "One thing's for sure, Romano doesn't talk to _anyone _about his personal life. You seem to be the only one to have cracked open _that_ vault. But to be honest, Elizabeth was never interested in him anyway. Even if he is carrying around some residual feelings, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Here, let me buy you a candy bar. Time and chocolate heals all wounds." She offered, moving towards the vending machine.

"No thanks. It'll just go directly to my ass and give me something else to get depressed about. But thanks for listening."

"Any time." Susan smiled. "You know it's been strangely quiet around here today. Why don't I give you an ultrasound? We could find out if you're having a boy or a girl. It might cheer you up?"

"I think I'd like to be surprised on the big day." Grace smiled wistfully.

"Well, if you change your mind let me know. We can sneak you into the exam room when Weaver's on a break."

After Susan left, Grace took an extra moment before facing the ER once more. With all of Susan's reassurances, she couldn't get over the feeling that there was something a little unsettling in the way Corday spoke about being able to handle Romano.


	27. Everything Old is New Again

**Chapter 27 – Everything Old is New Again**

Later upstairs, Corday and Romano were performing a complicated procedure, but they had both eased into the typical OR small talk as if she'd never left. "Not much has changed around here while I've been away." She commented.

"Same old, same old."

"There are a few new faces, but all in all, it's nice to see so many staff still around from the old days. That new ER nurse seems nice, Grace."

"Mmm hmm."

"Seeing her reminds me of when Carol was pregnant with the twins. I wonder if she and Doug are still in Seattle?"

"Forceps. Lizzie clamp off that bleeder."

"Got it. I understand Grace isn't married. I'm so out of the loop these days, but I can't help wondering if the father is someone on staff. She seemed a bit guarded about the subject, although I suppose it's really none of my business."

"No it's not, Lizzie." He said bluntly while he glared at her, and she sensed she'd hit a nerve, but pressed on a bit.

"I must say, given the circumstances surrounding her departure from County, I'm rather surprised she would come back and risk subjecting herself to..." she stopped herself just short of continuing and looked up at Romano.

"To yours truly? Come on, Corday. Don't start something you don't intend to finish."

"You can't deny you have a reputation for having a rather peremptory manner, Robert. Especially when dealing with subordinates."

"You think I'm an evil, vindictive prick, incapable of admitting I'm wrong. Luckily I'm also completely devoid of human emotion or I'd be deeply wounded, Lizzie."

"You needn't be so dramatic, Robert."

"And yet I somehow managed to put my ego aside, and let _you_ back into the fold. Granted, without the fancy title or the salary, but hey, I guess beggars can't be choosers."

"I'd hardly call it begging." Corday said firmly.

"Oh, that's right, you just strongly suggested it would be in our best interest to bring you back on staff, in light of your overwhelming accomplishments achieved while employed by the British Empire." He added, mocking her accent at the end.

Corday giggled a little under her mask.

"It's comforting to know I still amuse you."

"There's a fine line between humor and hostility, Robert." She grinned.

"Yeah, and life and death…careful you don't nick the vena cava."

"You have to admit, it does seem a bit strange."

"What?"

"The fact that she'd come back here, to County, when clearly she'll just be leaving again on maternity leave soon."

"And what's even more curious is why the hell you're so interested?"

"I'm not, it's just…I don't know, call it women's intuition."

"Oh, please. Spare me the two dollar psychoanalysis, Lizzie."

"I'm just concerned for her, that's all. I thought I might be able to offer her some support, as one single mother to another."

"So the Hippocratic Oath wasn't enough for you? You feel the need to follow in the footsteps of your namesake, the patron saint of hospitals and nurses?"

"Why do you insist on making this about me, when we're talking about Grace?"

"Because, Lizzie," he said in a very low, firm tone, "we're _not_ talking about Grace. Whatever you heard about her quitting is strictly confidential information. You of all people should know that." He said, chastising her. "

"Oh, don't be so righteous, Robert. You and I both know you interpret the rules to best suit you. It wasn't so long ago in this very room you had me operating on your dog!"

"Well you won't have to worry about history repeating itself. Gretel's gone off to the big fire hydrant in the sky."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said sincerely. "I know how much you cared for her."

"Are you being facetious, Lizzie? Bit of a low blow to make fun of man's best friend." He said abruptly.

"Not at all. Seeing you care so much for your pet let us see another side to you, Robert. It proves you are capable of being human…at least every now and then." She smirked and looked over at Shirley who hid her own grin by looking up at the clock.

"Careful Lizzie, that almost sounded like a compliment."

"You shouldn't be so afraid to show that side more often. It's not a sign of weakness to be caring and compassionate, Robert."

"I'm sorry, I thought the only bleeding heart in the room would belong to the patient."

"Deny it all you like, but a late night delivery of pizza and Cherry Garcia ice cream will forever be etched in my memory. I still don't know how I made it through that procedure." She said, shaking her head as the memory suddenly seemed quite vivid.

"All things considered, the occasion did warrant some sort of recognition for your unwavering fortitude. You know I've always been your biggest fan, Lizzie."

"The gesture was very impressive, even to Mark." She lamented and suddenly became reminiscently thoughtful. "Seems like a lifetime ago in some respects, but somehow being back here…it's as though I never left."

"We're all glad to have you back, Dr. Corday." Shirley chimed in. "The OR hasn't been the same without you." She added, raising her eyebrows.

"Thank you, Shirley. It's nice to know _someone_ missed me around here." Corday winked back.

"Should I leave you two alone? Although come to think of it, it may be more fun if I stay and watch."

"No offense Shirley, but I've always thought that Weaver was more my type." She shot back, not missing a beat.

"Well, that would explain a lot." He nodded to himself. "You know you may have to get in line, though. I hear Kerry's keeping house with a hot firefighter these days."

"Just proving that there's someone for everyone…well, _almost _everyone." She said, glaring at Romano.

"Are we almost done here or do you plan to spend the entire day inside this guy's chest?"

Corday sighed, exasperated. "I'm just completing the final exploration of the thoracic cavity. There, I'm ready to close, " she added confidently. "I was hoping we could grab a coffee or something after we're finished here. I need to get up to speed on a few things when you have a minute."

"As long as it's not more idle gossip about ER staff. I'll meet you in the surgical lounge."

"I was thinking of that little coffee shop around the corner? I can actually hear myself think in there."

"Fine, whatever." As they walked out of the OR he held the door open for Corday. "Another perfect surgery, Lizzie. It's good to have you back."

* * *

When they first arrived at the coffee shop, Elizabeth seemed a bit nervous. They got down to business and reviewed some of the policy and procedural changes since Corday had been away. Once the work issues were out of the way, she finally said what she'd brought him there to say.

"Robert?"

"Hmm. What? If this is about Edson stealing your patients, I've already ripped him a new one. I doubt he has the stones to try it again anytime soon."

"No, it's not that."

"Then what? You can't just waltz back in here and expect me to give you all the sexy procedures right off the bat. You'll have to take your turn on the rotation just like everyone else."

"Robert, uh, it's just that I…"

"Look, whatever it is, Lizzie, just spit it out. I have a lot to do today."

"Right. Well, I just wanted to say…I wanted you to know that my decision to come back to Chicago wasn't just because of this job."

"Uh huh. Do tell." He said, sounding intrigued.

"I missed you, Robert." She said, smiling warmly. He stared intently at her as she continued on. "After Mark died, I went running home to the safety and security of London, but as time passed, I had to admit that I really missed Chicago. But it wasn't just the city and the hospital…I missed you too." She took a deep breath and continued, "I've finally realized I'm ready to move on with my life…and I feel I'm ready to explore a personal relationship with you, Robert."

Never expecting her to drop this bomb, he immediately reacted by going on the attack, as he tried to come to grips with her shocking confession. "And what exactly do you expect in return, for your little day late and a dollar short epiphany?"

"Well, I…"

"You think you can just walk back in here and assume I'd be waiting with open arms?"

"Well, yes, I guess I did." She replied, taken aback at his reaction.

His sly grin almost became a bit of a sneer. "You always knew you were 'it' for me, Lizzie. I backed off when you lied about not dating colleagues, only to find out you were already doing the nasty with Peter…and then you moved onto Greene. It was always there for me, smoldering just below the surface but I tried to show you your due respect. One word from you, one _look_ was all it would've taken." He added in a low, sultry voice, as he leaned in across the table, his eyes nearly boring a hole right through her.

As he continued, he took on a more chastising tone. "I helped you regain your confidence to perform surgery after you turned poor old Mr. Patterson into a gimp, and I was instrumental in getting the CDC to call off the witch hunt when they thought you were killing all your patients with post-op infections. I was there for you when Ella nearly OD'd on sisterly love and again when Mark died. Hell, I was the one who urged you to go to back to him in the end when you weren't sure if you could handle it. But I finally moved on, Lizzie. I had to, for self preservation. You can't expect after all this time that I'd just be sitting here, pining for you, waiting on the off chance you might finally change your mind and throw me a bone?"

Corday sat silent, hit with a harsh dose of reality. The way he spoke so bluntly about his take on their history, made it seem as though she'd never been anything but a selfish tease, using him for friendship and support, but never giving back anything in return.

"I have a life, here, Lizzie. Not to mention that I'm not even available, contrary to your little shot at sarcasm in the OR. As a matter of fact, I'm in love with someone else."

"I'm so sorry, Robert. I didn't think…"

"I know you didn't. It's always been about you, Lizzie."

She shot him a look of disbelief.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the truth a bit too hard to handle? Look, I've always been brutally honest. Bruised some egos, hurt some feelings, provoked more than a few tears. But I put my heart on a sleeve with you so many times, and I vowed I'd never do it again. I may be inherently stubborn, but I'm not a masochist."

"I guess I was just so wrapped up in my own life, dealing with my own problems. It hasn't been easy for me…moving to London, raising Ella on my own..." She hoped for a small glimpse of understanding, but was having a hard time reading him. "Look, I'm sorry for putting all this on you, Robert. I won't bring up the subject again." She said sheepishly.

"Excellent. So are we done here?"

"Yes, I guess we are."

Romano was quiet when he got home that night, but not overly noticeable to Grace who was exhausted after her shift and didn't last long before heading off to bed. As he lay there beside her in the dark, his mind replayed years of fighting, laughing, testing and challenging Corday. For years he lived for the slightest encounter that would result in a heated debate. The energy exchanged during these moments was as close as he would ever come to a sexual encounter with her, although for years he'd naively hoped it could progress into something much more satisfying. It was true, he'd put up a good front with Corday earlier, but he wasn't altogether sure there wasn't still a piece of him that longed to explore the forbidden unknown that had for years been his obsession. After all these years, she was finally willing to grant him his eternal wish, but fate it seemed had a cruel sense of timing.

As he turned over to watch Grace sleep, he felt immediate guilt. She seemed so peaceful and content, lying there in the dark and he reached out his hand to stroke her gently. His reality was staring him straight in the face as the baby gave a firm kick, nearly knocking his hand away and his mind continued to contemplate past and present. As he struggled to fall asleep, he was reminded of his first encounter with Grace and how he had become smitten with her that first night in the parkade as she cursed out her car. She had sparked something within him, that he had kept buried for so long, afraid to let it rise back up to the surface. Over the coming weeks, he had teased her, provoked her, punished her and pushed her to the breaking point, and yet here she was, firmly by his side in every sense and about to give birth to his child.

Knowing what he _should_ do was easy, reality was an entirely more complicated matter. Having Corday back at County was one thing, as long as feelings were kept firmly entombed in the past where they belonged. But her revelation had thrown him into a frenzy of rekindled unresolved, unfulfilled fantasies, which began to tease and tantalize him as sleeplessness turned from mere annoyance to full blown insomnia.


	28. Another Head Aches, Another Heart Breaks

**Chapter 28 – Another Head Aches, Another Heart Breaks**

The next two weeks seem to fly by. Aside from work, Grace was kept busy with OB appointments and preparations for the baby's arrival. Romano seemed to embrace the hectic pace as it helped keep his mind from wandering into dangerous territory.

He was called in early one day to assist Corday with an emergency surgical procedure. As they worked feverishly to save the patient, everything that could go wrong did, igniting already smoldering tensions between the two surgeons. Romano's tone was particularly hostile and his sarcasm relentless as their tireless efforts were simply no match for such a severe injury. After pronouncing the patient and scrubbing out, Corday was intent on challenging Romano about his treatment of her in the OR and followed him into his office to pursue the matter.

"Robert! Robert! Don't you dare walk away from me!" She yelled, stomping down the hallway and into his office, slamming the door behind her.

"I'm not in the mood, Elizabeth. Take your contrived indignance elsewhere."

"No! It's time you face me, Robert. I won't stand for you treating me this way and then ignoring me."

"Look, this isn't some royal palace! I'm not going to kowtow to you just because you're the _second_ best surgeon to ever walk these halls."

She glared at him "How dare you! You undermined my judgment in the OR by completely taking over, not to mention nearly knocking me down in the process!"

"Are you questioning my commitment to the patient's best interests? 'Cause that is not something you want to be doing."

"I'm simply saying that you had no right to treat me with such a complete lack of respect, regardless of the situation."

"I had every right. I run this place, or have you forgotten already? Look, he was dying, Lizzie, what would you have me do, wait for rigor mortis to set in?"

"You're going out of your way to be vindictive and don't think I don't know _exactly_ where this is coming from."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend your malevolent behavior hasn't escalated since that day in the coffee shop. You're trying to push me away because you're afraid to admit I still get to you."

"You don't know anything about me." He scoffed and turned away from her.

Brazenly pulling him back around to face her, Corday completely shocked Romano by plunging her lips firmly against his with burning intensity.

Romano pushed her away quickly and forcibly. "What the hell are you doing?"

She stepped towards him more slowly and seductively, realizing the need to soften her approach. She looked deeply into his eyes with desperate craving, realizing a mere taste of the forbidden had ignited her desires. Determined to see the moment through, her blatant lust coupled with somewhat fearful anticipation, she embraced him once more. She was completely seductive and alluring, pushing herself against him as she could feel his willpower wearing down.

Romano responded briefly, but soon pulled away, angry for allowing her to take him off guard. "I'm not doing this, Lizzie."

"But you want to, I can _feel_ it." She whispered breathlessly.

He did, he couldn't deny it. He had thought about little else for years, wondering what it would be like to finally have this fantasy fulfilled. "No, I don't." He lied. "Now get out of my office!" He barked.

She pressed up against him and sensually ran her hands down past the waistline of his scrub pants. "You're body isn't in complete agreement with your lips, Robert." She said grinning, as indeed, the room temperature wasn't the only thing beginning to rise.

"I will call security, Corday." He said, moving away from her.

"You can't deny…"

Suddenly the door opened and Grace walked in, and it was clear she had interrupted something, as Corday's face was flushed and the conversation had stopped mid sentence. Romano, cool as the proverbial cucumber, didn't even flinch while Grace quickly apologized for not bothering to knock.

"Sorry for barging in, but Brenda wasn't at her desk."

"Dr. Corday and I were done here anyway." He said determinedly, with his hands on his hips, prompting Corday to shoot back a fiery glare. "You're right on time for our meeting, Grace. Have a seat." He added, lying to cover up the reason for Grace's unexpected entrance.

"We can finish this later, Robert."

"No, actually I'm done discussing this with you, Elizabeth." Corday stormed off leaving Grace bewildered and wondering what exactly she had stumbled upon.

"You two seemed to be in the midst of something pretty heated?" Grace asked.

He shook his head. "Just a disagreement about a patient. Your timing couldn't be better. I was just thinking how desperately I needed to see you." His demeanor brightened immediately and he pulled Grace towards him, enveloping her lips with his own. As he continued to deepen the kiss, he held her tight, as though reluctant to let go of the moment.

"Well, I'm glad to see you too, but you just saw me a couple of hours ago."

"Seems like forever." He said quietly. "And since then it's been a lousy day. We lost a patient and…never mind. So what's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'll have to meet you at home later. They asked me to stay a couple of extra hours today."

"Tell them the answer is no! Can't they find someone else to work overtime?" He stopped to answer his ringing phone and spent the next several minutes talking to an insurance agent, discussing an impending lawsuit against the hospital. He slammed the phone down as the call ended and rubbed his eyes. "I wish we could just get away from this shit." He sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Get the hell away from this hospital, this city. Just take a break from everything and leave the chaos behind." He said, looking wistfully out the window.

"You thrive on the turmoil. Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know." He said, shaking his head, looking somewhat defeated.

"You just need a good rest. Why don't I give you a back rub when I get home later?"

"And that's another thing. Why do you insist on working so close to your due date? Tell them you're starting mat leave at the end of this week."

"I'm okay, I feel fine. Besides if anything happens at least I'm in good hands down in the ER."

"That's debatable." He scoffed.

"Well I have to stay late tonight, they're trying to keep me here for my surprise baby shower." She grinned.

"So they can't even manage to get that right?"

"They mean well. Besides, I'm kind of looking forward to it. Anyway, when I get home I was thinking you could help me put the crib together."

"I thought we paid the store to do that? I do not aspire to be a Toys R Us flunky."

"I don't know, you've always been good with your hands." She cooed. "Come on, it'll be fun. It won't belong before your offspring makes a grand entrance and I don't want to be caught unprepared."

He just stared at her, feeling frustrated over the encounter with Corday and his mind raced off in a million different directions. "I don't know if I can do this, Grace."

"I promise I won't hold it against you if you can't assemble a crib. Lucky for you, you do have other redeeming qualities." She grinned.

"No, I mean…I don't know if I'm cut out for all this…Daddy duty."

Grace stared at him intently and folded her arms across her chest. "You're not just talking about baby furniture are you?" His hesitation caused Grace to pounce. "It's a bit late in the game to spring this on me, don't you think?" Grace looked towards the door and then back at Romano. "Wait a minute, all this is about _her_, isn't it? You see the baby's impending arrival as the door closing on any chance of being with your precious 'Lizzie'."

"No…" He said shaking his head emphatically and placing his hands on his hips. "That is not what this is about, Grace. Why on earth do you insist on dredging this up again?"

"Don't patronize me, Robert. I think it's pretty obvious. What did I walk in on, exactly? From the expression on her face, it looked as though I'd almost caught you both doing something inappropriate."

"Well, if yelling at a disagreeable, petulant surgeon is inappropriate, then my behavior is certainly not news to you."

"Fine. You want to be in denial, go right ahead." She said, making way for the door. "I on the other hand don't have that luxury since I have a constant reminder of what _my_ future holds. But do me a favor, if I can't count on you then just say the word!"

"You're blowing this way out of proportion. Look, I admit this is becoming a little overwhelming, thinking about how our entire lives are going to change. I thought you would understand what I'm talking about, but I guess I made the mistake of trying to be honest with you about it."

"Oh, so now it's my fault for not being understanding? How inconsiderate of me to ignore _your _feelings, seeing as you're the only one affected by this. You can be such a jackass, Robert. You think I'm not scared? You think I don't worry that neither one of us has a clue about being a parent and that we're probably both insane for bringing a child into this world? Every time Social Services deals with another delinquent, dysfunctional kid in the ER, I pray I won't let my child down the way so many parents do. I thought at the very least, we could feel our way around in the dark together." As she glanced up at the clock she added, "Great, now I'm late. I've got to get back downstairs."

"Gracie, don't." He softened, taking her hand and gently stroking it. He tried to pull her towards him to offer a reassuring embrace, but she held her ground. He smiled as he tried once again unsuccessfully to move her closer to him, which prompted Grace to concede a small grin as well.

"Good luck, Romano. I probably outweigh you two to one these days."

He relented and stepped towards her, and kissed her softly on the lips. She conceded a smile and he pulled her into a more sensuous kiss that immediately ignited her carnal appetite. He ran his hands through her hair and she moaned audibly as he increased his intensity, causing her to take hold of him firmly and possessively.

"You know how I feel about you, Grace." He said, closing his eyes briefly as he was reminded of just how much she meant to him and how easily it might be for him to lose it all. "You do know, don't you? Jesus, it's all I can do not to take you right here and now…and I admit, I'm feeling a bit selfish. I want you all to myself, without any distractions. Is that too much to ask?"

"I'd hardly call a child a distraction. Look, I don't blame you for having cold feet. If mine weren't so swollen these days, they'd be paralyzed with fear too. But you've never mentioned anything like this before and I can't help wonder if it's more than just a slight coincidence that you're suddenly voicing doubts now, since _she_ came back."

"I just don't want us to become like all those other people. You know, the kid shows up and the next thing they know they turn into a couple of babbling idiots."

"That won't happen to us, Robert. We won't let it."

"How can you be sure?"

"Hey, look at me." She said, cupping his cheek and turning him to face her. "It's just you and me, right here and right now, and the rest of the world can go to hell for all I care. Nothing can change what we have, Robert. Not if _we_ don't let it."

He smiled at Grace and relaxed a little. "You always know exactly what to say, and what I need."

"Not always." She winked. "Look, you've been burning the candle at both ends lately, but you finally have a new surgeon to help with some of the workload. Hard to believe, but this place can run without you. You need to let go of a few things, stop trying to micro manage this place and take some time off to recharge your battery."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Physician heal thyself. Do you want me to hang around and drive you home after your big surprise party?"

"No, I think you should go home and try to relax and get your mind off this place. I'm sure Haleh or Lydia can give me a ride. I'll see you later, okay?" She grinned seductively as she walked out of his office.

After Grace left, Romano was alone with his thoughts, processing both the intense guilt of having Grace nearly catching him with Corday and the pure undeniable excitement of how it felt to finally kiss her.

_Son of a bitch!_ He thought. With Grace ready to give birth nearly any day, Corday had absolutely brutal timing showing up here, finally admitting she had feelings for him. He was angry at Corday and furious with himself for letting things become so complicated.

_

* * *

_

After finishing the rest of the day without having to endure another encounter with Corday, he looked forward to going home more than ever before. Home to his penthouse suite where he could wash away the stresses of the day and be alone with Grace.

When he arrived home, the apartment was dark, but laced with the glow from a few candles. Soft music played and he smiled, realizing Grace must have come home early after all. She always knew just what he needed.

Near the window, he could see a figure, silhouetted by the moonlight and candles and suddenly realized this was not his Grace, nine months pregnant, but someone taller and much slimmer.

"Elizabeth?"

"In the flesh." She said as she approached.

"How the hell did you get in here and more importantly, why are you here?"

"You know why. We both want this – you've _always_ wanted this and you know I won't take no for an answer this time."

"Well, you'll just have to."

"I don't think so." She said.

"This is unfucking believable, Elizabeth!"

As she pushed up against him, he could feel the warmth from her soft skin and the caress of the silky negligee that left very little to the imagination. As she kissed him impetuously, he tried to fight it, but he momentarily ignored his inner voice and continued to oblige her seduction. The softness of her touch and the smell of her hair reminded him of a time when he wanted nothing else in this world. And then as though he'd been hit with a bolt of lightning, he realized this was not what he wanted now. In his heart of hearts, he knew it was Grace whom he loved and that what he felt for Corday was just what it has always been…a fantasy relationship that he'd built up in his mind. What he had with Grace was real and powerful and much more fulfilling than anything he'd ever imagined with Corday.

As he took hold of her by the arms and pushed her away, he said determinedly, "You have to go. I won't do this to Grace."

"Grace? She's the one you're _in love_ with? I was sure you'd made that whole thing up, just to protect your pride." After pausing for a moment she added, "Well it doesn't matter, because I know you want _me_ more. Whatever you think you feel for Grace is just your way of settling for second best, because you didn't think I was available, until now."

"You couldn't be more wrong. Grace is so beautiful. She's giving, she's smart and sexy, and if all that wasn't enough, she loves me…for all my extremes. I'm the luckiest man alive to have her in my life and for Christ sakes Lizzie, she's about to have my baby!"

That bombshell seemed to stop Corday dead in her tracks. "You're the father? I don't believe it!"

"Well, just goes to show you what the love of a good woman can do. Now, can you please put some clothes on and leave before you humiliate yourself further?"

As the door opened and the lights flicked on, Grace came face to face with a quite an eyeful.

"So it's true. I fucking knew it. I was right all along."

"No, you're not. Elizabeth was just leaving."

"Looks to me like you're just getting started. Would you like me to go out and come back later?" She said icily. This déjà vu experience was nearly identical to the scene she'd walked in on not so many years ago. But this time the crushing blow was much more devastating and unmistakably tearing apart her very soul.

"This is not what it looks like, Grace. This is all just a big misunderstanding." Romano added as Corday ran to put her clothes on.

"I knew you were never really over her." Grace said as the tears began to flow. "I ignored my instincts and I kept telling myself I could trust you not to let me down."

As Romano approached her, Grace dropped her gifts from the baby shower and raised her arms to push him away.

"How could you? You son of a bitch!" She yelled, now pounding her arms into his chest as tears poured down her face. "You even pretended to be concerned that I was working late when all along it just played into your sordid little plan!" As she continued to break down, letting weeks of pent up emotion pour out, she suddenly doubled over with a sharp pain. "Oh, God!"

"Gracie, are you okay?" Robert said.

"Don't touch me! I don't ever want you touching me again!"

Corday emerged from the bathroom looking completely mortified and started to leave when another wave hit Grace.

"Oh my God! Ohhhh!" Grace yelled as she slumped down on the floor.

"How long has this been going on?" Corday asked as she placed her hand on Grace's abdomen to feel the strength of the contraction.

"Not long. My back's been sore all day, but it's been like that a lot lately. These pains just started to intensify since…Oh Jesus Christ!" She screamed and her water broke, all over the immaculate white carpet.

"We should get her to the hospital, Robert. She's definitely in active labor." Corday said.

Her tear-stained face could not hide the inner fury boiling inside. "Oh this cute. My boyfriend and his lover sharing a ride with me to the hospital. This will make a _great_ story for the baby book." Corday tried to help her focus on her breathing while Romano frantically drove them all to the ER.


	29. One Life, One Love

A.N. I appreciate hearing from anyone who is still out there following this story. I know it's been a long time since the last update, but you have my word that the final chapter will soon follow.

**Chapter 29 - One Life, One Love**

After several minutes in the car, Grace looked around trying to get her bearings in the dark and demanded, "Shouldn't we be there already?"

"We're not going to Mercy. I'm taking you to County." Romano answered forcefully.

"You_ know_ my OB's at Mercy, Robert. Don't you dare humiliate me by bringing me to County with _her _in tow. Turn the car around, now!"

"No can do, we're already on the Kennedy."

"What were you thinking? You should have taken the Eisenhower!" She moaned as another contraction hit her hard. After several minutes, Grace piped up again, feeling her contractions coming faster and becoming quite concerned as they had slowed to a grinding halt. "What's wrong? Why aren't we moving?"

"Looks like there's an accident up ahead. Son of a bitch!" Romano barked.

"Could this day get any worse?" Grace said, as tears ran down her cheeks and she was forced to look over at Corday, who was trying her best to be supportive under the circumstances.

"Try not to worry, Grace. I'm sure you have plenty of time. First babies are notorious for taking their time to arrive." She smiled. "When I had Ella…"

"You're right, Elizabeth. What could I possibly have to worry about?" She said sarcastically, cutting her off mid-sentence, determined to halt her water works and lash back at Corday instead. "After all, I'm in labor, trapped on the freeway in a car with the woman who's ruined my life and the man who betrayed me when I needed him the most. I just can't imagine a more blissful setting for me to bring my baby into this world and if my run of good luck continues, I'm going to have this kid on the side of the expressway!"

"Hang in back there, love. I won't let that happen." Romano offered as he kept trying to maneuver the car from one lane to the other in a desperate attempt to make progress, his attention darting back and forth from Grace to the road ahead, while the noise of approaching sirens was nearly deafening.

"Forgive me if I don't feel reassured, Robert. It's just one lie after another with you, isn't it…Oh God!" she blurted, as another contraction interrupted her own rant.

"Grace, you need to focus on your breathing. Now take a couple of deep, slow breaths, yes, that's it…good. You need to try to forget about what transpired earlier. It's really not what you think."

"So you weren't standing in our living room, half-naked, draped all over Robert? Well thank God for clearing _that_ up!"

"Grace, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you. I had no idea you and Robert were together. I mean really, how could I? You certainly didn't go out of your way to clarify your situation, not even when I offered to be your sounding board a couple of weeks ago."

"Well you'll have to forgive me for not shouting the news from the rooftops, especially to _you_ of all people."

"Well if you had, it might have avoided us all from being in this unfortunate situation now, Grace." She chastised.

"You sure have a back-handed way of apologizing, Elizabeth. Is that how the British do it, by throwing in an insult for good measure?"

"Finally, we're making some headway!" Romano yelled from the front seat as they were past the accident and well on their way to County. "Don't worry, Grace. It won't be long now." He said, as much trying to convince himself as the others. With the noise of the traffic and sirens as they passed the scene of the accident, it was impossible to make out more than bits and pieces of the conversation going on in the back seat, which only added to his anxiety.

Corday continued, "I _am_ sorry, Grace. But you can't blame me for something I had no knowledge of, and it's not as though you're blameless in all this!"

Grace took a couple of short breaths as she focused inwardly, making her way through another painful contraction and then shook her head in disbelief as she spoke to Corday with controlled fury. "Well, I'm sorry too, Elizabeth. I'm sorry Mark died, I am. I'm sorry you moved back to Chicago. I'm sorry your daughter will never know her father and that you're desperately clinging to a life in the past. I'm sorry Robert spent so many years pining for someone who never returned his feelings, treated him like shit most of the time from what I can gather, and that even after all these years, he still has feelings for you. And finally, I'm sorry that the birth of my child has severely hampered your plans for a night of uninhibited lascivious adultery."

Tires squealed as they pulled up to the ambulance bay, and Romano helped Grace out of the car.

Corday tried to jump out of the car, but it was parked too close to the building on the passenger's side. After fumbling with the door to no avail, she had to slide over and get out from the other side. "Grace wait! You need to know! You need to know that he didn't…" Corday trailed off as the ER doors closed with Grace well out of earshot.

Bursting in as only he could do, Romano ordered the staff to immediately find a room for Grace. With trauma 1 free, he soon had her up on a gurney as the ER staff were all buzzing about who had brought Grace in to deliver her baby.

Carter, Chuny and Abby rushed in to look after Grace as Romano barked, "Snap to it Carter, Grace is in a lot of pain here."

"It's okay, John. I don't want any drugs if I can help it." She panted.

"Are you sure? I think Elizabeth here can attest to the wonders of an epidural." He smiled as Corday walked into the room apprehensively.

"Of course, _Saint Elizabeth_ is the expert on everything." She muttered, making it difficult for Carter to hear her.

"Sorry, what?"

"Never mind, I don't want anything!" Grace snapped, and looking up at Corday added, "and can you _please_ get _her _out of here?"

Bewildered, Abby walked Corday out of the room and watched her head towards the doctor's lounge.

"Dr. Romano?" Chuny said.

"You remember my name." He shot back sarcastically.

"Shouldn't you be leaving too? We've got it all under control in here."

"Oh I'm sorry, did you not get the memo?"

"What memo?"

"The one that says I run the place."

Chuny backed away and exchanged confused looks with Abby, who was on her way back into the trauma room.

Checking Grace's progress, Carter realized the baby was coming much faster than anyone initially anticipated. "Grace, I don't think we have time to get you up to the delivery room."

"No, I can't have my baby down here in the ER, please Carter!"

"Don't you trust us?" He grinned. "Relax you're in good hands." He smiled reassuringly, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"I know, but…can you at least close the blinds? I feel like I'm the star of a peep show in here." She said, as in nearly every direction, another member of the ER staff was blatantly staring in at her. "Oh, oh, shit…this is a bad one!" She wailed.

"You're doing great, Grace. Here, squeeze my hand." Romano instructed. Carter continued on with the delivery as the rest of the staff seemed completely bewildered. Dr. Romano was the last person they'd expected to see by Grace's side as she delivered her baby and even as it became blatantly obvious as to why he was there, they still couldn't believe it was true.

"I'm liable to crush it, Robert. You'd better let go." She glared at him. The pain of delivery was overwhelming, nothing like she could have ever imagined and it was only exacerbated by the stress of earlier events of the day.

"You're almost 10 cms, Grace. You'll be able to push soon." Carter said.

Abby walked over to help Grace with her breathing. She held a cold cloth on her forehead and tried to make her comfortable. This night was certainly not what Grace had envisioned, but she was relieved to have Carter and Abby by her side.

"Here, I brought you some ice chips." Abby offered, smiling.

"Thanks, Abby. You're the best." Grace replied. Abby winked back at Grace and then bent down to whisper, "It'll all be over soon."

Grace wondered if indeed, everything – good or bad would really soon be over.

"Okay, the baby's crowning. You can go ahead and push, Grace."

Grace pushed hard, grunting through the contraction.

"That was a good one." Carter nodded.

Grace relaxed momentarily, but the pain returned almost immediately. "Oh God, I think another one's coming."

"Keep breathing, Grace. Slow, deep breaths. That's it, good. It won't be much longer."

"If you're lying Carter I'll key your Jeep."

"Scouts honor, I promise. You're in the home stretch Grace."

Romano was intently focused on Grace. "You're doing great, Gracie. You're almost there."

She moaned in pain and reached over to take his hand. After several more pushes, Grace could barely recover in between contractions, as they kept coming nearly one on top of the other.

"I can't, I can't!" She panted.

"Yes you can, Grace. The baby's nearly here. It's almost over."

"You keep saying that!" She yelled. "But I'm exhausted and I haven't any strength left. I can't…I just can't." She began to sob, defeated and feeling as though she was not up to the task. She had never felt so drained in her entire life, and as though she simply couldn't go on.

"You're the strongest woman I know, Grace. You can do this." Romano urged as he looked lovingly into her eyes. "It's time to meet our baby."

Carter jumped in as another contraction began. "Okay, last push, Grace. Take it slow and easy and stop when I tell you so we can get the cord. It's partially wrapped around the baby's neck."

"Oh, God!"

"No it's okay, it's loose, but we just need to remove it slowly." With the final push, the baby was born and the sound of immediate crying was a joy and relief to everyone within earshot.

"It's a girl, Grace. Congratulations!" Carter beamed as the baby cried. "Dr. Romano, do you want to do the honors?" Carter offered.

Romano proudly cut the umbilical cord and lifted the baby up so Grace could hold her.

"She's here, she's finally here and oh, just look at her…she's so beautiful!" Grace cried, completely overcome at seeing her daughter for the first time.

"Just like you." Romano added, as tears flowed down his cheeks as well, and for that matter, there was not a dry eye in the room.

"We did it! I can't believe we have a daughter." Grace beamed.

"You did it all. Everything from morning sickness to labor on the freeway, and delivery without any drugs. I'm completely in awe of you, Gracie. Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Well, she is a pretty big girl." She said, cringing a little as she repositioned herself on the gurney.

"With a fat head, just like the old man. I'm so sorry, Gracie."

"I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days. At least I don't need any stitches."

"No, about Elizabeth. It wasn't my fault. I got home and she was there, somehow, just waiting for me."

"Not now, Robert, please." Grace replied, blinking hard, as she could feel her vision beginning to blur. She tried to focus, first looking down at her baby and then back up towards Abby and Carter who were across the room, giving the new parents some privacy while they updated the chart.

"Yes, now. _Right_ now. You need to listen to what I have to say!"

"I don't want to hear it, Robert! Can't you just let me enjoy this moment? Seeing you two together, it was just like it was with Steven and I…I…I feel like…"Grace suddenly went limp, as her eyes rolled back and Romano grabbed the baby from her arms just in time.

"Grace? Grace!"

Carter looked over and soon jumped into action to try to revive her. "Grace, Grace. Come on, Grace, stay with me!" He shook his head in concern, as he was unable to bring her around. "There's no response to pain."

"Sats are falling, bp is 60/40." Abby added.

"She's hemorrhaging. The placenta's not separating from the uterus."

"She's tachycardic. Let's get some oxytocin on board, she's going into hypovolemic shock!"

"Let's get two more units of saline. Abby, type and cross for four!"

"I've lost her pulse. Get a crash cart in here! We're losing her…"


	30. And in the End

Author's Note: The journey has finally come to an end but I've had an absolutely great time writing this story. I hope I've done the characters justice and created a satisfying read for those of you who have stopped by to peak in. Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback - it's been a pleasure to have had the opportunity to create a world where our fearless leader didn't meet with demise. Enjoy!

**Chapter 30 – And in the End**

As time passes according to its own agenda, in the end, we're all just lucky enough to have been given a ticket to ride along. We jump on optimistically and expectantly, oblivious to its value, its power, and one could argue that we're all at its mercy; this cruel 'gift' – time, will ultimately bring only sorrow and pain, won't it? Time is in constant motion, usually too slow or too fast and rarely at the pace we choose, but yet for each of us, it has a beginning and an end too. And all the while, this ticking time bomb if you will, is hidden and lurking as we are indeed, busy making other plans, and in doing so, it can be easy to get caught up in all the bunk.

We worry if we don't make the next traffic light; we'll be late or at least later than we want to be, and that in of itself will cause a huge chain reaction to the start of another day. The drycleaner lost your favorite dress and your evening is forever spoiled because you had to choose a replacement, and you know that nothing else could be as perfect as the now unavailable piece de resistance. The line-up at the grocery store is moving at a glacial pace and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the customer in front of you pulls out a wad of coupons that would choke a horse, and better still, she's paying entirely with dimes and nickels.

Ever present each and every day, these insignificant frustrations are unplanned and aggravating to deal with. They try to suck us in and distract us from the heart of our existence that beats like a clock, ticking ever so softly you'll forget about it altogether if you don't pay attention. And we should. We promise to, but often we don't. These annoyances and distractions can be all-consuming and for some, those who get dragged down and aren't able to pull themselves out from under, even fatal. These poor bastards – their daily strife turns to overwhelming despondency, leaving only a hollow shell dotted with fleeting moments of happiness, which over time, ultimately become too fragile to tolerate such impending doom. They succumb to it, desperately lost and without hope. No eternal springs here. And even those who are able to navigate the land mines quite adeptly, can still get side-tracked and veer off course without even realizing it.

The old souls can do it. They find a way to steer through the bunk and keep their eyes on the prize. Their enduring experience gives way to an intuitive wisdom and this gift allows them to see it all for what it's worth, cherishing every grain of sand pouring through that hourglass, big or small. When the time comes, and so it will for all of us, the best we can hope for is that there won't be anything of value worth taking. We will have lived it fully and completely; experienced it, been enveloped and loved by it, and even angered or sorrowed by it, until there is nothing left but the fulfillment of all its enduring memories. In the end, we can choose to beat it at its own game by simply draining it of everything it could possibly offer, and all the while, making sure we've had a damn good ride along the way.

* * *

When Grace woke up several hours later, she felt weak and disoriented. Romano was at her bedside, her hand firmly in his.

As her eyes opened slowly, she whispered, "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

As tears fell down his face, his voice was breaking as he uttered, "We almost lost you there."

"I guess I'm not that easy to get rid of." She managed, trying her best to offer a smile.

An ICU nurse was quick to check Grace's vitals and then rushed off to alert the attending physician that she had regained consciousness.

"What happened?"

"You hemorrhaged. You lost almost half your volume and when your heart stopped…" He broke off as tried to pull himself together. "I felt so helpless watching them take you up to the OR."

She squeezed his hand reassuringly and replied, "No wonder I feel like the living dead."

"The surgery went well."

"So you say. But you know how surgeons lie." She added, letting her hand fall away from his. "I guess it's lucky we came to County and I had the baby in the ER after all. Wait a minute…the baby? Where's the baby?!" She blurted as she became more alert.

"Don't worry, she's fine." He said, stroking her hair from her forehead. "She's in the nursery. They can bring her to you later, once you're feeling a bit stronger. She's so beautiful and…"

"No, I want her here with me…now."

"Grace you're in no condition to…"

"Please, Robert! I want my baby!" Grace implored, her voice approaching a nearly hysterical pitch. She had an inherent need to see her daughter for herself. Through the haze of the past few hours, Grace had experienced a myriad of sensations, where faint images had turned to nonsensical dreams, her mind drifting in and out of a semi-conscious state. She felt as though she were floating slowly at first, like a leaf blowing gently on the wind, then suddenly spiraling downwards, it had become a struggle to fight back up again and everything she'd known as reality had become a complete blur. She needed to be sure she had not been dealt with yet another devastating blow.

"Okay. I'll get her for you, Grace, just take it easy. You've been through a lot. The last thing you need is to get upset."

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that?" She said, as some adrenaline kicked in and she was experiencing a slight surge in strength. "I've been through enough to know what I want and what I need, Robert. Please bring my daughter to me. I really need to see her…I just need to know she's real." She implored.

He nodded in quiet agreement and after leaving Grace's bedside to fulfill her request, Dr. Aquino arrived to assess her condition. She was more than pleased to see the vast improvement Grace had made, but cautioned her on doing anything that might hamper her recovery. "You need your rest and you need to avoid stress right now. I mean it, Grace. Your baby needs a strong, healthy mom. You had a close call and major surgery, but I think you'll be fine as long as you follow my advice." She smiled warmly as she spoke with a hint of scolding. "Now get some sleep and I'll be back to look in on you this afternoon."

Romano returned moments later and carefully handed the baby to Grace. As she slept soundly in her mother's arms, she was innocently unaware of all the drama that ensued during her entrance into the world.

"She's a miracle…_our daughter_." Grace said wistfully, gently stroking her baby's tiny fingers. "I never thought I'd be able to be a mother, after…everything." The realization hit her head on, as the tears flowed freely now. There was no more holding back; there simply couldn't be. In the here and now, Grace wept honestly, allowing herself to feel _everything_ and she simply let it all wash over her. She felt as though she'd somehow navigated a tightrope and barely made it safely across to the other side.

After a moment quiet retrospection, she finally spoke up. "Walking in on the two of you and seeing you together was what I had been dreading these past few weeks. I knew you still had feelings for Elizabeth, but I'd hoped you would try to put them aside for me and for the baby. I wanted so much to believe you loved me more, that what we had together was all you needed and that you'd finally see that for yourself, but I guess I was just kidding myself, and wishing for something that just isn't possible." She turned her gaze back towards the baby, worried what she might see reflected in his eyes.

"No, you weren't. Nothing happened, Grace. You need to believe me."

"I used to know what I could believe in."

He shook his head slightly before his eyes met hers once more. He gazed intently, his conviction unwavering, although it was tearing him apart to see her staring back at him with painful despair. "I was telling her to leave when you walked in. It's not her I want, it's you…it's always been you." He added, gently reaching out to touch her cheek.

"If you really believe that, then you're not being honest with yourself, Robert."

"Grace, when she kissed me…when she touched me, and yes, even when she told me she wanted me, it was just the way I'd always imagined. I felt completely liberated."

Grace glared back at him, feeling her anger boiling up inside but before she could speak, they were interrupted by an ambitious nurse who was trying to check Grace's vitals again.

"Hey, nurse, whatever your name is? Take a walk." Romano barked.

The somewhat naïve-looking nurse, obviously new to County had no idea who she was choosing to cross, merely glared back at him. "Doctor's orders. I need to check Miss Hanson's vitals."

"Well do it later. We're in the middle of something here. I think I hear a bedpan calling your name. "

Ignoring him, she continued to go about the business at hand.

"Hey, hey! Did you not hear me or did you have 'get fired' on your list of things to do today?"

"Look, mister. I'm just trying to do my job. You'd better calm down or I'll call security and have you removed."

"Well, I seriously doubt that seeing as it's _Dr. Romano_ to you, as in the Chief of Staff of this hospital and soon to be your very worst nightmare if you don't get the hell out of here!"

The nurse suddenly broke into tears, while Romano blurted "Oh that's brilliant. Did they teach you that in nursing school?"

Grace looked up at him disapprovingly. "Jesus, Robert, you never know when to stop, do you?"

Taking it down a notch, he faced the nurse and added, "Look, I'm just trying to have a private moment with my family here. Believe me, if Grace needs anything I'll be the first to know."

Grace was caught off guard hearing him refer to her and the baby as his family. He may not have realized it, but its impact was palpable.

He sat down and tried to continue their conversation. "You don't understand. It was liberating to realize Elizabeth wasn't at all what I wanted. A part of me had been holding onto something from the past, something I'd clung to for so long, I just didn't know how to let it go. I guess I thought I had until she came back, but it was right in front of me all the time. She just isn't you, Grace…and you're everything."

Grace looked back at him without uttering a word. She closed her eyes as she wrestled with her conflicted emotions.

He pulled his chair right up against the bed and moved towards her, so she could feel the warmth of his skin against her own. Quiet but determined, the tone of his voice penetrated her very soul. "I love you, Grace. You have to trust me. Please say you do. Say you feel it, that you know it in your heart."

After a quiet pause, she pulled away slightly and dared to ask the question. "I need you to forget where we are, and forget we've just had this huge, life changing 'moment'. You owe it to me to put all your cards on the table, once and for all and tell me if we really have a chance to be together; just the three of us, without a cloud hanging over our heads." She said, again trying to be strong as she cradled her newborn daughter, as though her entire future was hanging on by a thread.

He smiled, "You're everything I've always wanted, Grace, and so much more than I could have ever hoped for. It kills me to think I put you in a position where you would even question that and when I thought I was going to lose you..." He broke off, unable to continue for a moment. He wiped his eyes and then reached over to kiss her desperately.

As she embraced his kiss, the baby began to stir and Grace broke into a huge smile. She marveled at her newborn child and then searched his eyes for the truth and she found it, right where it had always been, but now more discernable than ever before. With everything they'd been through, the bond between them had held up to every possible test; cruel rejection, cool deception and too many bitter tears to count. She was willing to wipe the slate clean, close the door on their stormy past and embark on a new chapter in her life; one seen through her daughter's eyes and filled with the kind of trusting innocence that allows you to really _live_. One of her favorite writers, William Saroyan, said, _"In the time of your life, live - so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it."_ Having had an intimate understanding of how quickly and mercilessly everything can all be torn apart in the blink of an eye, Grace was willing to ride her decision home and take a chance on her future. She was finally ready to take a leap of faith and go forward, realizing she wasn't afraid to live anymore.

Through her tears of joy, Grace finally blubbered, "What should we name her?"

"I like Hope. It seems right when I think about what she's brought to our lives already."

"Hope Romano. I like the sound of that."

"Not Hope Hanson?"

"She's your daughter, Robert. I would never take that away from you."

"I didn't want to assume. From the first day down by the river when you told me about her, you did the brave thing and let me know I was going to be a father, even though you never wanted to see me again. You've always had enough courage for both of us."

As she shifted on the bed, Grace's strength began to wane and her pain level was steadily increasing. "What's a girl have to do to get some good drugs around here?"

"We should probably keep it to ibuprofen if you think you're still up to nursing."

"Right."

When he returned with a medication cup, she nearly overlooked its contents before ingesting it.

"Robert, what's this?" She asked, looking down at an elegant engagement ring.

"Come on Gracie, you know I'm no good at this stuff."

She beamed as she looked up at him. "You're just full of surprises today."

"Most of them inherently forgettable. I hope this one can help make up for the others. Jesus, Gracie. I never meant for this day to turn out like this. I was going to give it to you when you got home from work after the baby shower."

"I guess you'd better put in on and see if it fits."

"Is that a yes?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"The moment I saw it, I knew I had to get it."

"It's incredibly beautiful, breathtaking really. When did you buy it, Robert?" She asked quietly, and he seemed hesitant to answer.

"That day…after you told me about the baby. It gave me something real to hold onto, even when I wasn't completely sure if we'd ever make it back to each other again."

Grace sparkled as he put the ring on her finger and though emotionally and physically drained, she couldn't contain a burst of happiness as she finally had everything she had ever hoped for. As they looked down at their daughter, she felt as though her world was finally complete in every way possible.

**THE END**


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